How the hell do I do everything now I no longer WFH

[Persuaderama]

I’m a single parent, my husband left a month before lock down so all my single parenting was done whilst, at first fully WFH and then WFH 3 days a week.

Now my employer has decided we have to be in the office 3 days a week ‘for office culture’ (don’t get me started on office culture) and I’m really struggling to keep on top of the day-to-day jobs.

I work quite a senior level role and I come home exhausted and then have to ferry to hobbies/ tidy/ cook/ wash/ do bedtime, all in the space of a few hours before I fall into bed. When I WFH I could do the little jobs throughout the day - have the dinner cooking in oven, put the bins out on a break etc etc - and I was thinking I was bossing single mum life! Not so much now…..

Plus work feels more stressful as I’m losing 2 hours a day to commute time and the noise of a busy office just isn’t conducive to working for me. So I’m getting less done.

Any tips on how to work in an office as a single parent and have an organised life outside…..

It’s not exciting but one of the things I found easiest was having set meals on 1-2 days a week. I use to use Sunday every other week (when kids at their dads) to batch cook four portions and that would be those two days sorted for the month.

i was always fortunate my kids maintained mid week contact and I’ve always had flexible working so could work around this but I too wonder how I ever managed A full week in the office…

Even my sons who are only just out of university stage and live a home find 2 days a week WFH (trainee lawyers) is useful - one puts his washing on during one of those 2 days, they save vast amounts on tube fares as we don't live very close to London, they get more sleep, one sets his alarm for 9.15am on working from home days.

I have worked from home since the mid 90s when I set up on my own (lawyer) and it's brilliant. However for younger people and some customer servdice roles it is not working that well. Young people need to learn from people they are right next to physically.

@whatapfaff no - my mother lives six houses down, DS, who is nearly 9, hops out of the car and danders straight over to her house for the remaining time until I finish at 16:00.

My parents actually moved to our development for this reason.

@Hubblebubble which industry? Sign me the F up please. Cut my pay in half if you have to.

😂

This is a great idea.

As a single parent myself it is hard juggling everything but I absolutely love my drive because I can blast my music and sing my lungs out.

Most meals that I cook are 4 servings, so for just me and my DD they’ll do for 2 different meals.
So eg I’ll cook something on Sunday and have the same thing on Monday or Tuesday.

The days that I’m not cooking from scratch I will do more of the housework, laundry or shopping as I have more time.

You will get into a routine.

For the first couple of weeks spend Sunday doing as much as you can, including batch cooking and getting outfits ready for the week.
Then the week will run much more smoothly.

It's not that everyone is "envious."
I'm a recent graduate in a previously sociable industry and it's awful that so many people like you in senior roles don't think it's important to work in an office at least 3 days a week! You had your time climbing the ladder getting promoted to a senior role when wfh wasn't normal and now your in a senior role don't care about anyone else!! I bet your staff do not feel supported. People are so selfish it's depressing

I don’t know many men who share custody 50/50.

Most have their DCs EOW or not at all (like mine).

I don’t know why but I think it’s very common and isn’t frowned upon like it would be if it was the other way around and the mum wasn’t involved.

@BitchBrigade excellent post.

It does seem as if it’s socially accepted. Very strange.

@BitchBrigade I've never had VDU breaks even in an office - contact centre work
Because technically you're not looking at the computer continuously and you can stand up while working or look away, you don't get them

So we just get standard lunch and breaks which means about 2.5hrs continuous on the computer/phone. Can't walk away from the desk. I WFH as it doesn't make a difference really, I'm still tied to the desk and no time to speak to colleagues

Why? Are you saying that being in the office means no tea breaks, small talk with colleagues, gym at lunch etc?

Fair enough. I was just wanting to give reasons why I am absolutely not jealous, as 'jealousy' seems to be the MN default reason why people don't like other people doing something. However, it would be fair to say that I am a housewife, rather than a SAHM to student children!

@marniemae excellent point, well made.

In that case, is there a reason why your mother shouldn't collect your DS from school when you're "working from home"?

Is this a joke?

Surely working at a senior level as a single parent means you buy in whatever hell you need during the week.

I am in a similar situation, and solved the issues by employing a Nanny Housekeeper, who does school run, shopping, cooking, cleaning, extra curricular activities etc. This arrangement has allowed me to continue working at the level I was at before DC, through maternity leaves, and as well as when I split up with my EXDP. It's an absolute game changer.

*whatever help you need

Gosh OP if I had to work in the office now, there is no way I'd cope as I've adjusted to wfh. You mention you're senior, can you find another job and if you want to keep this one use it to negotiate new and better terms. Only do this if you're willing to move though.

Second to this I thought it was the case that employers had to help make adjustments wherever possible if you had young dc. Is this something you could ask for temporarily. I had a senior role in a dickhead company and they asked me back from maternity leave early but wouldn't allow me to go pt so I negotiated some wfh days until an agreed certain date in the future and then they eventually forgot (or didn't care/notice) so I just kept it up until I left.

Now I wfh 100% of the time and I get far more done low then I ever did in the office. Perhaps you might even be able to look for a new job with more wfh anyway. Good luck.

As a carer, if all the people that could WFH did. It would make the driving I have to do for work a lot better as those people wouldn't be clogging up the roads.

I’m wondering if newly graduates are also more productive at home, with no irl conversations or people to learn from. Must be lonely and not good for their MH. I think sadly this will be a huge future problem.

@Cgar2018 why would it be a joke?
For new graduates it really helps being in an office environment and having senior management around?
That's how the OP would have got to where they are?

So you're going from 2 days in the office to 3 now? I can't see that being such a significant difference. You just need to get creative! Get the kids involved, can you outsource cleaning, bulk cook on the weekends for your office days so you just need to reheat etc

I would approach HR and your boss and ask what compromise they can make. Explain you have a lot on your plate and that WFH is advantageous to you. Ultimately I would probably consider changing employer if they said no… what a stupid idea going back is - I agree with you it’s not efficient and it’s just about presenteeism and not about moving business forward. It might help your case to have another job offer in hand before you approach them- I would play hardball and say I need 4 days WFH or I’m afraid I’m off. Ask for clarity on ‘office culture’ aswell and how that directly equates to the business objectives? Sounds like waffle. Could you look at moving to a different department aswell if a big company. Good luck to you xxxx

There is one child. She is 6. Not much extra cleaning, washing or cooking..