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Original poster

Sat on my own on holiday ....boyfriend made new friends

342 replies

balconygirl · 30/03/2023 17:33

I'm on holiday with my boyfriend of 2 years.
It's meant to be a romantic holiday
Had a brilliant morning
Then he talks to anyone
He started talking to this couple with their kids
All afternoon he has chatted with them
I have sat there -he hasn't said a word
He's organising to meet them tonight and keep spaces around the pool tomorrow

I said I'm going to room to have a shower
He has stated writhed the pool with them

I'm not excited for the few days ahead now
Am I being silly ?
I don't want to spend my holiday with strangers
I'm just not that type of person

OP posts:
DanceMonster · 30/03/2023 17:34

They probably wish he’d piss off so they can get back to their family holiday!

sunseaandme · 30/03/2023 17:36

Others that are more extroverted may disagree but I totally am with you on this. There's a big difference to having a little chat with people to spending all afternoon chatting to them, making plans to see them later and ignoring your partner. If I had been ignored all afternoon on what was meant to be a romantic holiday (and therefore spending quality time together) I would be fuming! YANBU x

ChangedmynameagainforChristmas · 30/03/2023 17:36

They do say holiday can make or break a relationship by testing it away from home and friends etc... Maybe this is where it ends

jjeanii · 30/03/2023 17:37

That's not right at all . I would say something to him definitely.

Original poster
balconygirl · 30/03/2023 17:38

Oh I don't mind having a chat at all but 3 hours I've sat on my Todd
Last night was lovely and now tonight il be sat with a random family

OP posts:
DanceMonster · 30/03/2023 17:39

Do this family actually want him hanging around with them? Maybe I’m antisocial but if some random bloke starting hanging around with us all the time on our family holiday I’d be coming up with ways to get rid of him.

custardbear · 30/03/2023 17:40

I'd go get myself a lovely drink and enjoy my holidays 🍸🍹

validnumber · 30/03/2023 17:40

I've been where you are.
It's no fun!
Be very clear about what you want without getting upset.
It's perfectly reasonable.
See what his response and more importantly his actions are.

cushioncovers · 30/03/2023 17:40

My ex used to do this. Make a nuisance of himself trying to spend time with other people on holiday. It was embarrassing and lonely. I wasn't enough for him when it was just the two of us. He always wanted there to be a group. What's he like day to day op? Does he enjoy just spending time with just you ?

Marchforward · 30/03/2023 17:40

Have you thought about talking to him about this?

TeeBee · 30/03/2023 17:40

Is there a compromise to be found where he could socialise during the day you can just be together during the evening? Or the other way around?
Sounds like you just like different things from a holiday. Neither is right or wrong. However, this is why I love my equally introverted other half...we prefer shutting out the world.

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 30/03/2023 17:41

Try to have a nice time, then end it when you get home ( though it sounds as if you may not have to).

Roselilly36 · 30/03/2023 17:43

This is the reason, we don’t book hotels, we are very social people, but on a family holiday, we want to spend the time together. We book a villa with a private pool. No sun bed hassle, more space to chill and relax.

Roselilly36 · 30/03/2023 17:45

ChangedmynameagainforChristmas · 30/03/2023 17:36

They do say holiday can make or break a relationship by testing it away from home and friends etc... Maybe this is where it ends

100% agree.

FannyFifer · 30/03/2023 17:45

Go somewhere else tonight. Can't think of anything worse than making holiday friends.

abstractplantpot · 30/03/2023 17:46

Oh i totally sympathise with you and the other family! We stopped booking hotel packages because we go on family holidays to be together and reconnect. It got to a point were you were afraid to make eye contact with certain people. Is he sure they want him chatting to them? Are they being
polite?

newnamethanks · 30/03/2023 17:46

Last time I saw this, the only attention the neglected girlfriend got in a few hours was to be sent every sonoften, uncomplaining, to the bar to get him another drink. He has no manners. Replace him.

UniversalMamma · 30/03/2023 17:49

abstractplantpot · 30/03/2023 17:46

Oh i totally sympathise with you and the other family! We stopped booking hotel packages because we go on family holidays to be together and reconnect. It got to a point were you were afraid to make eye contact with certain people. Is he sure they want him chatting to them? Are they being
polite?

This made me laugh! 👀

Mypatioisminging · 30/03/2023 17:51

My friend does this. We literally can’t go anywhere and she’s spending time with other folks at the bar, or chatting at their table in a restaurant. She’s a properly extroverted social butterfly. I’ve even seen her get a tour of some randoms camper van in a car park , sit on someone’s rug at a festival and talk to them, I love her to bits and we always go out as a group so it’s fine, it’s never done out of anything negative, she just loves talking to new people. Me. I don’t enjoy it so much and find it a little dull after a few mins…😂

Broadbeachshallow · 30/03/2023 17:52

Have you talked to him yet? Told him how this makes you feel?

If you have, and he's still ignoring you so he can hang out with strangers... I think this is you being warned off this relationship.

I would not sit around waiting for him. Make plans without him - sightseeing, an activity, down to the bar and make friends, go into town and find some locak food you fancy. Being on your own is nice when it is a choice you make for yourself - don't sit alone, waiting for him to give you a bit of his attention.

UniversalMamma · 30/03/2023 17:53

YANBU, however it sounds like you are just different types of people. He loves to socialise when our and about and be in groups, you want to chill just the two of you.

That being said, he should have picked up that you weren’t enjoying the prolonged chat with the other family, checked you were ok, and moved on when you said you wanted to be somewhere by yourselves! My partner would spot right away if I was having a crappy time and would make sure I was alright. You should be able to expect that OP.

I would speak with him and see if it’s going to be a dealbreaker for the two of you.

UniversalMamma · 30/03/2023 17:54

Broadbeachshallow · 30/03/2023 17:52

Have you talked to him yet? Told him how this makes you feel?

If you have, and he's still ignoring you so he can hang out with strangers... I think this is you being warned off this relationship.

I would not sit around waiting for him. Make plans without him - sightseeing, an activity, down to the bar and make friends, go into town and find some locak food you fancy. Being on your own is nice when it is a choice you make for yourself - don't sit alone, waiting for him to give you a bit of his attention.

Yes, second this.

MissLucyLiu · 30/03/2023 17:54

Just providing some insight to another perspective!

Whenever my bf and I go holiday we always end up making friends! We usually organise excursions together (usually it also saves money, think about renting a boat out for the day split by 4 people rather than 2 type of things). We absolutely love and enjoy each other's company but also we love meeting people from different backgrounds.

I don't think you should think of this as a bad thing. But if you guys are just sitting by the pool if he wasn't chatting to them what would you be talking about? If you were to stay in silence and read your own books etc maybe he need to find something a bit more stimulating?

Just thinking on top of my head here. Why dont you suggest you two do something different. Go out the hotel/beach go for a walk, check a new bar out locally etc etc..

Original poster
balconygirl · 30/03/2023 17:56

He's came back up to the room really drunk and said I'm ruining the holiday
And doesn't know what my problem is
Says he wants to go home -slavering on

OP posts:
Manichean · 30/03/2023 17:57

Maybe he is being passive aggressive friendly to these people - leaving you out on purpose, punishing you.