Would you go to a friend's birthday even if you HATED the activity?

[YourPastryNeedsLard]

Just that really!

A friend has chosen a particular activity for her forthcoming birthday. It's something I absolutely hate. My idea of hell on earth. I can't communicate how much it fills me with dread.

Would you still go? I indicated I couldn't make the date and she started talking of changing to a different date. So I need to tackle the issue head on...

I wouldn't go. I would understand if someone didn't want to come to something they didn't enjoy.

Just be honest with her.
It's not your thing and you'd rather bare your bum in Wilkos window.😳

No, I wouldn't go to that and I would tell my friend honestly that it's not my sort of thing. In fact, I recently turned down an invitation to a relative's birthday celebration for similar reasons and I offered to take him to dinner instead.

However, I'm autistic and my friends/family are used to me bowing out of anything I class as "shenanigans". Rave bingo definitely falls under the shenanigans category

Don’t go if you are going to sit there like a miserable prick. Going might actually do you good and you might actually enjoy yourself. It wouldn’t be my scene but fgs make a bit of an effort, it’s one night. There are so many people on here unwilling to try anything even slightly outside their comfort zones, if you aren’t capable of doing that without being a miserable sod, don’t do it. No one will miss you at it if you don’t go but you could ruin everyone’s night if you do.

I’m an introvert with an overactive cringe muscle and rave bingo sounds like a cruel and unusual punishment. That said sometimes stuff you think you’re going to hate ends up being a laugh and you won’t be the only raver with fear in your eyes. Strippers make me want to run away but one of the most unexpectedly funny things I’ve ever seen happened at a hen-night strip-show, still laugh twenty years later.

There are so many people on here unwilling to try anything even slightly outside their comfort zones

Or perhaps we have already tried this sort of stuff when we were younger and know we hate it. And are far too old to be peer pressured by people calling us miserable.

That is breathtakingly rude.

Lol no way. I'd be like ... Oh I'm busy

How?

I was going to say YABU until I googled and found Bongos Bingo…

FFS

Absolutely not…I would genuinely rather go paintballing up north in January (and I’m a soft southerner who has only paintballed once 30 years ago)

I'm baffled by the idea that the two options I've presented are "go and be a miserable prick" or not go.

I'm capable of going and joining in. I just do not want to. And do not want to sound to my (lovely) friend somehow superior as if it's beneath me. I don't want to hurt her feelings. But don't want to go at all.

I've decided I'll not go. I'm comfortable with that. The thread has been interesting and useful. Thank you.

😂Exactly! Jeez, answering the door is a massive imposition to half the people on MN!*

OP, I would go because I'm more than happy to put myself out for a friend. You might enjoy it - and if not it'll likely become a funny story to tell.

• Which I'm sure is the reason why half the people on here say they don't have any friends. I can't say I'm surprised, to be honest. Rigidity isn't a trait that most people seek in their friendships...

And yes it's Bongo Bingo.

If I could sit at the sidelines and cheer people on, and organise snacks etc. I'd do it. But this is not that kind of activity.

To say breezily that 'it's not your cup.of tea' and suggest something else. Better to make up an excuse as to why you can't go. Simple manners really.

My friendship group would be fine with anyone opting out of something they didn't want to do. Personally I'd be happy to meet a friend for lunch if they didn't want to ice skate or whatever it was I was choosing for my 50th birthday.
Your friends sound a bit different, which is fine too.

Yes, I'd go. Friendship is more important than activity preference. Hence the amount of god awful karaoke things I've been to.

That sounds like absolute hell. I would decline.

I said no to going to Karen's diner followed by Kareoke for my BFs birthday. She hasn't spoken to me since. I offered to take her out for lunch on another day instead.

She's not spoken to you since. So you probably really offended her.

I'm not sure I'd want to spend a lunch with someone who couldn't bear to come to my party for no other reason than they didn't like the idea of it to be honest, unless they were a super close friend who was going through some difficulties (which did actually happen to me recently).

If it’s like a Bongos Bingo, no not my thing at all but I’d suck it up.
Something like a theme park or hot air balloon ride or something with heights I’d just say a flat no

I'd drive so can make a quick exit

@worried4698643 I've been to a Karen Diner for another birthday. It was horrific. I wasn't even one of the people "picked on" so there was no personal mortification but the whole thing was just awful. With the bingo thing, I would more likely end up with one of the dares and I'd be the centre of attention (and photos doing something vulgar on demand).

It's not something I would choose to do, but I'd go along if it was being organised by a friend, because that would be the enjoyable part - having a laugh and being part of an activity with friends.

Describing it as 'hell on earth' or 'my actual worst nightmare' for something so benign is a bit of an overreaction. Did you mistake the activity for cave diving or heliskiing or something?

@BarbaraofSeville We are clearly all different. Heliskiing, cave diving is just suck up as a "friend wants to try it" thing. Riding a giant inflatable penis? Hell on earth.

Its taken me a while to realise I really dislike Spa's. Boring, involve sitting or swimming in lukewarm water for ages or being inside the same boring hotel for 48 hours. I now duck out. I would equally dislike Bongo Bingo. Love clubbing just not enforced fun.

Now that I would just suck up and go. You play a game of bingo and you can dance if you want to. If you don't it's just like being in a bar so just chat