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Original poster

Would you go to a friend's birthday even if you HATED the activity?

192 replies

YourPastryNeedsLard · 13/03/2023 09:09

Just that really!

A friend has chosen a particular activity for her forthcoming birthday. It's something I absolutely hate. My idea of hell on earth. I can't communicate how much it fills me with dread.

Would you still go? I indicated I couldn't make the date and she started talking of changing to a different date. So I need to tackle the issue head on...

OP posts:

Doesthepopeshitinthewoods · 14/03/2023 10:57

Just looked at the website, it looks like a shabby theatre with ticker tape, lots of women jumping up and down clutching bottles of Blossom Hill and a load of unfortunate looking men in wigs dancing on stage with a Henry vacuum cleaner.

What the fuck? 😆

thedogsmum · 14/03/2023 11:14

Just looked it up online, it's hell on earth, I wouldn't go either but I get it's hard to tell your friend you'd hate it without sounding critical of her choice. Can you say it's the noise? You may not be the only one who doesn't want to go, so maybe she could reconsider.

LlynTegid · 14/03/2023 11:27

It would depend on the activity. I'd decline promptly if I did not want to go.

LoveBluey · 14/03/2023 11:40

Would depend on how much I disliked the activity and how much money/hassle it would cost me to do. I wouldn't pay out a fortune and arrange childcare / take time off work to do something I didn't want to but if it was fairly cheap and I could go without too much complication I'd probably try my best to give it a go.

crosbyrose · 14/03/2023 11:46

YourPastryNeedsLard · 13/03/2023 09:54

It's definitely in the "I would hate it and feel horribly uncomfortable" category.

Prizes are sex toys. If you get the lowest score on your table you have to do a dare, chosen by the host, if a buzzer goes off, you must conga. Etc.

I'm no introvert. Have no sensory issues. It's just absolutely something I'd hate.

None of this has ever happened any time I’ve ever been to Bongos Bingo! What you’ve described sounds awful. Bongos is one of the best nights out. It’s just drinking, dancing and having fun with your friends. Nobody has to do anything they don’t want to do!

Elphame · 14/03/2023 11:47

Rave bingo sounds like hell on earth to me ( I googled it).

I would decline politely and suggest we go out for lunch instead another day. In reality no friend of mine would ever suggest such a dreadful thing!

LadyYsabellDuchessofStoHelit · 14/03/2023 11:56

I'd make an excuse if I didn't feel I could straight up say "not a chance in hell".

If it was just bingo and an Ann summers type of thing I'd suck it up and make the best of it but drag queen's, forced fun and participation is way beyond not being my cup of tea. I'd hate every minute of it and spend the whole time dreading being the one picked on to participate which would spoil it for everyone else. I personally find men parading around like an over pornified stereotype of a women offensive so wouldn't go for that reason alone.

Luckily for me I'd have a valid reason of strobe lights and rave music triggering migraines so I'd use that as a reason to stay away.

Ihaventgottimeforthis · 14/03/2023 12:07

I had a fab time at BB - drinking, dancing on tables, singing, bit of bingo, no simulation of sex acts or ritual humiliation at all. But it is loud and raucous and intense so if it's not your thing, there's not really a chance to sit and chat. I imagine it would be incredibly tedious if you weren't drunk and keen to join in.
Similarly if one or two people aren't there, they wouldn't even be noticed.

So my suggestion is say 'oh god that's my idea of hell I don't want to rain on your parade I will meet you for pre-drinks and a bit of dinner then let you all go and have fun, here's a set of party hats for you all'.

Similarly I would probably decline a visit to Karen's Diner as it sounds truly shit, or a pamper/massage/make-up session or whatever.

WolfFoxHare · 14/03/2023 12:12

Doone21 · 14/03/2023 10:47

Suck it up, it's just a personal dislike not a phobia. No one is going to accept you weaselling your way out. She's your mate so tell her you'll go and make sure she enjoys herself. In fact take paracetamol first. Have a few shots to take the edge off the evening and you never know you might just unclench enough to have a little fun.

Fuck. That. Shit.

No way in hell would I go to this. Luckily none of my friends would either.

purplecorkheart · 14/03/2023 12:18

I would not go to anything I would be dreading going to. I would be honest with your friend and tell her that it is not your cup of tea and you do not want to spoil the evening for everyone else. If they are meeting before it for a meal etc and it is nearby I would go to that.

Other than that offer to take her to dinner/lunch/afternoon tea etc some other time.

Lonelykettleshed · 14/03/2023 12:18

Apologies, I haven't read the full thread. Can you not just say that it isn't your thing but that you would love to take her out for lunch/go for a drink on another day to celebrate.

LuckySantangelo35 · 14/03/2023 12:37

Bongos bingo is BRILLIANT

have a few shots before you go, you’ll have a right laugh

ignore those on here who think anyone over 27 years of age should be tucked up at home in pyjamas

Deadringer · 14/03/2023 12:51

If she is a really good friend and I really couldn't face the activity I would be honest and tell her. I would make sure to do something really nice together instead, something you both like.

Chikapu · 14/03/2023 12:52

Gear up for a night of Bingo complete with non-stop party anthems, lip-sync battles, dance-offs

That's the description of rave bingo, it's a no from me.

Deadringer · 14/03/2023 12:57

Chikapu · 14/03/2023 12:52

Gear up for a night of Bingo complete with non-stop party anthems, lip-sync battles, dance-offs

That's the description of rave bingo, it's a no from me.

Not my cup of tea but I would probably go. Better than high wires, strippers or paintballing anyway imo.

Oblomov23 · 14/03/2023 13:09

I didn't even know what Rave Bingo was. Had to look it up. I would go to nearly everything for a friend. My best friend has makings earrings, as the first part of her hen, wouldn't be my choice, but I went with the right frame of mind.

Doesthepopeshitinthewoods · 14/03/2023 14:02