Would you go to a friend's birthday even if you HATED the activity?

[YourPastryNeedsLard]

Just that really!

A friend has chosen a particular activity for her forthcoming birthday. It's something I absolutely hate. My idea of hell on earth. I can't communicate how much it fills me with dread.

Would you still go? I indicated I couldn't make the date and she started talking of changing to a different date. So I need to tackle the issue head on...

Yeah…my thought initially was ‘it’s a good mate, I don’t actually mind bingo for nostalgia reasons so I’d suck it up’

Then I looked at their website.

Being coralled into having ‘fun’ by a load mouthed bloke and surrounded by dancers in drag so poor it’s really not worthy of the name, calling themselves names such as ‘Wet Wendy’…

Not in a million years.

Bongo's Bingo? Been invited to that numerous times, declined every time. Not my idea of a good time.

Oh good god, it looks hellish!

I would definitely decline and ask to take her out for a meal or to a movie or something.

”Raucous” = definitely not for me

I've never been to one before, but it would be a big no from me🤣

Gawd that sounds horrendous.

I'd pass

I just looked up 'Rave Bingo' .... jeeeeeezus, I wouldn't go either, sounds shit.

Tell your friend it's not your cup of tea and arrange an afternoon of paint balling or base jumping instead?

Why?

better to be honest than just saying you can’t make it, when she might reschedule to facilitate your attendance! This is supposedly a friend, presumably they can speak frankly to one another?

No, I wouldn't. I went on a hen do that had a pole dancing lesson element and I pretended to have to work so that I could miss that bit.

No. I’d say, ‘I love you, but this is my idea of hell. Can I take you out for lunch another time?’

What a strange opinion.

Absolutely not

Yes I expect it seems strange if you don't understand good manners.

You have a really odd understanding of good manners.

@LesserBohemians

surely it would it that person was your friend?

do you always just please yourself ?

no judgment - just curious!

@dittbtdity

its not OP’s birthday though is it?
op can have paint balling or whatever when it’s her birthday
what op wants doesn’t take precedence on this occasion

@CatJumperTwat

how so?

its not OP’s birthday though is it?
op can have paint balling or whatever when it’s her birthday
what op wants doesn’t take precedence on this occasion

if op really can’t bring herself to go to the rave bingo she should make up an excuse rather than trying to steer her friend towards another activity. It’s called being a good mate and not spoiling it for them

No, I'd not attend.

Yes I would. Well, unless it was something terrifying like sky diving but then I would just join for a drink/meal afterwards.
I think it is important to invest in your friendships and sometimes that means putting yourself out or doing an activity you don't enjoy.

@YourPastryNeedsLard

when I went there was no sex toys as prizes and no dares
you’d be with your own little group of pals on a table so therefore you call do what you want

Anything that doesn’t involve getting cosy in pyjamas with hot choc and your own “little family” is a no go for a lot of mumsnetters it seems!

I would always have said yes, but then I went to an event a few years back for a friend's birthday - to see a performer that I didn't know.

It was (to me) a lot of money - £75 for the ticket, plus the cost of splitting birthday girl's ticket. Plus costs of actual event (quick meal, drinks and cab home). Ended up not even seeing the birthday girl as she sat with other friends, didn't enjoy the performer especially and vowed to think twice about doing something like that again as it was a complete waste of £150 - £200 to me.

Yes you are 100% correct, I was being sarky😁😂. My point is she can say no!!!

Are you sure no judgment?

You do sound a tiny bit like you are judging.

@EarthlyNightshade

no judgement - I quite admire it in a way!

If it was something I disliked I'd go. If it was something that made me ill like boats/rollercoasters etc or if it was something I disagreed with morally like strippers then no.