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Original poster

Considering cutting DD off

243 replies

DarkNecessities · 10/04/2023 22:19

This is something I never, ever thought I would do. She’s 25 and has chosen to live a totally different lifestyle to me. I’ve tried so very hard to accept but my MH is suffering and as sad as it makes me feel. I just need to cut loose. I’m not sure how long for tbh

OP posts:
tinyblackcat · 10/04/2023 22:22

What does ‘a different lifestyle’ mean exactly? I mean, has she joined a circus or become a satanist or what?

Stichintime · 10/04/2023 22:23

What is it you object to about her lifestyle, and vice versa?

Dacadactyl · 10/04/2023 22:24

What is it about her lifestyle that you're struggling with? I could understand some things, but not others.

HighInfidelity · 10/04/2023 22:24

What do you mean by cutting her off? As in no contact at all?

SpinCityBlues · 10/04/2023 22:24

Depends.

MajesticWhine · 10/04/2023 22:24

What different lifestyle? Is it drugs or prostitution or something? Would you not worry more if you didn't know what was going on for her?

MichelleScarn · 10/04/2023 22:25

Does she live with you? Why does what she does have such an impact on you? Does she know you place responsibility on her with regards to your mental health?

Original poster
DarkNecessities · 10/04/2023 22:25

It’s a religion

OP posts:
Soproudoflionesses · 10/04/2023 22:25

Need more info

determinedtomakethiswork · 10/04/2023 22:26

I could never cut off a child because of her religion. I would just really hope that she came out of it one day and I was still there for her.

Respberrypachouli · 10/04/2023 22:26

I would never cut my children off because of religion. We choose what we want to believe in. Who said that your set of beliefs is the correct one? Fear is born from ignorance anyway.

Bearpawk · 10/04/2023 22:26

Is she safe?
Is she happy?
Is she harming anybody or herself?

Original poster
DarkNecessities · 10/04/2023 22:27

She doesn’t live with me

I could never abandon her completely, it’s the day to day contact I find so very difficult

OP posts:
TakeMyStrongHand · 10/04/2023 22:27

Unless it's a religion that sacrifices small babies I'd say you're overreacting. Even if it is a cult like affair better to make sure she knows she has a safe exit if required.

LBFseBrom · 10/04/2023 22:28

Don't allow religion to come between you. Respect each other's right to have different beliefs and talk about other things. The girl is still your daughter.

FurAndFeathers · 10/04/2023 22:28

@DarkNecessities Thus sounds difficult but I think if you want useful advice then you need to post more context/the whole story

otherwise no one can really advise you

Fuerza · 10/04/2023 22:30

Is she allowed to see you?
Is it a cult or a religion?

Original poster
DarkNecessities · 10/04/2023 22:30

I respect her beliefs but she doesn’t respect mine.

thank you @FurAndFeathers

OP posts:
Donotgogentle · 10/04/2023 22:30

Are you religious yourself op and has your dd converted to another religion?

I find it hard to understand how you could cut a child off for her religious beliefs.

Gymmum82 · 10/04/2023 22:30

We can’t all be the same and have the same opinions and beliefs.
I would never cut my children off over a religion. I have friends from all different religions with differing levels of beliefs. I’m not sure how her religion affects you or your relationship

LettingMySouthSideShow · 10/04/2023 22:31

I would hope we could agree to disagree, respect each other’s lives and choices. Would that not be possible? My kids would have to do something really, really awful for me to cut them off.

Original poster
DarkNecessities · 10/04/2023 22:32

I have no religion

imo - she is controlled and oppressed

OP posts:
LBFseBrom · 10/04/2023 22:32

If you don't live together you don't have day to day contact. Live your own life and let your daughter live hers. She is entitled to believe whatever she chooses and if there is no danger, stop worrying. People do go through phases in which they are fascinated by different philosophies (I did), that's part of life.

SittingOnTheChair · 10/04/2023 22:32

We need a whole lot more information here.

Please stop giving it in drips.

Dacadactyl · 10/04/2023 22:32

I can understand you feeling like this if you are staunchly of one faith (and brought her up in the ways of this faith too) and then she's gone off to join another religion. I would have sympathy with you to an extent. However, she's an adult and has a right to find God in her own way, as hard as I know it must be for you.

Or is it that you are of no religion and are finding it difficult that she is now religious?

However, what is it about the day to day contact that you are finding difficult?