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Original poster

Would you go to a friend's birthday even if you HATED the activity?

192 replies

YourPastryNeedsLard · 13/03/2023 09:09

Just that really!

A friend has chosen a particular activity for her forthcoming birthday. It's something I absolutely hate. My idea of hell on earth. I can't communicate how much it fills me with dread.

Would you still go? I indicated I couldn't make the date and she started talking of changing to a different date. So I need to tackle the issue head on...

OP posts:
Velvian · 13/03/2023 09:11

You know that everyone will just ask you what the activity is until you relent. 😅

Thatwastheweekthatwasnt · 13/03/2023 09:11

Be direct and say you are more than happy to join in celebrations but you know you won't enjoy this activity and wish her a lovely day.

gamerchick · 13/03/2023 09:12

What's the activity? If we knew, we can maybe suggest a way you can still go but opt out.

Isthisexpected · 13/03/2023 09:12

If it was something like go ape I'd go but offer to take photos as hate heights now I'm older. If it was shooting clay pigeons I wouldn't go because of a hearing condition. So it depends! I definitely wouldn't just say I was unavailable though I'd tell the truth if it was something I genuinely couldn't face.

Augend23 · 13/03/2023 09:12

Nope, I'd be honest and say "thanks so much for the invite but I'm afraid it's really not my cup of tea. I'd love to brunch/lunch/go for a drink sometime to celebrate your birthday instead though!"

OxygenthiefexH · 13/03/2023 09:13

No. I’m a grown up and wouldn’t do something I hated. I’d wish her well and see her afterwards.

Original poster
YourPastryNeedsLard · 13/03/2023 09:14

It's a "rave bingo" event described as being raucous...

OP posts:
BruceAndNosh · 13/03/2023 09:14

Is it something that you can attend but not take part like indoor rock climbing?
Or something you can't, like white water rafting or a spa experience?

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 13/03/2023 09:14

Depends. If it was Go Ape and I was scared of heights no.

If it was sthg like crafting and I'd be terminally bored, yes would go to be nice.

UsernameNotAvailableNow · 13/03/2023 09:14

I despise paintballing. If it was that, I would just be honest and wish them a merry time of it

lunar1 · 13/03/2023 09:15

No I wouldn't, and no decent friend would except me to. I've spent a lot of years trying to stop being a people pleaser.

Salverus · 13/03/2023 09:15

Yes I would. But I'll probably be in the minority as I don't mind doing something new rather than sitting at home on my phone.

nc1013 · 13/03/2023 09:15

It depends on the activity and why you don't want to go.

To me it would need to be something major to stop me going and making an effort to show my friend I cared even if I didn't join in. One friend wanted to go paddle boarding....I went along with a picnic and watched.

Is it something you can go to without joining in?

MrsSkylerWhite · 13/03/2023 09:16

No, I wouldn’t.

SirChenjins · 13/03/2023 09:16

Rave bingo sounds hideous - it would have to be a very good friend for me not to have a stomach bug that night.

Kittensat36 · 13/03/2023 09:17

I did a dance class for a friend's birthday. Forgot my shoes and couldn't master the steps. Enjoyed the rest though.

WandaWonder · 13/03/2023 09:19

It depends I won't skydive, scuba dive, bungee jump type thing for anyone but would happily go and support as long as people did not do that forcing thing 'you have to try '

But a normal 'not my thing' I would give a go

LesserBohemians · 13/03/2023 09:19

No, it wouldn’t even occur to me to go.

Shekissedagirlandshelikedit · 13/03/2023 09:20

Rave bingo actually sounds quite fun. I'm quite surprised myself that I wrote that 😆

My idea of hell is anything physical like go ape, tough murder etc

bubbles2023 · 13/03/2023 09:21

Yes I would.

Shekissedagirlandshelikedit · 13/03/2023 09:21

Tough mudder! Not sure what tough murder would entail 😮

Soproudoflionesses · 13/03/2023 09:23

I qould have done ten years ago but now l would say not my thing bit would offer to take her out for lunch or something

DelurkingAJ · 13/03/2023 09:23

I wouldn’t any longer. Paint balling for me is the obvious equivalent. I’d meet everyone for a meal or a drink before or after instead. Or just take the birthday girl out!

LadyMargaretDevereux · 13/03/2023 09:24

If it's really what your friend wants to do then she will have to get a bunch of others to do it with her. It's like if I wanted to go to the opera at Covent Garden for my birthday, I wouldn't want to go with people who spent the whole time looking uncomfortable or rolling their eyes at each other, I'd choose friends who would enjoy it alongside me.

HareintheBluebells · 13/03/2023 09:24

Depends- I wouldn't do a bungee jump but I'd suggest that I come along and hold the coats/take photos or whatever.

Not entirely sure what rave bingo is but it sounds hideous. Nevertheless for a good friend I join in and make the best of it. For an acquaintance, I'd say no.