Do children belong in a "fancy" restaurant?

[Puttingchildrenfirst]

Hello All!

I'm looking for people's thoughts on children in high end restaurants.

For context we were invited to a very high end restaurant this weekend (think £150 a head set tasting menu fine dining place) to celebrate a family members birthday (less than a weeks notice).

We have a toddler and a new baby so I declined as soon as I looked the restaurant up as I knew we couldn't organise childcare and husband was on call that night (needs to be near home).

Family wanted me to still come and bring the children but I declined as I really couldn't imagine wrangling a hungry toddler (no children's menu) and trying to latch a baby on while the couple on the next table celebrate their wedding anniversary!

I'll be honest I was also thinking of a popular thread on AIBU here recently where people were commenting on the behaviour of young children in a cafe at an aquarium. The consensus there was children shouldn't be in any sort of fancier restaurants!

However family think we're being overly precious to not bring the kids (and therefore not attend) and another thread yesterday had posters recommending a mum took her 8 month old to a 3 Michelin star restaurant.

If you were sat next to 2 kids under 3 at a very expensive restaurant... what would you be thinking?

Lunch would be fine to consider at a Michelin 3 star restaurant.

@Chippy1234 - aargh, why do parents do that, take children along to a Shakespeare play when they’re too young to enjoy it?! I studied As You Like It in high school not primary!

Last year I took DNephew (5 but a bit advanced for his age) to see a Dinosaur (think it was that) kids play at Regents Park Outdoor Theatre. There was a kids Shakespeare play on too, but luckily I decided he wasn’t quite ready for that yet. He still loves Avengers/Marvel/Transformers/Dinosaurs too much and even his old fave Pokémon is relegated down the list now!

I would say totally fine if they're quiet (bring drawing etc for the toddler) but you might miss much of it if you have to take either of them out. I wouldn't in the evening as they would be bound to be tired and restless.

No. I think all restaurants should have a cut off time for under 16’s, except the ones specifically for children like McDonalds.

I don’t want to sit in a nice restaurant with kids. It’s not a child space. It’s an adult space.

Australian here and I'd definitely say no. It's not child-hating to say there are settings not appropriate for children.

Depends on the child.

I have taken my kids to a fancy restaurant and I got compliments on how well behaved they were. But tbh I probably wouldn't take them now they are a bit bigger as the youngest and the middle one just bicker all the time and I'd find it stressful. Would probably take them all individually.

I wonder how the “unable to parent” surcharge would go down here?

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12685429/Georgia-restaurant-mom-kids-behavior-charge-Tocca-River.html

If a child is capable of sitting nicely without additional entertainment and has good table manners then I think you should be able to take them anywhere. If a child cannot do that then definitely not!
We don't go to very high end restaurants, but we did enjoy taking my 9 year old grandson to Cote last year. He chose from the adult menu, discussed what the food would be like with us before making his choice, talked to us throughout the meal, sat nicely, and placed his own order with the waiter, politely. He is no paragon of virtue but he does know how to behave (when he feels like it) and this was a nice meal before going to the theatre with us, so there was a sense of occasion. I also think it is really important to be introduced to that kind of experience as a child.
I would not even consider going to a nice restaurant with any of my grandchildren if I didn't think they would be able to behave in such a way so that they would not disturb other diners, or me for that matter!
I think you are wise to decline. I don't think you would enjoy having to wrangle a 3yo and a newborn, 3 is really young to understand how not to disturb other diners and you might feel uncomfortable, plus not having time (or energy?) to enjoy your own meal which is, perhaps, even more important.

Depends on the attitude of the parents and of the children.

Case in point: DH took me once to a fancy seaside restaurant (we had lobster!). Next to us was a family with a not-so-little 12/13yo. He was playing some kind of war game 😵‍💫😵‍💫 we spent what was supposed to a lovely, too-expensive dinner date listening to gun sounds and explosions!!!! 😑🫨 I'd rather hear a baby crying! At least that is natural and sometimes unavoidable!