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Original poster

How the hell do I do everything now I no longer WFH

315 replies

Persuaderama · 18/04/2023 18:05

I’m a single parent, my husband left a month before lock down so all my single parenting was done whilst, at first fully WFH and then WFH 3 days a week.

Now my employer has decided we have to be in the office 3 days a week ‘for office culture’ (don’t get me started on office culture) and I’m really struggling to keep on top of the day-to-day jobs.

I work quite a senior level role and I come home exhausted and then have to ferry to hobbies/ tidy/ cook/ wash/ do bedtime, all in the space of a few hours before I fall into bed. When I WFH I could do the little jobs throughout the day - have the dinner cooking in oven, put the bins out on a break etc etc - and I was thinking I was bossing single mum life! Not so much now…..

Plus work feels more stressful as I’m losing 2 hours a day to commute time and the noise of a busy office just isn’t conducive to working for me. So I’m getting less done.

Any tips on how to work in an office as a single parent and have an organised life outside…..

OP posts:
Pootles34 · 18/04/2023 18:08

How old are your children? Could they have a job each such as doing the bins? Cut back on hobbies? Slow cookers are a cliche but they really help, as do online shopping deliveries.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 18/04/2023 18:11

Outsource or prep- most likely a mixture of both.
Can you get foodshop delivered/ batch cook/ hire a cleaner?
if not, it’s a case of never sit down- run the kids a bath and whilst it runs change the beds, hoover the stairs.

fruitypancake · 18/04/2023 18:13

I would have an honest conversation and ask if there is a compromise to be had.. maybe they would agree to one less day in the office

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ShadowPuppets · 18/04/2023 18:14

Not a single parent but I find not doing 3 days in a row in the office helps enormously, so there’s never a long run of being barely around. So in the office Monday, Wednesday, Friday. Then there’s only a gap of 1 day and the washing etc doesn’t have such a chance to pile up.

Is there any chance you could do slightly longer hours on your WFH days in order to do shorter hours on office days? Eg if your core hours are 9 - 5, doing 8 - 6 and 8 - 5 on your two home days and finishing at 4 on all of your office days?

LysHastighed · 18/04/2023 18:16

Ask for one day a week in the office. If they say no, look for another job. If you want to stay where you are, use the offer to negotiate a mostly remote schedule.

greenlychee · 18/04/2023 18:17

yes I think you need to speak to your team and see if they will be a bit flexible maybe? Could you do two longer days in the office (start early / finish late) and maybe a half day at home?

I would do meal prep at the weekend, get the kids to help, set out all school uniforms and packed lunch prep on sunday...

it's not ideal though is it as you will be knackered!! . Hard being a single parent.

ATerrorofLeftovers · 18/04/2023 18:19

fruitypancake · 18/04/2023 18:13

I would have an honest conversation and ask if there is a compromise to be had.. maybe they would agree to one less day in the office

This. How replaceable/liked are you? How alarmed would they be if they thought this was enough of a dealbreaker for you to jump ship? Might they compromise at one or two days in the office instead?

RunningFromInsanity · 18/04/2023 18:20

You’re going from 2 days in the office to 3? That’s not really a big jump.
Cook big portions on the days you WFH and have leftovers the other days.
Leave the washing up for 1 day, it’s not going to kill you.

sequincardi · 18/04/2023 18:21

Slow cooker?

MissPoldark · 18/04/2023 18:29

I agree that 2 days to 3 days in the office doesn’t really sound like it should be an issue.

also agree that the m, w, f pattern works to spread things out. Whenever in the office you can always look forward to a WFH day next, and whenever WFH it’s always a bonus to be able to tell people you can see them tomorrow if you need to meet f2f.

LlynTegid · 18/04/2023 18:32

Start to look for another job. Office culture if it is desirable can be achieved in a day or maybe two per week.

Hope you can have a conversation with your manager so that sense can prevail.

2reefsin30knots · 18/04/2023 18:36

Maybe the reason the boss wants you all back in the office is because you have all been cooking dinner and putting the bins out instead of working.

Fercullen · 18/04/2023 18:38

@2reefsin30knots 🙄Most people are not lazy and dishonest.

JustFrustrated · 18/04/2023 18:39

2reefsin30knots · 18/04/2023 18:36

Maybe the reason the boss wants you all back in the office is because you have all been cooking dinner and putting the bins out instead of working.

You know people are allowed, by law, breaks right?

Today I did a 5k walk whilst WFH.....on my lunch break.
I also put some washing on, whilst making a cup of tea.....

Some people really do hate WFH people don't they.

Newyeardietstartstomorrow · 18/04/2023 18:41

When I WFH I could do the little jobs throughout the day - have the dinner cooking in oven, put the bins out on a break etc etc this is why they want you back in the office.

2reefsin30knots · 18/04/2023 18:41

OP literally states that she does 'little jobs' throughout the work day. Mumsnet is awash with WFHs nipping out to do the school run and popping round the block with the dog.

karmakameleon · 18/04/2023 18:41

Put in a flexible working request?

Iheartsummertime · 18/04/2023 18:44

And if you are in the office, you have a chat with your colleague, queue for a coffee, printer etc. And then spend 2 hours a day commuting.

FurElise · 18/04/2023 18:46

I managed a team WFH over lockdown. Their productivity went up by about 25% when they worked from home as compared to in the office. They all admitted to having a much better work life balance thanks to being able to do all the things OP mentions - putting on a wash, sticking dinner in the oven etc etc. WFH does not equal lazy!!

Phewthatwasclose · 18/04/2023 18:49

2reefsin30knots · 18/04/2023 18:41

OP literally states that she does 'little jobs' throughout the work day. Mumsnet is awash with WFHs nipping out to do the school run and popping round the block with the dog.

Just like you'd be having 'little breaks' at work - cup of tea, chat to a colleague, popping out for lunch.....

I take it you've never worked from home? Or if you have, you were one of those people giving it a bad name?

I find I work so much more productively from home, luckily my company recognises that we all do, and we only need to be in twice a month.

Throwncrumbs · 18/04/2023 18:50

2reefsin30knots · 18/04/2023 18:36

Maybe the reason the boss wants you all back in the office is because you have all been cooking dinner and putting the bins out instead of working.

People who wfh just cannot see the piss taking they do…wfh while doing housework, washing, cooking dinner, childcare, then moan when then told they need to get back in the office. How do they think people who can’t wfh manage…nurses, doctors, police etc etc !

Heroicallyfound · 18/04/2023 18:51

You’ll manage. I used to do 4 days a week in the office before lockdown as a completely lone mum, no back up at all. You do what you need to do.

Cut out the hobbies/groups and do these at weekends. If there isn’t a group you can make your kid can’t do it. They will be fine. You can add bits back in as the kids get older or as you get more used to routine.

Meal prep or do really simple stuff on office days - beans on toast, salad with cold meat and bread, whatever works for you. Save your more elaborate meals for other days of the week.

Develop boundaries at work. Log off at your finish time. If you’re getting less done because of office noise etc you’ll need to adjust people’s expectations, say no to tight deadlines etc. You’re human - make sure you act like and expect people to treat you as one!

Do all your housework and laundry at the weekend. On office days all you need to worry about is dinner and bedtime routine when you get home. That’s it.

Throwncrumbs · 18/04/2023 18:52

LlynTegid · 18/04/2023 18:32

Start to look for another job. Office culture if it is desirable can be achieved in a day or maybe two per week.

Hope you can have a conversation with your manager so that sense can prevail.

Not everyone works in an office!

YoDood · 18/04/2023 18:52

It’s much harder but I would also make the most of your two days WFH to do the laundry, batch cook a bit etc.

Original poster
Persuaderama · 18/04/2023 18:53

In answer to those who hate people that WFH (because they’re envious I assume) my work couldn’t give a shit if I do jobs around the house during the working day. I am an adult with a very senior role, I do that role and I do it well. No-one monitors my time. In fact they encourage us to do things such as go for walks to break up the day. The reason they want people in is purely to do with office culture, especially for younger colleagues. The industry I work in was once a very sociable one.

I agree that 2 days to 3 days in the office doesn’t really sound like it should be an issue

Unfortunately we don’t get to choose the days so it’s Tue-Thu which means it’s in a row and I get really behind.

I have one child and she’s 6 so she helps a bit but creates more mess really!

I don’t really want to leave as I like my job and am on 6 months notice so it would be a lot of hassle!

OP posts: