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Original poster

If you found out you had a half sibling

187 replies

Aphrathestorm · 20/03/2023 08:01

I was talking to a friend yesterday and I said my DF was in his late 30s when he had me so it's not beyond imagination that I could have an older half sibling out there somewhere. Especially as he lived in different places.

I'd be really interested in meeting them. I'm an only child and would love that link to someone else.

But my friend said she wouldnt want to know! That she wouldnt feel any connection and would t want the disruption to her family dynamic.

So who's view is most typical.

I thought most people would be at least curious?

OP posts:

crumpet · 20/03/2023 08:03

I wanted (and did) meet them. My brother was not interested and refused

Nimbostratus100 · 20/03/2023 08:04

lots of people I know have half siblings that they have no contact with - best left like that in most cases, why would you feel any sort of contact with a complete stranger? Most families have more than enough issues without deliberately adding to them

chipsandpeas · 20/03/2023 08:05

i wouldnt be interested

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Families

Riverbiscuits · 20/03/2023 08:06

I found out I had two after my dad died and I’m not interested.

WimpoleHat · 20/03/2023 08:06

I think the “link” comes from having known someone all your life - having those shared memories and experiences. So meeting someone as an adult is a wholly different proposition, whatever the genetics involved. So I wouldn’t be bothered, in that sense - either to meet or not to.

Paesano · 20/03/2023 08:08

I would be interested to meet them. A continuing relationship would only work though if you actually got on and had a connection.

Sarahconnor1 · 20/03/2023 08:09

I do have a half sibling, I've met them twice, years ago. I might be odd because I don't feel a link at all, we have no shared history or shared memories as reference points to form a connection. They are stranger to me, they just happen to share some DNA.

lemoncurdcrumpets · 20/03/2023 08:09

I would want to meet them. I don’t understand how anyone wouldn’t be curious and want to.

Quartz2208 · 20/03/2023 08:09

My Nan wasn’t interested. Her father left when she was 3 and she never tried to find out what had happened after. He was a young man (21) so the chances were he had. Her mum found him 18 years later to get a divorce and she never asked at all what the situation was.

she died at 90 in 2020. Last year we decided to do some DNA testing as my kids were interested.

She has 4 half siblings

Quartz2208 · 20/03/2023 08:11

oh and within this my mum has contact with one half sister (another half sister died of dementia before Christmas) and two cousins.

My uncle wants nothing to do with it

romdowa · 20/03/2023 08:14

I'd definitely meet them. I don't have a relationship with my full sibling and I'd quite like another chance at having that relationship. It's very very doubtful though that there is any half siblings out there.

AltitudeCheck · 20/03/2023 08:21

I found out when I was 14 or 15 that I had a half sister, my mum had been pregnant at 17 and her daughter was adopted. She met and married my dad over a decade later. She was forced to tell us by my dad who was holding it over her in a very acrimonious separation. It's never been talked about since.

While I am massively curious as to the circumstances and the impact on my mum I don't feel any need to meet my half sibling as she'd be a stranger to me. I would be happy to meet though if she did ever get in touch.

containsnuts · 20/03/2023 08:21

It can create an odd family dynamic. I've got a half brother who recently found out he has another half sister. I have nothing to do with that relationship, we're not related at all. DM slipped out once that my brother said something about his sister and I had a brain fog moment thinking 'me'?. It's a weird feeling.

PeekAtYou · 20/03/2023 08:22

I wouldn't be interested.

Eyesopenwideawake · 20/03/2023 08:24

I found my half siblings a few weeks ago - flew out to California to meet them and they couldn't have been more welcoming; I have a massive new family.

Smarshian · 20/03/2023 08:24

I found out I had a half sister as a teenager. She has recently got in touch with my (our) dad. I have no desire to meet her. I just don’t feel any connection to someone I have nothing to do with.

BeStrongLittleRodney · 20/03/2023 08:25

I would be too shocked to make a decision to meet or not.

Snozzlemaid · 20/03/2023 08:25

I have a half sister who I've never met - well not as my sister.
I think I have met her though in another context.
Searching around between ancestry and Facebook I'm pretty sure I've found her.
But I'm scared to contact her about this as our dad split from her mum when she was very young and as far as I know had no contact with her after. So she won't have any positive feelings towards him and therefore probably won't want to know me.

Konfetka · 20/03/2023 08:25

From my own experience a shared upbringing is what creates siblings, not shared genes.

OhmygodDont · 20/03/2023 08:26

Nope. I have many half siblings dotted around. I’ve not a tiny bit of interest in ever meeting them. We share some dna from a useless feckless man that’s all we have in common.

skippy67 · 20/03/2023 08:27

I found out I have 2 half siblings a few years ago. Zero interest in meeting them. Especially as the "father" we share left my mum when she was pregnant with me, and went on to have another family.
So, to those people who say they don't understand why you wouldn't want to meet half siblings, that's my reason.

Danikm151 · 20/03/2023 08:28

I have 2 half siblings who I have never met.

they grew up with my father and I didn’t. To try and meet them would rock the boat for them too much so I haven’t bothered as it would be unfair on them. I don’t even think they know about me.

skippy67 · 20/03/2023 08:29