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Original poster

Sat on my own on holiday ....boyfriend made new friends

342 replies

balconygirl · 30/03/2023 17:33

I'm on holiday with my boyfriend of 2 years.
It's meant to be a romantic holiday
Had a brilliant morning
Then he talks to anyone
He started talking to this couple with their kids
All afternoon he has chatted with them
I have sat there -he hasn't said a word
He's organising to meet them tonight and keep spaces around the pool tomorrow

I said I'm going to room to have a shower
He has stated writhed the pool with them

I'm not excited for the few days ahead now
Am I being silly ?
I don't want to spend my holiday with strangers
I'm just not that type of person

OP posts:
mummydoorgirl · 30/03/2023 20:16

he is just going OTT IMO, chatting fine and if you happen to bump into them in the hotel bar and it organically turns into drinks fine but arranging more is odd. Considering you are doing a couples thing and they are on a family holiday. It would be different if you'd got talking because you all had kids and the kids were entertaining each other and that arrangement was a benefit to all. It just sounds like he is pushing himself onto them at your expense.

MinnieGirl · 30/03/2023 20:18

balconygirl · 30/03/2023 19:52

He just loves people
He loves people thinking he is great
He doesn't have a nasty bone in his body
He just wants people to think he's great
He's done this before with couples etc

What do you mean he doesn’t have a nasty bone in his body?!
Hes been nasty to you all afternoon…
You have been totally ignored and are having to eat in your own because he’s drunk…
Not nasty? Come on…

mummydoorgirl · 30/03/2023 20:18

I don't think we can diagnose him a narcissist because he is drunk and overly sociable

JeannieAlogy · 30/03/2023 20:20

balconygirl · 30/03/2023 19:52

He just loves people
He loves people thinking he is great
He doesn't have a nasty bone in his body
He just wants people to think he's great
He's done this before with couples etc

I'd suggest he has been a bit nasty given that he's
A. Ignored you
B. Made plans that don't include you (or at least don't appear to do so)
C. Got drunk
D. Told you you're the problem

NalafromtheLionKing · 30/03/2023 20:22

DanceMonster · 30/03/2023 17:34

They probably wish he’d piss off so they can get back to their family holiday!

My thoughts exactly.

Mixkle · 30/03/2023 20:23

I’m so sorry OP.

A man who starts drinking at 10am, ignores you for hours then has a go at you when you’re obviously feeling neglected is not good husband (or holiday companion!) material. 😔

IsaiditwasLighthearted · 30/03/2023 20:23

canyon2000 · 30/03/2023 19:57

He is prioritising people thinking he is great over what makes you happy. He won't change.

Sums it up.

knittingaddict · 30/03/2023 20:23

Your partner sounds like my holiday nightmare.

Went on a holiday with my fairly new husband many years ago. We had very little money, but managed one nice meal out. A lone man at the next table would just not stop talking to us and ignored all hints that we weren't interested. I suspect he had some problems of his own, but ruined a rare night out.

I don't go on holiday to make friends with people I will never see again.

Mixkle · 30/03/2023 20:23

IsaiditwasLighthearted · 30/03/2023 20:23

Sums it up.

Show quote history

Yes. Classic narcissist. Wants everyone to be impressed with him and gets angry with you if you don’t play along.

Topseyt123 · 30/03/2023 20:26

I totally understand. I would feel exactly the same as you.

The very last thing I would want to do is socialise much with random strangers on holiday. That would be my idea of hell. Fortunately, my DH is much the same. We do talk politely to other people and enjoy the odd little chat, but just a few minutes here and there. It is OUR holiday and that is how it remains. If I were you I would be telling your partner this in no uncertain terms.

Also, does your partner not realise that what he was doing to this other family could come across as intrusive!? I would personally have viewed some random drunk muscling in on any of our family holidays as an unwanted intruder. I might have begun by being polite, but by the next day would have made clear that I wanted to avoid him and have our own personal space back. The politeness would not have continued and the message would have been clear and unequivocal - back off!!

TuesdayJulyNever · 30/03/2023 20:32

He could be the loveliest man ever but he wouldn’t be a good match for me. I want a life partner who cares more about me than the opinions of strangers, who wanted to spend time with me, and who has me on his radar.

What do you want op?

I spent my college years trying to be more fun, more extrovert, trying to build up my alcohol tolerance so I wasn’t perceived as a “dry shite”. And then I came to my senses and started prioritising people who liked me for who and what I was and eventually I managed to build enough self esteem to find the really good men.

If you want to find a good partner, you need to ruthlessly declutter the not-good-enough-for-me ones, and not hope you’ll change them. As my granny used to say: you can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear.

mindutopia · 30/03/2023 20:41

This poor family who doesn’t want some drunk knobhead loitering around their children on holiday.

StillWantingADog · 30/03/2023 20:50

Sounds awful. Bit of a chat is ok but not full on ignoring you.

holidays really can make or break. A couple of crap holidays with my ex and I knew I was done. Booked a holiday really soon after meeting dh and we had a great time (despite a big fallout trying to park the hire car! ) and I knew he was a keeper.

try and have a nice holiday whatever he is doing . And dump him when you get back.

cushioncovers · 30/03/2023 20:50

Yep again my ex was just like this. Wants adoration and praise from everyone but those closet to him. Move on op he won't get any better.

Newyearnewhome · 30/03/2023 20:54

Merryoldgoat · 30/03/2023 20:00

Read that again.

Thats not a description of a person who doesn’t have a nasty bone in their body.

That’s a description of a man who wants to be centre of attention to the detriment of his partner’s wellbeing.

Show quote history

I agree @Merryoldgoat - my exH used to do this. Whole days having to make conversations with randoms or people he vaguely knew because they’d once chatted in the pub.

as it transpired, my ex only did it for the adoration of other people. Loved people saying what a great bloke he was and meant he could churn out the same shit stories about how great he was.

I thought he ‘didn’t have a bad bone in his body’ but turns out he’s a toxic narcissist who can’t stand criticism.

I only realised the connection reading your post OP.

this guy is a walking red flag.

Lampshadeandchristmasbaubles · 30/03/2023 20:54

Love, he’s ADHD

Therealjudgejudy · 30/03/2023 20:56

I feel sorry for that family.

Glad you are going down for dinner op.

Your partner sounds like an attention seeker

menopausalbloat · 30/03/2023 21:02

You've been with him for two years. This should be the best time, the honeymoon period.
Are you really contemplating having a family with this person?

jenny38 · 30/03/2023 21:02

Sounds like he's over done the all inclusive drinks. No way if reasoning with him until he's sober. If your idea of a nice holiday is not drinking from 10 then you need to let him know. Relationships are about compromise, even if that means agreeing on a time for first drinks of the day! I'm sure you can work it out together. And drop the random, go put your towels in a different area tomorrow morning and start fresh.

Justforlaffs · 30/03/2023 21:08

He sounds absolutely exhausting and like my worst nightmare.

I can't stand "Look at meeeeeee!" type people - I'd be willing to bet anything this other family wish he would piss off as well. He sounds like he has low self esteem, trying to buy friends, offering upgraded drinks etc - embarrassing.

Thank goodness you've seen this side of him before you marry and have children with him....as surely that will not be happening now if you have any common sense?

Justforlaffs · 30/03/2023 21:09

Newyearnewhome · 30/03/2023 20:54

I agree @Merryoldgoat - my exH used to do this. Whole days having to make conversations with randoms or people he vaguely knew because they’d once chatted in the pub.

as it transpired, my ex only did it for the adoration of other people. Loved people saying what a great bloke he was and meant he could churn out the same shit stories about how great he was.

I thought he ‘didn’t have a bad bone in his body’ but turns out he’s a toxic narcissist who can’t stand criticism.

I only realised the connection reading your post OP.

this guy is a walking red flag.

Show quote history

Bang on the money.

twolilacs · 30/03/2023 21:10

Lampshadeandchristmasbaubles · 30/03/2023 20:54

Love, he’s ADHD

No, he's TWAT

BelindaBears · 30/03/2023 21:10

I would hate this. I don’t understand grown ups who make holiday friends.

I’d sack the lot of them off and lie by myself with a book but I’m a grumpy old woman so…

Aquamarine1029 · 30/03/2023 21:14

If you have any sense whatsoever, you will be thankful you saw him in this light and then then run for the hills. He's a fucking creep.

Peachy2005 · 30/03/2023 21:14

Dump him when you get home…or the rest of your life will be different versions of this crap!!

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