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Original poster

Sat on my own on holiday ....boyfriend made new friends

342 replies

balconygirl · 30/03/2023 17:33

I'm on holiday with my boyfriend of 2 years.
It's meant to be a romantic holiday
Had a brilliant morning
Then he talks to anyone
He started talking to this couple with their kids
All afternoon he has chatted with them
I have sat there -he hasn't said a word
He's organising to meet them tonight and keep spaces around the pool tomorrow

I said I'm going to room to have a shower
He has stated writhed the pool with them

I'm not excited for the few days ahead now
Am I being silly ?
I don't want to spend my holiday with strangers
I'm just not that type of person

OP posts:
MrsMurphyIWish · 30/03/2023 18:18

Was he drinking when he suggested marriage and a child?

Yiayoula · 30/03/2023 18:19

Dinner alone.
Nice cocktail to follow.
Then think.
Really, really hard .

MissyB1 · 30/03/2023 18:21

balconygirl · 30/03/2023 18:00

We have had a lovely day
He's been drinking since 10
Gradually got louder and louder
Now he is really drunk and being a dick basically
This morning we were talking about trying for a baby and getting married

Well you know now that he's not a keeper! Dodge that bullet!

maddy68 · 30/03/2023 18:22

Tell him.

starfish4 · 30/03/2023 18:23

I'd go down to dinner, leave him to it. Make tomorrow your call, do what you want. Stay with him for day and if it turns into a drinking day, comfortably join in. If not either a day trip or a combination of sunbathing, lunch out, shopping- whatever you fancy.

SleepingStandingUp · 30/03/2023 18:23

balconygirl · 30/03/2023 18:09

Yeah we are all inclusive so he will be
He's now fallen asleep
So I either go down to dinner on my own or eat crisps

Why would you not go to dinner? Roll him onto his side if you're worried he'll be sick

IneedanewTV · 30/03/2023 18:25

Walk down to the town and get a drink and a pizza or whatever. Show him that you can manage without him and have a fun time. Absolutely no point sitting there watching him sleep.

Eyerollcentral · 30/03/2023 18:25

He is a prick for getting fall down drunk by 7pm. However, you were sitting around a pool, not on a tour or even a romantic occasion for two. I would be pretty annoyed if my partner sat all afternoon in silence while I chatted to the people beside us. That is really poor form on your part. You don’t have to be life and soul but seems you made zero attempt to even join in. I couldn’t go out with someone who is so anti social or indeed a prick who gets absolutely blocked before we have even had dinner. Starting drinking at 10am is a holiday novelty but to carry on all day like he is 17 and not 37 is a major turn off. You might not be that suited.

mintich · 30/03/2023 18:25

Go down to dinner. Take a book....and your room key!

Finalstar · 30/03/2023 18:27

Dinner, glass of wine or a cocktail. Try and relax and unwind a little bit.

Think about what you want to do for the rest of the week. If Mr Life & Soul of the Party doesn't wake up and grovel, then I'd be packing, in a taxi and on the first available flight home.

alyceflowers · 30/03/2023 18:27

Go and enjoy a nice dinner on your own.

Then in the morning have a serious talk with him about expectations for the rest of the holiday!

LonginesPrime · 30/03/2023 18:28

Go to dinner and try to enjoy the evening - staying in your hotel room eating crisps next to a snoring drunken dickhead will just make you feel worse.

Then tomorrow morning, while he's sleeping off the hangover, go and do some sightseeing or sunbathing or whatever and make to most of the day. Don't let him ruin your holiday any more than he already has.

cartagenagina · 30/03/2023 18:31

Definitely go and eat. Taking a book is always a useful security blanket in this situation if you’re not used to it.

Maybe you’ll meet someone nice whilst you’re out, and the holiday won’t have been a waste of time and money after all 😍

Ktime · 30/03/2023 18:35

Dump him. Speak to the hotel, ask if they have a spare room as boyfriend is a drunkard.

siucra · 30/03/2023 18:36

My exh was like this. He is a narcissist who needed strangers to think he was charming and funny, when really he was a nasty alcoholic. I would treat the rest of the holiday as a chance for you to make plans to leave. You need someone reliable and mature. Not this twat.

Original poster
balconygirl · 30/03/2023 18:37

I was speaking to the people but not ott like him
He was in the pool playing with the kids then offering them upgraded drinks as we have the gold band
Just being too much
It wasn't just 10 mins it was hours
I'm going to get ready and go for food then sit on the beach (the hotel is on the beach so no walking far) and watch the sunset

OP posts:
Sallyh87 · 30/03/2023 18:37

Dinner, a good book and a glass of wine would be my advice. Try to have a nice time. Be mad at him tomorrow.

SecretSwirrel · 30/03/2023 18:40

I echo what others have said along the lines of you not being enough. He may be trying to make you feel like you are not important to him.

My ex also did similar on holiday once. He regularly tried to make me feel insignificant.

Your DP may just be highly sociable but if he isn’t paying you much attention too then that’s a massive RED FLAG

Merryoldgoat · 30/03/2023 18:40

This is who he is.

Learn the lesson now and move on.

category12 · 30/03/2023 18:40

balconygirl · 30/03/2023 18:37

I was speaking to the people but not ott like him
He was in the pool playing with the kids then offering them upgraded drinks as we have the gold band
Just being too much
It wasn't just 10 mins it was hours
I'm going to get ready and go for food then sit on the beach (the hotel is on the beach so no walking far) and watch the sunset

Good call.

Let him sleep it off and tomorrow discuss things calmly.

Is he often like this?

Bunnyhascovidnoteggs · 30/03/2023 18:43

Please make sure you don't get pregnant op. He is a class A prat and you really won't change him. People under the influence of alcohol do imo become their true self..

NotAHouse · 30/03/2023 18:46

Clearly I'm the only one thinking this, but... How old are the kids?

IncompleteSenten · 30/03/2023 18:47

Never marry someone who's a nasty drunk. Big big mistake.
Sorry he's being an arsehole.

Choconut · 30/03/2023 18:50

He's shown you who he is now what are you going to do about it? I can't quite believe you were talking about marriage and kids after the day you had yesterday! I think you might be one of those that will still be on here in 10 years time, married with two kids, moaning on and on about how he said he'd change.

katseyes7 · 30/03/2023 18:50

I had similar on the last holiday with my ex husband. Except it wasn't other people so much, it was a 'couples only' resort, and he kept leaving me on my own on the beach.

He booked for the scuba diving course (I wasn't allowed to do it because of a medical condition) - spent two days training in the pool, and the rest of the first week out on the dive boat.
Two of the other couples we'd made friends with kept coming over to check if l was okay, they actually said "Has he left you on your own again?!"
Later on, l had what was either a stomach bug or food poisoning. I was stuck in the room for four days with D&V, couldn't eat a thing. Even if l'd been able to, he didn't offer to bring me anything to eat.
We'd booked to go on a couple of excursions, he announced he was going on his own. Until he came back, he'd told the tour guide that l was ill, and they insisted he reschedule so we could go together later in the week.
When we went on one of the trips, the tour guide passed round a microphone, asked each couple to say who they were, where they were from, and if it was a special holiday, say honeymoon or anniversary. He thought he was being funny,, and said "We're XXX and YYY, and we're here before we get divorced."
I just sat there thinking "Go on, they think you're an idiot already, you've just proved it now."
We'd been home less than a week and he announced he wanted a divorce because l'd 'made no effort whatsoever' while we were away (ignoring the fact that he'd left me on my own for the best part of the holiday and l'd been ill).
I'd wanted us to break up for a long time, but he'd refused. This was the catalyst.
Maybe it's time to think about your relationship, OP. You may well be better without him. I certainly am.