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Original poster

Sat on my own on holiday ....boyfriend made new friends

342 replies

balconygirl · 30/03/2023 17:33

I'm on holiday with my boyfriend of 2 years.
It's meant to be a romantic holiday
Had a brilliant morning
Then he talks to anyone
He started talking to this couple with their kids
All afternoon he has chatted with them
I have sat there -he hasn't said a word
He's organising to meet them tonight and keep spaces around the pool tomorrow

I said I'm going to room to have a shower
He has stated writhed the pool with them

I'm not excited for the few days ahead now
Am I being silly ?
I don't want to spend my holiday with strangers
I'm just not that type of person

OP posts:
Icantfindmykeys · 31/03/2023 20:11

Omg this used to happen with my ex. Before I knew it we’d be making compromises to accommodate new holiday friends! We did make life long friends with some. However towards the end of the relationship I was older and a tad wiser 😂
I said “I’m not making friends with anyone on holiday this time … do it again and will just tell them to Fuck Off!”
It worked but it the relationship didn’t, thank god! 😂😂

Jack80 · 31/03/2023 20:33

Speak to him when sober, we met a couple on holiday and messaged each on messenger but spend time together also. Ask him to have a compromise

Quia · 31/03/2023 20:46

This reminds me so much of the bloke who tried to attach himself to us when we were on holiday. He was OKish, but increasingly boring as soon as he had had a drink. We started hiding from him, then noticed that other people in the hotel were doing the same. Meantime, his wife seemed to be having a lovely time as she was one of the few people he left in peace.

Blueswirl · 31/03/2023 20:49

I had an ex who did this, would look really bored if if was just us in the pub, often left me on my own to the point where people would comment on it, kept foisting himself on groups of people who were clearly not interested and when I managed to drag him away told me I was a 'deadening influence!'
I am now married to a lovely man who likes spending time with me and doesn't embarrass himself with strangers.
SWAP HIM!

Shakespeareandi · 31/03/2023 21:53

Like many others I've had this too. My ex and my OH were/are like this. I find it really annoying. I'm not interested in making holiday friends. I have to put so much energy into chatting with strangers and I'm never going to see them again. Im introverted, have close friends and love building friendships which lasts a long time. If it's for a holiday I cant see the point. I'm not interested in shallow talk, the whole " where are guys from?" and then trying to find common ground. My OH sharing his life stories which I've heard soo many times before. To me it is just wasted family time, to my OH it is what makes a holiday great. I dislike hotels on the whole for the same reason, I don't want to spend time with other tourists. I want to experience the place.
I'd say you and your OH are just very different people in this instance. Tell him from your perspective as it seems he only sees it from his, in which case he is probably going to misunderstand your unwillingeness as rudeness. Hope you can find a middle ground. I now let my OH have chats for a bit while I sort the kids out, or play with them, and usually 20 odd minutes of chatting to strangers will be enough for him now.

Topseyt123 · 31/03/2023 21:57

Noononoo · 31/03/2023 18:54

you can't make people do things. You can't make people love you. They have to want to. And your behaviour is not helping. It might not be fair. It might not be right. Just tell him you are really sorry for being such a selfish grump. The nicer you are the more he'll want to be with you. Now you've got to act your way out of this good luck. He's happy ...join him, be sociable don't sulk.

What a load of utter bollocks.

Why would anyone want to "act their way out of this" and bend over backwards to appease this drunken twat? Only someone with zero self respect would do that.

PogoThePunk · 31/03/2023 22:58

Noononoo · 31/03/2023 18:54

you can't make people do things. You can't make people love you. They have to want to. And your behaviour is not helping. It might not be fair. It might not be right. Just tell him you are really sorry for being such a selfish grump. The nicer you are the more he'll want to be with you. Now you've got to act your way out of this good luck. He's happy ...join him, be sociable don't sulk.

Bloody hell 🤭

ChellyT · 31/03/2023 23:04

ChangedmynameagainforChristmas · 30/03/2023 17:36

They do say holiday can make or break a relationship by testing it away from home and friends etc... Maybe this is where it ends

Yes! Don't move in with another until you've been on a long holiday with them.

CelestiaNoctis · 01/04/2023 01:21

Do you think he was trying to impress you? After you said you wanted to have children. Sounds like it was well meaning perhaps but I would hate it too

IfuWannaBmyLover · 01/04/2023 03:29

ChangedmynameagainforChristmas · 30/03/2023 17:36

They do say holiday can make or break a relationship by testing it away from home and friends etc... Maybe this is where it ends

Why are people on mumsnet so keen on breaking up relationships? Jesus Christ people have you EVER heard of conflict resolution? Talking to your partner? Letting some things go? Having some perspective on things?

Phoebo · 01/04/2023 03:34

You sound like total opposites, which can sometimes attract but I'm not sure how well that actually works out in the long run. I would seriously have a think about what you both want for the future, in the context of what the perfect weekend means for you both (or holiday) that may give you both some insight

palelavender · 01/04/2023 03:51

Well I've been happy married to the same man for 30 years. The reason for that is that I married somebody nice and would have got rid of a man who behaved like this at the earliest opportunity. This is not a top quality man worthy of further time investment. I'm sorry to say you should want better DNA for your future children.

SquidwardBound · 01/04/2023 04:32

I hope you had a nice relaxing time on the beach. And that he apologises in the morning. Profusely.

I don’t think this is a man to have children with though. Based on your description of him as needing to be the centre of attention.

The thing about having babies is that they take loads of attention. Trying to look after a small child with an egotistical wanker who feels he must be the centre of attention is unbelievably hard work. Even more so if he gets nasty to punish you for not centring your universe around him.

Pre-children you don’t always recognise what someone will be like to coparent with. So you do need to pay attention to the signs when you see them. How you describe him - even where you’re being positive about him - isn’t a description of quite extravert and sociable; it’s someone who wants to be the centre of attention and adored by everyone. You’re having problems now, under pretty ideal circumstances, and he’s thrown a tantrum because you didn’t play the adoring GF at the pool for him all day.

704703hey · 01/04/2023 05:59

Good grief - what was he like the next day?

Ohhoho · 01/04/2023 08:32

Look OP knew this guy before she went on holiday with him. She loves him wants to marry him and have children. She says he is just very friendly and happy.
We learn from bad experiences. She is unhappy because it is not the romantic holiday she expected. She is trapped. It’s not a date she can walk out of or hang up on.
if he really is an arsehole as many of you suspect then OP don’t give him the pleasure of your heartbreak, why boost his ego? Act it out, that’s not being a handmaiden that is true grit.
He’s 37 not a lad. He may feel trapped into too much intimacy well that’s another good thing you’ve learned. Keep your pride keep your dignity we’ve got your back. I’d do a lot of disappearing but don’t demand his attention never works. Be brave, keep all your options open and see how it goes.
for the moment cut your losses and have a good holiday he’ll have to work hard to get you back. keep us posted

Noononoo · 01/04/2023 09:39

nono far from handmaiden..my point was OP is trapped...and this is probably why his behaviour is so embarrassing. Some men love a captured audience ..people to show off to that can't escape.... it's either that or he's gone off her and is avoiding intimacy. Either way..unless you have a touch of diva to explain back home, and loads of money that you can leave by taxi to the airport and buy a flight, you act it out. possibly give him the benefit of the doubt hoping he will calm down soon.. otherwise what? insult him, tell him he's a selfish dickhead? spend the rest of the holiday in foul moods? that's not very clever. Keep that one till the last day if things don't massively improve.

Stopcomplainingandsortit · 01/04/2023 12:10

🤣🤣🤣 sorry, hes 37?? Challenge yourself to go down to dinner on your own, then go for a nice walk or something!! Try and make the best of the remaining holiday time with things for you. Only you know if you want to dump him or go on with the relationship!! Did you say to him you were fed up??

LovelyIssues · 01/04/2023 12:34

I'd be annoyed too OP. He sounds such a pest. I feel for you and the family

threatmatrix · 01/04/2023 14:53

I’m sorry but it sounds like he thinks you’re boring. He also needs to leave the family alone.

Notamum12345577 · 02/04/2023 00:50

End the relationship because her BF made friends?! Maybe she should talk to him about why she is upset first!

SquidwardBound · 02/04/2023 07:54

Notamum12345577 · 02/04/2023 00:50

End the relationship because her BF made friends?! Maybe she should talk to him about why she is upset first!

What about the description given sounds like the problem was just that the boyfriend made friends?

I mean, even that bit is debatable. It could possibly have been described as ‘attached himself to a family in an annoying manner’. 🤣

Phoebo · 02/04/2023 08:10

Notamum12345577 · 02/04/2023 00:50

End the relationship because her BF made friends?! Maybe she should talk to him about why she is upset first!

Of course! I was more coming from if his idea of fun is to make friends with randoms and OPs is to only have fun 1:1 (nothing wrong with either), then they might actually be quite different people. I don't think an extrovert and an introvert make a good couple in the long term unless they are both happy to spend time away from each other (again, nothing wrong with that either)

KatherineJaneway · 02/04/2023 08:24

@balconygirl What happened the next day?

Bettyboop3 · 02/04/2023 10:03

We'll probably never find out. I get far too invested in some of these threads and never hear of the outcome! 🤦‍♀️

Stewball01 · 02/04/2023 14:58

Oh dear. How horrible. If he doesn't know what's wrong with you then he's pretty thick. He wants to go home? I'd say let him but you don't want to be alone. Sounds like your relationship has run it's course. Enjoy the freedom.

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