If you found out you had a half sibling

[Aphrathestorm]

I was talking to a friend yesterday and I said my DF was in his late 30s when he had me so it's not beyond imagination that I could have an older half sibling out there somewhere. Especially as he lived in different places.

I'd be really interested in meeting them. I'm an only child and would love that link to someone else.

But my friend said she wouldnt want to know! That she wouldnt feel any connection and would t want the disruption to her family dynamic.

So who's view is most typical.

I thought most people would be at least curious?

I wouldn't be especially interested in meeting them. I'm adopted, and I've never had the slightest inclination to track down my birth family. I don't really believe shared blood or DNA means anything.

I do like meeting new people so if anyone like this tracked me down I wouldn't refuse to meet them, absent any red flags. But I wouldn't expect automatic closeness and I'd find it strange if they did. True closeness and intimacy takes much longer to build up and you can't force it.

If they approached me, I'd agree to meet, just out of curiosity, but I wouldn't actively pursue a relationship.

I have numerous full siblings who I see once or twice a year. They are more than enough. 🙂

I found out about my half sister when I was 11. I then contacted her when I was 20 and we have a strong relationship. My other 3 siblings have no interest in meeting her

My dp found out he had another cousin last week, his uncle had fathered a child nobody knew about - his cousin discovered his half sibling via dna on a database, the older generation have all died and thankfully everyone is very laid back about these things now.

It’s very interesting to see how many would have no interest. My children have a half sibling who we have no contact with and a few people have told me I should try to find a way to get in contact (for certain reasons I chose not to do this) and a few people have told me my kids will be angry at me when they are older that I didn’t try to find a way to ensure they had contact but it seems most adults wouldn’t be interested which is reassuring! I wouldn’t be either…

My half brother turned up in my kitchen when I was about 8 .

It never bothered me although we don't have much of a relationship.

The family I was born into were bad enough, without finding out there were more of them! No, I wouldn’t want to meet them. Too much drama would come from it and I like the quiet life now.

I was adopted and found out a few years ago that I have 3 half-siblings. I have met them and like them, but we didn't grow up together so there is no basis to be really close. My husband found out last year that he has a half-sibling, knows who it is and has no desire to meet them. To each their own.

I’ve got 4 out there.

Two from my mum, two from my dad. I did know my mums children but I went NC 20 years ago and have no desire to see them again (my mum does 35 years ago, they were pretty awful to me, I was just a child and they were adults).

Never met my dads two kids, they were in their late 20s/early 30s when I was born. No desire to either.

I’m the only child of my parents.

This is exactly how I feel. My own siblings (well half but grew up with them) are awful wouldn’t want to meet anymore of them they can stay away!

DH, the product of a youthful liaison and an only child, found out through one of those sites that his father went on to marry and have a large family.
He contacted one half sibling, who responded that she wasn’t interested.

I was very disappointed for him, as he was hoping for some family information and most especially for a few insights into his father, rather than in developing any close sibling relationships.
It seems that the majority would respond as she did, which I found very surprising, but then, as an adopted person, I was keen to contact birth family members, especially siblings.

My two grown up DC have half siblings that they've always known about.

Their dad left just before DC2 was born and then married again. He's had very little to do with 'my' DC and as a result, they want nothing to do with him - or their half siblings.

It's actually really sad.