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Grandparents 45 minutes away.. how often would you think they’d visit?

128 replies

Anothernewname13 · 18/03/2023 09:13

The in-laws are a 45 minute drive from us, they used to be local but chose to move there. We have two very young children and that’s their only grandchildren. Admittedly we don’t go to their house that often but feel as there’s just two of them to jump in the car it’s much easier for them to come to us. We’d happily go to meet them for days out or somewhere half way for a soft play, lunch etc but they have literally never asked.

They only visit about once every 2 months. When both babies were newborn they landed themselves on us for 4 hour visits (without offering to help or bring anything) multiple times in the first couple of weeks but then they go months without seeing the kids. They expect our youngest to be able to call them grandma/grandpa but she has no way of knowing who they are as she sees the lady at the checkout in Tesco more often! They’ve made a couple of digs about them seeing my parents a lot (our oldest mentioned his other grandpa while they were there as he’s obsessed by him!) yet they don’t make any effort to see them more. Would you expect them to visit more or do some grandparents just do this?

OP posts:
HappyDreamer · 04/02/2025 21:53

sanityisamyth · 04/02/2025 21:45

Why did you reply to an 18m old thread?

I thought I started a new thread to be honest with you!!

Newboymummy2025 · 28/05/2025 10:04

Hi,
we currently have a 4 month old and live with my mother and father in law. I’m finding it very difficult with the fact that they see him everyday and are always there whenever we walk into another room of the house and they have to speak and try and interact with him. I love them to pieces and glad they get a close relationship with him, but feel some days I want it to just be myself and my husband he sees? Does that seem unfair? Just struggling to set the boundaries and how to word it to them so I can keep sane! I don’t want to cause any upset but it feels a bit suffocating some days. Any advice would be great!

Tourmalines · 28/05/2025 10:41

Newboymummy2025 · 28/05/2025 10:04

Hi,
we currently have a 4 month old and live with my mother and father in law. I’m finding it very difficult with the fact that they see him everyday and are always there whenever we walk into another room of the house and they have to speak and try and interact with him. I love them to pieces and glad they get a close relationship with him, but feel some days I want it to just be myself and my husband he sees? Does that seem unfair? Just struggling to set the boundaries and how to word it to them so I can keep sane! I don’t want to cause any upset but it feels a bit suffocating some days. Any advice would be great!

Start another thread of your own . But to answer your question. Move out . You will realise how ridiculous you sound in a few years .

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