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Original poster

DH to be doesn’t want a wedding ring.. at all?

213 replies

4EyesandBigThighs · 21/03/2023 13:21

Anyone roses DH not wear a wedding ring?

DP doesn’t want one at all, we get married this year. At first I thought it was because he works a manual labour job; so suggested a silicon ring and perhaps have a metal actual wedding ring put up sage and wear occasionally?

but he doesn’t want one at all and that’s thrown me a little. I mean, realistically it’s just a ring - but I liked the thought of seeing him with a ring on, that symbolisation that we are married maybe?

or am I just being silly?

OP posts:
Procrastination4 · 22/03/2023 16:30

in 34 years of marriage, my husband wore his wedding ring once, and that was on the day of our wedding. He was an electrician at that time with our national energy supplier and had seen accidents involving wedding rings. He never got into the habit of wearing it, even when he moved into senior management later on. He still doesn’t wear it though he’s retired now. We’re still happily married so it didn’t really matter. I wear my wedding and engagement and eternity rings all the time though. I think they’re safer on my fingers than in my jewellery box!

Penniless · 22/03/2023 16:32

Neither DH nor I have ever had wedding rings. To be honest, in your husband’s shoes, I’d be a bit put off by your insistence I wore some piece of jewellery against my will. It sounds like a flipped version of the kind of ghastly male dinosaurs who want their wives to use their surnames because — ‘Tradition!’ More like territory marking.

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 22/03/2023 16:35

I've been married for 23 years, OP. I haven't ever worn a ring, and DH doesn't wear one either. Neither of us want to. It doesn't mean that we aren't 100% committed to each other still!

I don't really wear rings in general tbh. I just don't like the feel of them.

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Alainlechat · 22/03/2023 16:35

I wouldn't mind my DH not wearing a ring. Equally if he did not want to I would not wear mine either.

notangelinajolie · 22/03/2023 16:35

My DH has not got a wedding ring and him having one never came into conversation. I can't imagine him ever wearing jewellery, even a wedding ring. My dad didn't have one either.

Recycledblonde · 22/03/2023 16:38

We’ve been together 37 years and married for 33, DH has never had a wedding ring and has managed to remain faithful. I thought I wanted him to have one initially but soon grew out of that.

Mutabiliss · 22/03/2023 16:43

My dad's never worn one. My mum had hers cut off when pregnant with me (40 years ago) and never got it fixed, although she does wear another ring on her wedding ring finger sometimes. Mostly not though, she gardens a lot so rings get in the way.

They've been together 45 years and seem quite content, I don't think rings mean anything at all. How many people take their wedding rings off to have an affair 😂

Cakeorchocolate · 22/03/2023 16:56

Mine doesn't have one. I would have liked him to but he won't wear any jewellery, a wedding ring was no exception.

Makes me value mine less though. I forget to put it on more than I ever think to!

ImSweetEnoughDarlin · 22/03/2023 16:56

My DH didn't want one but I managed to convince him to have one for the ceremony and to keep/pass down, so he did, and it lives in a drawer.

ImSweetEnoughDarlin · 22/03/2023 16:57

ImSweetEnoughDarlin · 22/03/2023 16:56

My DH didn't want one but I managed to convince him to have one for the ceremony and to keep/pass down, so he did, and it lives in a drawer.

For comparision, mine hasn't been off my finger since he put it there.

MrsAvocet · 22/03/2023 17:02

My DH wears one. I don't. I never wear any rings and very rarely any other type of jewelry.
Happily married for over 30 years. I wouldn't care if DH didn't wear his.

SadMadGlad · 22/03/2023 17:08

I don't wear mine but my hubby wears his every day

toomuchfaff · 22/03/2023 17:09

Having been a nurse and seen a degloving I do not challenge anyone with a manual labour job when they don't want to wear a ring... get a tattoo?

MushMonster · 22/03/2023 17:17

I think there is a massive difference between him not wearing one daily and him not having one!
I think he needs one for the wedding!
Then if he has a manual job or it bothers him in any other way, he does not need to wear it. Mine does not. But I rather have him come back home with all his fingers than with the ring on.
I mostly wear mine, but most of the time no all of them and there are periods where I leave them at home. I wear gloves for work and they can break them. Sometimes my skin can get irritated if I do not wash soap off properly from underneath the rings. And I do not wear them to wash up.
He is not botheted about how much I wear them. I am not bothered about him.
But not having one at all... I do not know....

Lastnamedidntstick · 22/03/2023 17:22

MushMonster · 22/03/2023 17:17

I think there is a massive difference between him not wearing one daily and him not having one!
I think he needs one for the wedding!
Then if he has a manual job or it bothers him in any other way, he does not need to wear it. Mine does not. But I rather have him come back home with all his fingers than with the ring on.
I mostly wear mine, but most of the time no all of them and there are periods where I leave them at home. I wear gloves for work and they can break them. Sometimes my skin can get irritated if I do not wash soap off properly from underneath the rings. And I do not wear them to wash up.
He is not botheted about how much I wear them. I am not bothered about him.
But not having one at all... I do not know....

Why?

neither dh or I have rings. It’s fine.

what’s the issue with not having one?

Penniless · 22/03/2023 17:23

MushMonster · 22/03/2023 17:17

I think there is a massive difference between him not wearing one daily and him not having one!
I think he needs one for the wedding!
Then if he has a manual job or it bothers him in any other way, he does not need to wear it. Mine does not. But I rather have him come back home with all his fingers than with the ring on.
I mostly wear mine, but most of the time no all of them and there are periods where I leave them at home. I wear gloves for work and they can break them. Sometimes my skin can get irritated if I do not wash soap off properly from underneath the rings. And I do not wear them to wash up.
He is not botheted about how much I wear them. I am not bothered about him.
But not having one at all... I do not know....

Why on earth buy a token ring for an optional 30-second bit of a wedding when it will never be worn again?

MushMonster · 22/03/2023 17:27

Well, because traditionally there is the ring exchange part and a ring bearer, the rings have the date of the wedding in, they get worn for special occassions, they get passed to family members (I wore a family one for a while and I loved it)
There are very cheap ones, by the way. It does not need to be made of gold. Actually, if you look into other metals, there are lots of beautiful designs.

QueenofallIsee · 22/03/2023 17:30

Though I agree it doesn’t mean anything nefarious your husband doesn’t fancy it, I sympathise with you as I love seeing my husband wearing his ring. I am proud to be his wife and I am glad there is an outward symbol of that, though I wouldn’t have made a fuss if he had chosen not to wear one. My grandfather didn’t wear one and quite a few of our friends don’t. It’s not uncommon. I won’t say that you are unreasonable to feel as you do though

PatsyJStone · 22/03/2023 17:39

I understand and my soon to be husband has chosen his ring and will mostly be wearing it.
He's worn one before at work so don't anticipate any issues.
Why not suggest one for the ceremony and he may wear it at weekend, on holiday & special occasions.

Lastnamedidntstick · 22/03/2023 18:27

MushMonster · 22/03/2023 17:27

Well, because traditionally there is the ring exchange part and a ring bearer, the rings have the date of the wedding in, they get worn for special occassions, they get passed to family members (I wore a family one for a while and I loved it)
There are very cheap ones, by the way. It does not need to be made of gold. Actually, if you look into other metals, there are lots of beautiful designs.

Traditionally brides were virgins and promised to obey their husbands, only moving out of their dad’s home and in to their marital home after the wedding.

did you stick to those traditions as well?

traditions are bollocks. I didn’t want rings, we didn’t have them. No one arrested me for not sticking to tradition.

Letty186 · 22/03/2023 18:29

My DH does wear a ring and like OP, I like the public symbolisation. Traditionally men didn’t have wedding rings as the gentry were more likely to wear signet rings on their little fingers which wouldn’t have worked with a wedding ring and if from ‘lower classes ‘ be involved in more manual work

Echobelly · 22/03/2023 18:32

My brother doesn't have one, as he never wears jewellery. DH has one but doesn't always wear it. Quite a lot of men don't, either because they don't wear jewellery or they worry too much that they'd lose it!

sparkles82 · 22/03/2023 18:43

My husband has one and worse it up until we came back from honeymoon. That was 13 years ago and hasn’t been out since. He does a manual job though and I would rather him not lose his finger in a machinery accident (we know someone this happened to)
It’s quite a modern tradition anyway. Can’t say I knew any men wearing rings when I was growing up in the 80’s/90’s.

sparkles82 · 22/03/2023 18:43

Silly typo - he wore it!

Johnisafckface · 22/03/2023 18:46

It would bother me too, but wearing or not wearing a ring is not an indication of how committed he is to you so I guess I'd get over it. (Altho it would make me a bit sad from time to time)

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