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Original poster

If you found out you had a half sibling

187 replies

Aphrathestorm · 20/03/2023 08:01

I was talking to a friend yesterday and I said my DF was in his late 30s when he had me so it's not beyond imagination that I could have an older half sibling out there somewhere. Especially as he lived in different places.

I'd be really interested in meeting them. I'm an only child and would love that link to someone else.

But my friend said she wouldnt want to know! That she wouldnt feel any connection and would t want the disruption to her family dynamic.

So who's view is most typical.

I thought most people would be at least curious?

OP posts:
RuthW · 20/03/2023 12:07

I would be very interested

Marblessolveeverything · 20/03/2023 12:09

I know of one - no interest in ever meeting or learning anything about them. They are not my family.

Okigen · 20/03/2023 12:12

My parents divorced when I was little and my dad then moved on to have 2 sons.
I'm not interested in meeting them at all. In my mind, family = the people whom I grew up with, not the people bound to me by blood.

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Families
OhmygodDont · 20/03/2023 12:23

Purplecatshopaholic · 20/03/2023 09:42

My partner is in this position - something like 14 as far as he knows.

Show quote history

Either we are related or likely sadly there’s more than one man getting many many women pregnant.

When I was little and I’m now in my 30’s he had around 13 children then so yeah 😅 I doubt he stopped.

Toddlerteaplease · 20/03/2023 12:24

Paesano · 20/03/2023 08:08

I would be interested to meet them. A continuing relationship would only work though if you actually got on and had a connection.

Same here. But I'd be very angry that I haven't been told the truth all the way along.

blooer · 20/03/2023 12:34

I have one. Have never met her and no interest in doing so. I believe she knows about me, so the feeling must be mutual.

Tootsey11 · 20/03/2023 12:37

I found out I had a half brother. Couldn't make up my mind if I wanted to meet him, then he was killed.

Ifnottodaywhen · 20/03/2023 12:52

I have two half siblings (at least) I've never met. Usual story, my mum got pregnant young and he buggered off. I've no real interest in meeting them, and even if I did, I wouldn't try and find them because there's a high chance they don't know about me. If they contacted me though, I think my curiosity would get the better of me. I'm quite different to my (half) siblings I grew up with so it would be interesting to see people with the other half of my genetics.

Cassiusclay · 20/03/2023 12:54

I know I have at least 1 younger half sibling from my dad's side. I've known about them since I was a child (he left when I was a preschooler) and have no interest in meeting them. I deliberately stay off DNA sites so I can't be traced. I also grew up with a younger half sibling on my mum's side and their 'halfness' is not even a consideration, they're just my brother.

ButteryNuts · 20/03/2023 13:03

I met them. They were a child and I'd just turned 18 so we didn't develop much of a relationship. I wish them a merry christmas/happy birthday but that's about it.

Isthatarealname · 20/03/2023 13:07

If they were my dads I wouldn't be bothered, I think I would if they were my mums, I would just be too intrigued.

CoffeeWithCheese · 20/03/2023 13:07

One I grew up with whom I forget about the "half" element of. Two I've never met, known about the existence of for most of my life and never had any particular urge to try and track down - via a father I've got minimal memory of as well so I don't really have the link that way either.

Easy for those of you without fragmented families to make judgements about how those who do have them should be thinking and doing though.

TwoBlueFish · 20/03/2023 13:17

My DH found out he had a half sibling a few years ago. His mum and dad split when he was about 5 and his mum purposely severed all contact. When his DM died he found the names of several of his dads relatives. Went on ancestry, found an uncle who then told him he had a sibling . Searched FB and found him very quickly. They haven’t met yet but are glad they found each other. DH was very angry at his mum for keeping it all from him.

shieldmaiden7 · 20/03/2023 13:23

I found out I have 2 younger siblings that my birth mother had. One is only 18 months younger than me. I have no intention of meeting them or having them in my children's life. If they ever contacted me I would have no interest in communicating with them. I was the only child that was adopted and I know it would leave me with to many unanswered questions and unearth feelings I buried a very long time ago.

housemaus · 20/03/2023 14:27

Recently got in contact with a parent's half siblings (there are a few of them). They're all lovely and very friendly, so I'm glad we did. If I found out I had half siblings, I'd want to meet them out of interest if nothing else.

DontGoJasonWaterfalls · 20/03/2023 17:31

I found out about one. Conceived in secret while my mother was having a difficult pregnancy with my younger brother, who died shortly after birth. My parents went on to have two more children together afterwards.

He had taken his own life about 6 months before I found out about him. Wouldn't have wanted to meet him anyway.

Olaftree · 20/03/2023 17:34

I’m an only child too. Would love a half sibling. Hopefully a sister 🤣

Hotpinkangel19 · 20/03/2023 17:43

Snozzlemaid · 20/03/2023 08:25

I have a half sister who I've never met - well not as my sister.
I think I have met her though in another context.
Searching around between ancestry and Facebook I'm pretty sure I've found her.
But I'm scared to contact her about this as our dad split from her mum when she was very young and as far as I know had no contact with her after. So she won't have any positive feelings towards him and therefore probably won't want to know me.

I was exactly the same, I actually messaged one of them after my/our Dad died. One I keep in touch with by Facebook and the other isn't interested which is also fine.

Bunnyhascovidnoteggs · 20/03/2023 17:45

Olaftree is your df called David?
Would that be enough to declare us half dsis's??

asblackasmysoul · 20/03/2023 17:48

I have several half siblings from my father's side. One I know, three I have never met.
Also have a lovely half sibling on my mother's side.
Be careful what you wish for...

Comii9 · 20/03/2023 17:48

It's easier for me to imagine because I do have full and half siblings. It depends on the dynamics of things... but it worked in our family well all but 1. My mum and my half sister didn't really gel well and on my part I've tried but there's a 10 year gap and it just has never really stuck our bond.

The other sibling though.. we all got on brilliantly so it really just depends on personalities too.

DibbleDooDah · 20/03/2023 17:49

I think I would have to put myself in the shoes of the other person. I honestly don’t know if I would feel the need to find them (I’d cross that bridge when it came to it).

What if that half sibling had been adopted though and wanted to find me as the only connection to a biological family they have? To them my existence could fill a hole in their life and help them come to terms with things. It doesn’t mean to say we would become close, but I would want to give them a connection.

Highfivemum · 20/03/2023 17:54

I think it all depends on the circumstances. If you had a rubbish dad or mum I doubt you would be interested. On the other hand if it was a sad tale of your mum or dad being forced to give up a sibling you may be interested.
for me I would love to meet any family as sadly I only have one DB and no contact with any others. I am older and could face it now. Sometimes is it all about timing.

Puppers · 20/03/2023 18:00

I have half siblings from my dad's first marriage. We can go years without speaking and even then it's a catch up at Christmas because we all feel obligated. So I doubt that I'd be curious to meet half siblings on that side that I'd not previously known about. I wouldn't be horrible though and if they wanted to connect (not in an intense way) then I would. I know that for some people who haven't known one of their parents, meeting siblings is significant to them.

However that's largely all because my dad's a shit and therefore doesn't fulfill any kind of unifying role in our lives. I think I would feel very differently if I was close to my dad and would probably be enthusiastic. Trying to imagine a situation where DH had a knock on the door from a child he hadn't been aware of (they'd have to be at least late teens). He's not an arsehole so would of course welcome them into his life and I'm sure our kids would want to get to know them too. But that's because they love their dad to bits and would feel a connection through him I imagine.

anon37484291918 · 20/03/2023 18:03

I have 3 half siblings and looking to meet them.