How the hell do I do everything now I no longer WFH

[Persuaderama]

I’m a single parent, my husband left a month before lock down so all my single parenting was done whilst, at first fully WFH and then WFH 3 days a week.

Now my employer has decided we have to be in the office 3 days a week ‘for office culture’ (don’t get me started on office culture) and I’m really struggling to keep on top of the day-to-day jobs.

I work quite a senior level role and I come home exhausted and then have to ferry to hobbies/ tidy/ cook/ wash/ do bedtime, all in the space of a few hours before I fall into bed. When I WFH I could do the little jobs throughout the day - have the dinner cooking in oven, put the bins out on a break etc etc - and I was thinking I was bossing single mum life! Not so much now…..

Plus work feels more stressful as I’m losing 2 hours a day to commute time and the noise of a busy office just isn’t conducive to working for me. So I’m getting less done.

Any tips on how to work in an office as a single parent and have an organised life outside…..

I will say I'm not jealous so much as utterly fucked off when speaking to a clearly WFH person and you can hear their sodding washing machine going, dog barking and they're clearly not at a desk but speaking via shit quality headsets

This, too. I am absolutely sick of ringing up companies whose employees are still WFH. One was chatting away to me about his family and when I said, very politely, that I really needed him to answer my question so I could get on with a million other things, he said "oh yeah, sorry, I'm working from home and I really miss chatting to people". FFS.

I'm a single parent too, working FT and not from home (I'm a nurse). I managed to get FT hours compressed in to 4 days (set days during week, and able to work around wraparound care times - so I'm v lucky!!). Wraparound is 0730-1830. It's a bugger at times, as I do sometimes I feel like I'm chasing my tail, but we do muddle through, and after 4yrs of doing this, are mostly sorted!

What I do is:
-batch cook (massive amounts) at weekends (and freeze stuff into portions -easy to sling in microwave to defrost or take out in morning to defrost ready for evening). Or when I do cook a meal, I double up and freeze the uneaten stuff into portions.
-menu plan as much as poss.
-use gadgets to make my life easier: robovac for downstairs (it vacuums floors every day), Thermomix/Ninja/Instant Pot for making quick/easy meals (they're all multifunctional and save me a load of time! I'm a foodie and I LOVE cooking!). e.g with the IP, it can cook a risotto in about 7mins. I barely use my stove or oven as these things do most of the work for me. I have a pressure washer to clean my car and keep patio/driveway clean. The kids like using the cordless vacuum (so are happy to vacuum stairs and upstairs rooms).
-put a load of laundry on as soon as enough accumulates for one load to go in. I either put it on in the evening and then hang out in morning, or put it straight in tumble drier if weather is crap. I rope kids in to fold/put away stuff.
-dishwasher (slimline one) goes on everyday. Again, kids roped in to stack/put away stuff.
-make sure packed lunches are sorted the night before. Ditto school bags etc.
-tidy/clean as we go along. Again, I rope kids in to help me out. Little bit each day really helps us keep on top of things.
-I pay someone to clean my windows and I pay someone to cut the hedge in my garden.

Don't worry, you're doing just great already and you will be fine doing this. :) xx

What about using meal boxes for the days you are in the office? We now get Gousto for busy days. There are a selection of quick recipes, so they don't all take ages.

OP I'm in a similar position although I'm not single (however DH travels internationally with work). I'm going up to 3 days a week in the office.

It might be worth asking your boss if there's any flex in your start and finish time - e.g you're happy to come in and do 3 days a week in the office but can you do 9.30 - 4.30 and work longer days on your at home days.

Washing I throw in an evening. Every night at 7pm a wash goes in.

If you work, say mon-weds-Fri- throw washing in on Mon night and Tues night and take out to dry Tuesday and Thursday etc etc and you can still get more washing in on your WFH days.

For meals - I try and find a balance, so every week I will buy a couple of whack it in the oven things - e.g Sainsbury's beef hash. I buy frozen veg that can be steamed in the microwave. I prefer fresh veg but on my office days, I can get in and just put something in the oven and put in some extra veg to steam. Rather than standing there peeling potatoes, and cutting broccoli.

Otherwise though - cut your veg on a Sunday and put it in tupperware and get some of them microwave steamers - so you can just grab your carrots and broccoli and it's already done.

Make your kid tidy toys before sitting down for dinner.

With the bathroom and kitchen - just do it as you go. Like I will put on the dishwasher after dinner, that's means it's done by 8.30pm and then I unstack it. Next day I have an empty dishwasher that I can start loading, rather than coming down and having to empty it or leaving breakfast stuff all over the side.

When you sort clothes - do it as outfits so that it's already to go. Saves so much time in a morning.

If you do online food shopping - add things as you go in a basket, so you don't have to sit down for an hour at a time.

And also, I vote get a cleaner. It just takes away so much stress. Even if it's just a couple of hours - have them focus on your high traffic areas - e.g the bathroom, floors, kitchen etc.

If you are cleaning in an evening - be specific and set a timer - e.g 30 minutes and I'm going to do X. I find that if I don't do that, what I'm actually doing is pottering about.

I second goustos 10 minute meals. Lots of child friendly recipes too.

@2reefsin30knots come on now! No one should be chained to their desks, no matter where they're working! Do you really think that no one is entitled to a lunch hour or morning / afternoon breaks when they're working? Do you never leave your own desk? Or do you run an Amazon warehouse?

Thank you so much to everyone giving me their tips. And as one poster said, I probably do just need to get my mojo back. I can’t believe I used to do 5 days in the office when 3 is now killing me!

The original post was not at all suggestive of wanting a debate on WFH so if you want to debate this AGAIN start another thread perhaps. And, yes I know, I can’t tell you what to do or whatever you’ll retort but it’s just a bit pointless. Put that rabid energy into arguing/ campaigning for something that makes a difference to people and their lives!

@TicTac80 finally a sensible answer among all the frothing!

Ooh some WFH envy. You lot do realize that there's a balance don't you. I can put a wash on before work and hang it out in my break. I can do the bins in my lunch break. I work way over my hours. If I want to do something in work time I do. I don't take the piss.

I think people have started to realise that there's often no need for the sort of presenteeism culture in the workplace building OP. For diligent and productive workers it's very easy to find the jump in office attendance to be hard going because you're also losing the headspace and the flexibility to allocate time and tasks in a way that works for you.

I never mastered this because in schools some colleagues seem to think that everyone is on call every minute of the day, but could you find a way to protect your break time on your office days to reliably do annoying electronic home admin tasks/order the food shop for delivery or to collect?

@AlwaysGinPlease Tbf I think not many are truly jealous of someone being able to take the bins out for 30 seconds on their lunch break..

OP literally states that she does 'little jobs' throughout the work day. Mumsnet is awash with WFHs nipping out to do the school run and popping round the block with the dog
That's why the OP chose 'little' jobs - to fit in with the little breaks that are allowed.

As usual, the bitter office bitches are out in full force because someone paused to fart when they should have been working 😆

I'd speak to your manager OP. Office culture (whatever the fuck that means) team building and all that bullshit are massive distractions from actual working, as are colleagues bleating away at you about their kids/hobbies/weekends. Much more than sticking a washing on is.

The desperation for people to get back to the office is about nothing more than micromanagement and control and bosses need to wake up and realise they are going to have a high turnover of staff if they don't buck up their ideas and give something back, cause they sure as hell aren't paying enough for us to tolerate "Office culture".

@AlwaysGinPlease but so many people who are WFH do take the piss and these 'what am I going to do now I have to go back to the office?' threads just illustrate it perfectly.

Both husband and I WFH.

Husband makes me a cup of tea on his 15 minute tea break.. I drink at my desk and "save" my break for the 12 minute round trip to do the school run down the road.

My lunch break of 30 minutes is used to iron/unload dishwasher/run the hoover over the place etc. Husband lurks about, makes a cuppa, finds me coat hangers during his lunch break. On a Friday we extend our lunch to one hour and go to M&S for a scone.

I don't have to attend my office at all. I sometimes meet my boss at the local coffee shop for breakfast/lunch and we catch up.

I'm management level civil servant - very responsible job and managing to work/mum/wife well.

I would never, ever go back to an office environment.

@Borgonzola, I can't be bothered with frothing!! Thank you though. And I remember when I first became a single mum, wondering how the hell I'd juggle everything, so I'm always happy to share tips/give encouragement!! (turns out it was/is far easier being a single parent than being with the XH, but that's another story!!).

OP, I forgot to say...I either do a Lidl food shop on my day off in the week, or do an online grocery delivery. Kids activities are either on my day off or maybe at a weekend. Bomb proof childcare is a must too. In short, do what you need to do to make your/your DC lives easier, and what works best for you :)

I work a mix of full days and half days and when I work three full days in a row I find the last two half days I’m so disorganised and messy. Since Christmas I’ve started having mini jobs for each day and that’s really helped. I use the easier days to clean, get more washing done etc and have easier teas on those three days, making sure I’ve got it back to normal by the end of each night, I don’t expect extra jobs of myself. I’ve found changing how I view the week has really helped.

Nah, just those that can and do wfh 😂

Also there are jobs where that's the only place to work from and there is no office.

I'd rather spend 5 minutes in my kitchen emptying my dishwasher while my tea is brewing and then get back to my desk, than get cornered in the office kitchen and spend 10 minutes hearing all about Carol from HR's weird allergies and Julie from IT's precocious children whilst my tea goes cold.

OP: definitely meal planning. Takes away the mental load when you are tired at the end of the day.

But being able to do things like this through the day means that, while everyone is having to waste their evenings washing and cleaning and having zero time the WFH people are enjoying a decent quality of life instead of wearing themselves down to the bone, only to sleep then commute 8 hours after and do it all again.

Just to put it into some perspective, the H&SE advises that VDU workers should stand up and walk away from their screens for 5 - 10 mins. I can guarantee if you look into your H&S policies it will be in there somewhere. In an office you get to listen to Susan bore on about her boring as shit life because "office culture". At home you can use that time to put a washing on or sweep the floors so you can actually use your time out of work to gasp relax?

But of course according to Mumsnet it's ok to have breaks and abide by the VDU guidelines ONLY if you are in an office under the watchful eyes of management. In fact, you should do this strictly and cry to ACAS if your manager even DARES to suggest you do it too often.

But don't you DARE do it at home. That's disrespectful and makes you a shit worker. 🙄

https://www.hse.gov.uk/contact/faqs/vdubreaks.htm

I'm still perplexed at the volume of washing and bin taking time. I could almost get next to mow the grass or take the dog out, but really I've just timed a bin run and the kettle still hadn't boiled when I got back

I drink at my desk and "save" my break for the 12 minute round trip to do the school run down the road

What do you do once you've done the school run, @evalsaro? Do you return to work with your child/ren milling around?

Not much I can offer apart from I take my noise cancelling headphones into the office and if the noise is too much I pop those on for an hour. I also do 8-4 so have a quiet hour before most people arrive which is a blessing.

I also try and put more of my meetings in for the days I'm in the office and then my home days are for knuckling down on things that need concentration. I only do laundry on days I'm home and batch cook on those days.

Also maybe put a positive spin on your commute. Listen to an audiobook or podcast and make it something you love (not for education) and then you don't feel like the time is a waste.

I really don’t understand this post! You aren’t a SAHM surely if your children are adults?! Nothing wrong with being a housewife but seems a bit strange to come on and have a dig at someone working who is explaining how they manage their time!