Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Do children belong in a "fancy" restaurant?

333 replies

Puttingchildrenfirst · 24/02/2023 10:30

Hello All!

I'm looking for people's thoughts on children in high end restaurants.

For context we were invited to a very high end restaurant this weekend (think £150 a head set tasting menu fine dining place) to celebrate a family members birthday (less than a weeks notice).

We have a toddler and a new baby so I declined as soon as I looked the restaurant up as I knew we couldn't organise childcare and husband was on call that night (needs to be near home).

Family wanted me to still come and bring the children but I declined as I really couldn't imagine wrangling a hungry toddler (no children's menu) and trying to latch a baby on while the couple on the next table celebrate their wedding anniversary!

I'll be honest I was also thinking of a popular thread on AIBU here recently where people were commenting on the behaviour of young children in a cafe at an aquarium. The consensus there was children shouldn't be in any sort of fancier restaurants!

However family think we're being overly precious to not bring the kids (and therefore not attend) and another thread yesterday had posters recommending a mum took her 8 month old to a 3 Michelin star restaurant.

If you were sat next to 2 kids under 3 at a very expensive restaurant... what would you be thinking?

OP posts:
Mumoffairy · 28/02/2023 18:48

It really depends on the children though doesnt it? Ours have been cominng to restaurants withbus since they were newborns. They were the kind of babies that just slept all the time in the pram.
I always made sure they were fed right before we left, so that i didnt have to latch them in the middle of dinner. I always brought a bottle of pumped milk with me just in case.
As they got older we adjusted. Tbf we did eat out a lot less at age 1.5-3ish, because thats the most hectic time and eating out isnt as enjoyable. After they were old enough to entertain themselves though. We would bring quiet toys like coloring books and those one player thinking games with us and we still do that now (they are 7 and 8).
They manage to sit quietly for 2-3h and they dont bother anyone else in the restaurant 🤷🏻‍♀️

riceuten · 21/05/2023 18:38

"...Children shouldn't be in any sort of fancier restaurants!"

Depends on the restaurant, depends on the child, depends on the child's behaviour, and I've seen perfectly well behaved toddlers and babies in all sorts of restaurants. Having a small child is not a "get out of jail free" card for uncontrolled behaviour. Most people will understand a crying baby or even a gringey toddler. Most people will be all judgey pants on you however if your child tears around the restaurant on their scooter, or comes over to your table demanding food (I've seen both). Or if the child is crying and the parent(s) are too busy with their phones (seen that as well) to deal with them.

To be honest, I'd USUALLY take my guide from the restaurant - a restaurant with a tasting menu is probably not going to be baby or toddler friendly, but there's no harm in asking as you did.

I've been in high end restaurants (admittedly in France) where they were absolutely fabulous with small kids and cooked what was asked for for them (and didn't charge for it!) and even helped entertain them. Italy, Croatia, and Serbia as well. It's a cultural thing

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
Britpoplady · 09/10/2023 21:06

you could ask that about adults to though

many kids behave and many dont
may adults behave and many dont

funny how no one ever asks this about dogs..

its sad kids are valued so little but dogs are put on a pedestal

and i for one would not want a dog in a restaurant for all the obvious reason’s

Britpoplady · 09/10/2023 21:08

Totally this

but uk is the only place in the world were even well behaved kids in restaurants have less value then badly behaved adults and dogs

its so sad

Britpoplady · 09/10/2023 21:10

Strange rule

considering..

many under 12s are behaved way better then most adult’s

Britpoplady · 09/10/2023 21:10

Sooner have a child near me behaving badly then any dog or drunk adult thanks.

But hey it’s so easy to attack kids.

Wednesdaysotherchild · 09/10/2023 21:12

Definitely no kids until they can behave and dine/sit quietly. No loud adults either tbf.

Coyoacan · 09/10/2023 21:23

If I were to run my life according to mumsnet, I would be paralysed.

coxesorangepippin · 09/10/2023 21:33

Over aged ten and well behaved

Other than that, no, never

iLoveFood94 · 09/10/2023 21:37

I don't think they don't belong in fancy restaurants but I'd only take my baby if I knew he would be good. I know baby's are baby's but I'd be embarrassed if my little boy acted up and caused havoc.

Mum2jenny · 09/10/2023 21:40

Did have our 2 dc in a posh place like this without a children’s menu and they were fine. Posh mushrooms in a filo basket and fancy pasta with a seafood sauce. They loved it and at the time they were under 10 years old

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 09/10/2023 22:43

No way I’d take them. Quite apart from anything else you’d probably have to pay a bomb for food they don’t like and won’t eat.
I know they’re not all like him, but my toddler Gds was a human hurricane - he’d not have ‘sat nicely’ for more than about 3 minutes.

Rudderneck · 10/10/2023 02:05

I didn't take my kids to places like that when they were little, too stressful. Plus who wants to have to take them out after playing tat much?

That being said, I loved going to places like that from the time I was about 4, and I behaved very well. So some kids can do it from a younger age. Not all parents are good at judging that though.

Chippy1234 · 10/10/2023 09:30

Definitely definitely not. What newborn or even a toddler is going to appreciate a restaurant with a tasting menu that will probably go on for 2 hours plus. Please dont inflict this on other diners. I would hate to be sitting next to you.

Sorry but we have had two situations over the years in high end places where parents are clueless (one was the Fat Duck). You are in for 3 hours plus. Parents at next table with kids probably 6-8 years old werent great. No they were running around but one of the spat out their food and the other was just on their IPAD. They looked bored senseless. What a waste of money for the family as the place is very clear. No kids menu. Kids pay adult pricing.

CrotchetyQuaver · 10/10/2023 09:45

First time my DC went to a posh place for lunch they were 4 and 5 ish. My parents wanted them to be there and it was their idea.
We did a fair amount of prep before about what was on the menu (one very fussy eater who would howl if there was a salad garnish on her plate), best behaviour expectations etc and it went well, they were very good girls and enjoyed it.
I think that's a world apart from some disinterested parents who zone out get pissed and let their kids run riot whilst other people are trying to enjoy their expensive fancy meals.

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 10/10/2023 09:50

Suppose you want to be in a restaurant at night with no DC? Are you really that wrong to want that to happen?

Sunday lunch in a pub, kids acceptable. Family friendly restaurant like Frankie and Benny, kids acceptable.

I don’t generally want to go to eg Quaglinos and see children eating there, at night. No matter how well behaved they are.

Maddy70 · 10/10/2023 10:19

I wouldn't take mine. Its far too stressful. Tasting menus ate usually quite stuffy and you wouldn't enjoy it and frankly its not fair to those others that have paid a lot of money to have it spoiled by children

Chippy1234 · 10/10/2023 11:24

Thing is most people say there children are beautifully behaved, loved the fancy food, other diners complimented on them etc. But the reality is that its completely wasted on them and I dont believe people who are perhaps out for dinner' au deux' are spending times admiring the behavior of other people's children.

I also went this weekend to a very interesting place in London where the cooks are in the middle of you and people sit on stools in a horseshoe. Only 30 or so covers. There is no room to swing a cat and it was very popular. Highly recommend but a couple came in with a buggy and wanted some stools for themselves and said child would manage on one too which was very doubtful. They stood by the door and the Manager gently told them that the place wasnt really set up for a buggy and kids. The Father started complaining it was not right to not cater for them and stomped off saying that they had lost his business. This is honestly what I mean - CLUELESS

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 10/10/2023 11:33

@Maddy70 and @Chippy1234 - well thank goodness both of you have common sense and aren’t entitled!

I think at a push, teenagers (under age 16) would enjoy and appreciate a posh restaurant. I wouldn’t even mind them using phones there (slightly irritating but adults do it too) but no iPads please.

@Chippy1234 , I just can’t imagine a child still in a buggy would enjoy this restaurant you went to, seems like the parents here can’t be bothered to get a babysitter or worse, just assume a child can rock up with them! No concern for the child’s safety who’s doubtfully balancing on a stool.

I think restaurants these days are so afraid of offending people (including the Insta idiots who film their entire meal) that most managers say nothing but good on this manager for speaking up, even though he offended the entitled father.

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 10/10/2023 11:36

Chippy1234 · 10/10/2023 11:24

Thing is most people say there children are beautifully behaved, loved the fancy food, other diners complimented on them etc. But the reality is that its completely wasted on them and I dont believe people who are perhaps out for dinner' au deux' are spending times admiring the behavior of other people's children.

I also went this weekend to a very interesting place in London where the cooks are in the middle of you and people sit on stools in a horseshoe. Only 30 or so covers. There is no room to swing a cat and it was very popular. Highly recommend but a couple came in with a buggy and wanted some stools for themselves and said child would manage on one too which was very doubtful. They stood by the door and the Manager gently told them that the place wasnt really set up for a buggy and kids. The Father started complaining it was not right to not cater for them and stomped off saying that they had lost his business. This is honestly what I mean - CLUELESS

Most other diners especially in posh restaurants are silently cringing and not happy (not seething) when seeing children there, no matter if they’re well behaved etc. I’m definitely not complimenting children if I’m there for a romantic meal and it’s definitely wasted on children.

On holiday, Italy etc, family run restaurants in Italy etc with children, of course this is fine as generally the children and parents know how to behave.

Chippy1234 · 10/10/2023 11:39

God I am on a roll now. A few months ago went to the Royal Shakespeare Company and saw As you Like It? Didnt really like it myself and was non the wiser when I left as to what it was about (but that is just me I guess!).

In my eye line were a couple with two children around about 7-9 years old. They were awfully fidgety and one yawned their way through the performance.

Parents were blissfully unaware of the kids reaction and will probably boast that they took their children to a RSC production and they LOVED it!

Lovethatforyouhun · 10/10/2023 11:41

Depends, most parents encourage running about screaming and ipads- so no.

Some children sit beautifully and eat food that isn’t chicken nuggets- so yes.

Personally if we are talking 3 star Michelin Id consider lunch, not dinner.

Chippy1234 · 10/10/2023 11:41

Yes, Italy etc are different. I think it must be because often people are sitting outdoors rather than in an enclosed restaurant with others.

GettingStuffed · 10/10/2023 12:25

I would say it depends on the child. I'd happily take one of my grandchildren as he can be relied on to sit quietly without any form of electronic entertainment, he'll happily chat to the adults. I wouldn't do it with the others as you'd have to tie them to the chairs to stop them running around.