Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Do children belong in a "fancy" restaurant?

333 replies

Puttingchildrenfirst · 24/02/2023 10:30

Hello All!

I'm looking for people's thoughts on children in high end restaurants.

For context we were invited to a very high end restaurant this weekend (think £150 a head set tasting menu fine dining place) to celebrate a family members birthday (less than a weeks notice).

We have a toddler and a new baby so I declined as soon as I looked the restaurant up as I knew we couldn't organise childcare and husband was on call that night (needs to be near home).

Family wanted me to still come and bring the children but I declined as I really couldn't imagine wrangling a hungry toddler (no children's menu) and trying to latch a baby on while the couple on the next table celebrate their wedding anniversary!

I'll be honest I was also thinking of a popular thread on AIBU here recently where people were commenting on the behaviour of young children in a cafe at an aquarium. The consensus there was children shouldn't be in any sort of fancier restaurants!

However family think we're being overly precious to not bring the kids (and therefore not attend) and another thread yesterday had posters recommending a mum took her 8 month old to a 3 Michelin star restaurant.

If you were sat next to 2 kids under 3 at a very expensive restaurant... what would you be thinking?

OP posts:
Ostryga · 24/02/2023 10:31

Depends on the restaurant. Most will not allow children under a certain age.

Newborns - fine as long as they are quiet and not screaming. Toddlers and young children that parents cannot control should not be anywhere near a restaurant I’m about to drop £500+ for a meal.

Arthurflecksfacepaint · 24/02/2023 10:34

No.

And I have three of my own. If it’s a high end restaurant then people don’t want to be hearing children.

I would be thinking that I’d gone there for a break from my own toddler and would be slightly annoyed.

KittyTitty · 24/02/2023 10:34

High end restaurant or not I stopped taking mine when they were very small to eateries. I realised after a couple of times it was just not fun. And they were actually well behaved compared to some restaurant horrors I’ve seen in my time.

It’s usually the mum getting stressed whilst everyone else tucks into their meals, relaxed and generally only offering tokenistic help. Not for me.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
Liorae · 24/02/2023 10:34

I'd be asking to be moved as far away as possible. If not possible I would leave, and make it clear to management why I was doing so.

AnneLovesGilbert · 24/02/2023 10:34

Depends on the child and the restaurant. I don’t think toddlers need kids menus.

ZeroFuchsGiven · 24/02/2023 10:34

If you were sat next to 2 kids under 3 at a very expensive restaurant... what would you be thinking?

Honestly, I would regret booking. If I walk in a restaurant and see kids I ask to be sat as far away from them as possible.

ComtesseDeSpair · 24/02/2023 10:34

Would it be acceptable for me and my friends to get drunk and then come and boisterously play on the equipment in a children’s playground at 2pm on a Sunday afternoon, ruining it for the children the playground was designed for?

Most people would say not. Likewise, I’d say it’s not appropriate for people to bring noisy, fractious and energetic small children to an expensive restaurant to ruin the experience of the diners it exists for.

Arthurflecksfacepaint · 24/02/2023 10:36

KittyTitty · 24/02/2023 10:34

High end restaurant or not I stopped taking mine when they were very small to eateries. I realised after a couple of times it was just not fun. And they were actually well behaved compared to some restaurant horrors I’ve seen in my time.

It’s usually the mum getting stressed whilst everyone else tucks into their meals, relaxed and generally only offering tokenistic help. Not for me.

This.

It’s more hassle than it’s worth with some toddlers. My two year old would end up upset and stressed and so would I.

Original poster
Puttingchildrenfirst · 24/02/2023 10:36

Arthurflecksfacepaint · 24/02/2023 10:34

No.

And I have three of my own. If it’s a high end restaurant then people don’t want to be hearing children.

I would be thinking that I’d gone there for a break from my own toddler and would be slightly annoyed.

Oh absolutely, if you've shelled out a fortune on a babysitter for a once in a blue moon fancy meal!

OP posts:
MrsSkylerWhite · 24/02/2023 10:37

Very much depends on the child. Both of ours were reliable in restaurants from a young age.

Original poster
Puttingchildrenfirst · 24/02/2023 10:38

KittyTitty · 24/02/2023 10:34

High end restaurant or not I stopped taking mine when they were very small to eateries. I realised after a couple of times it was just not fun. And they were actually well behaved compared to some restaurant horrors I’ve seen in my time.

It’s usually the mum getting stressed whilst everyone else tucks into their meals, relaxed and generally only offering tokenistic help. Not for me.

The thought of the stress alone would put me off my food!

I can just imagine the daggers in my back if we rolled up with the double buggy and a box of crayons!

And you just know it won't be a speedy meal either!

OP posts:
YetAnotherSpartacus · 24/02/2023 10:40

Hell, no.

KittyTitty · 24/02/2023 10:42

@Puttingchildrenfirst

And it won’t be your family members feeling stressed I can assure you. They might feign sympathy but they don’t care. They’re too busy enjoying their food and relaxing.

Original poster
Puttingchildrenfirst · 24/02/2023 10:42

Ostryga · 24/02/2023 10:31

Depends on the restaurant. Most will not allow children under a certain age.

Newborns - fine as long as they are quiet and not screaming. Toddlers and young children that parents cannot control should not be anywhere near a restaurant I’m about to drop £500+ for a meal.

This is the pain in the backside, I actually called the restaurant and they said, "we don't technically ban children however we are a fine dining restaurant experience". Eg. Do not bring your small children!

I was hoping they would say no kids under 10 or 5 or whatever to absolve me from blame!

OP posts:
SalviaOfficinalis · 24/02/2023 10:43

I absolutely wouldn’t take my toddler, it would be far too stressful.

If I left my toddler at home and was paying £150 for a fancy meal I really wouldn’t want to be sitting near someone else’s toddler and baby, sorry.

Of course if they were some kind of unnatural angel child with meticulous manners and you didn’t even notice they were there it would be fine. But not many children are like that.

Hope551 · 24/02/2023 10:43

No. I always figure if there is no kids menu, then they are not meant to be there. Also I'd hate to spend 150 for a meal I can't enjoy panicking over toddler and newborn haha. If it was expected for children to be at the place then they would be catered for.

goodsea · 24/02/2023 10:44

Sleeping new born maybe depending on circumstances and precisely which restaurant etc, toddler i wouldn't (especially if in the evening).

Now my kids are older I might as they behave well and eat well but most places say no under 12s in the evening anyway. It also massively increases the bill as on the occasions we have taken them to somewhere fancier with a set menu they get charged the set price too.

Bunbuns3 · 24/02/2023 10:45

The whole world would say yes! Child hating UK ONLY would say no!

WandaWonder · 24/02/2023 10:45

If there was a kids menu I would assume it's OK

BUT kids old enough to sit still and not be noise than adults talking normally

I don't want noisey kids or adults in proper restaurants

Meifly · 24/02/2023 10:46

Mine is a toddler but has always been fine in fancy restaurants, she was happily eating Rosti in creamed spinach sauce for her first birthday haha

Obviously you know your children and if they're likely to enjoy the food , run around or get bored etc.

qpmz · 24/02/2023 10:46

Ostryga · 24/02/2023 10:31

Depends on the restaurant. Most will not allow children under a certain age.

Newborns - fine as long as they are quiet and not screaming. Toddlers and young children that parents cannot control should not be anywhere near a restaurant I’m about to drop £500+ for a meal.

You can't guarantee a newborn won't cry! so I don't believe you when you say they're fine to take!

JennyTheDonkey · 24/02/2023 10:48

I think you've done the right thing OP

RedToothBrush · 24/02/2023 10:48

AnneLovesGilbert · 24/02/2023 10:34

Depends on the child and the restaurant. I don’t think toddlers need kids menus.

This.

Child menus should be scrapped and restaurants should have 'lighter bites' options available instead for both adults and children.

FlounderingFruitcake · 24/02/2023 10:48

If they can behave and not disturb other diners then they’re fine to be there. But obviously that’s a very big ask for a toddler, especially if it’s dinner so past bedtime. Mine have been to a lot of nice restaurants but lunch service only and even if there isn’t a kids menu advertised, I’ve never come across a restaurant that couldn’t do something paired down for younger ones e.g. whatever meat is on the menu (often filet steak) with mash. I wouldn’t do dinner though because I know mine get tired and that’s a recipe for disaster.

Eastereggsboxedupready · 24/02/2023 10:49

The thing is the daggers from diners won't be aimed at the ridiculous relatives telling you to take the dc...
I would def be fuming if I had gone out and saw you op!