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WWYD here (my dog and pub related, name changed as quite outing).

278 replies

dogdilemmasagain · 17/02/2023 12:53

For about 8 years I've had a good attachment to my local pub. I go in there 2 or three times a week. I live by myself and moved here not knowing anybody, all my friends live in my old hometown. I am now very close friends with the landlord and a lot of other people who go in there. It isn't about going out to drink alcohol, I could do that anywhere, It's more the social scene and feeling part of a community-Going in there is my only socialisation most of the time.

It is a dog-friendly pub, we're in a place where there are 3 dog friendly pubs and a lot of others that aren't, all quite close together.

I always take my dog with me, dog is now well-liked by all the regulars and the landlord absolutely loves her.

A couple have began coming in recently. One of the couple is absolutely petrified of dogs. They always sit near the bar, where I also always sit.

I am not keen on him for unrelated reasons although he's pleasant enough.

They're there most times I go in with little exception and obviously I can't predict when they'll be in or if they'll arrive after I arrive, although they're 9 times out of 10 already there when I go as I go quite late.

For this reason, since I learned this I have not been taking my dog in the pub at all.

This causes me a couple of problems. One, I don't like leaving my dog at home alone. I am not out for a long time, but dog knows where I am going as he's used to my routine. Dog absolutely loves the pub, everyone makes a huge fuss of him and I get such a forlorn look from him when I go without him. To none 'dog people' this may sound bizarre but I am childless and single, so dog is a big part of me and my life.

Two, I don't feel safe walking home without dog. He's a big dog and although very friendly most of the time, I've had more than one situation where things could have been potentially dangerous for me without dog (I was followed home once and he scarpered once dog reacted) so I really do not enjoy being without him. It's too close for a taxi to be feasible but still far enough away from my house for something to potentially happen, and quite an isolated route.

So recently I said to the landlord that I'd have to stop coming in, I don't feel I am being fair on dog and I feel I am compromising my safety. Landlord said he understood. Suggested I sit further away from the couple instead of stopping coming in altogether, but this isn't ideal, I'd still need to bring dog with me to the bar near the couple each time I wanted another drink, and also, I go in to chat to everyone and everyone I am friends with sits near the bar-I'd just be sitting on my own.

I told one of my friends in there about this too. Friend said that the man who's terrified of dogs hasn't come in ever before until recently whereas I am part of the furniture as is my dog, and I shouldn't be letting him make me change something that's important to me. Said 'If he doesn't like dogs, why can't he choose from the other millions of pubs in the country that don't allow them in, there's a huge 'Dogs Welcome' sign outside this one!'

FWIW there are several pubs within walking distance of one another that don't allow dogs.

Hm. Well I definitely don't want to cause someone to be scared and unable to enjoy their evening. But does my friend have a point? Am I being a pushover? I know dogs aren't as important as humans which is why I made the decision in the first place.

I am more than aware of MN's general opinion of dogs too Grin

OP posts:
Margaritawithlime · 17/02/2023 12:55

I don’t understand why you’re putting someone else - a total stranger no less - and their comfort and happiness above your own. You’ve as much right to be there as them. Claim your space!

Cassimin · 17/02/2023 12:56

Take your dog and don’t worry about him.

SirSamVimesCityWatch · 17/02/2023 12:56

Bugger that op. You were there first! Go to the pub, take the dog, sit where you normally sit.

Observe basic courtesy - make sure dog is not allowed to wander, jump up or slobber on anyone.

If people have started coming to a dog friendly pub and have a problem with their being dogs in there, those people need to find a different pub!

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Tontostitis · 17/02/2023 12:57

Hus problem not yours

ConfusedNT · 17/02/2023 12:57

I'm wondering what the person who doesn't like dogs has actually said to make you stop taking your dog in?

Nanatokidsdogshampsters · 17/02/2023 12:59

Get back to the pub with your friends and take your dog.
The dog has been going longer than this man

Ceryneianhind · 17/02/2023 12:59

Keep going with your dog, so long as they are not jumping up or behaving badly, then you are not in the wrong

WhyamIinahandcartandwherearewegoing · 17/02/2023 13:00

Take the dog, landlord hasn’t got a problem so nor should you.

Mrsdragonfly · 17/02/2023 13:00

Go back to your pub and take your dog. It’s a dog friendly pub. Sadly if the couple don’t like it they have other options.

Findyourneutralspace · 17/02/2023 13:00

Go to the pub, and take your dog. To the man who’s scared of dogs, that’s the chance you take going to a ‘dogs welcome’ pub.

Bobshhh · 17/02/2023 13:00

If it's a dog friendly pub then this is entirely his problem for continuing to go there!

CatnaryReturns · 17/02/2023 13:01

I am not a dog lover at all. But on this one I absolutely think that you should keep bringing your dog to the pub. This man's dog phobia is not your problem and it would be crazy for you to damage the lovely social life that you have built up, or compromise your safety on the walk home.

I mean, you wouldn't my stop taking your dog for a walk in the park just because someone who disliked dogs wanted to use the park too.

This pub is clearly dog-friendly, it's not like an exception was being made for you.

Wowzel · 17/02/2023 13:01

It was your local pub first, it's a dog friendly pub. Take the dog!

I say this as someone that isn't very keen on dogs too.

pigsinoodies · 17/02/2023 13:01

"Sorry mate but the dog's a regular"

AbsoluteYawns · 17/02/2023 13:01

Get back to the pub OP. With your dog!!!!

PriamFarrl · 17/02/2023 13:01

It’s a dog friendly pub. So long as your dog isn’t jumping all over them then I don’t see a problem.

If the landlord asks you to leave then fine. But some random punters? No.

I’d sooner be in a dog friendly pub than a child friendly pub.

ShellsPebbles · 17/02/2023 13:02

It’s a dog friendly pub where you have taken your dog regularly. Your dog is a regular as much as you are. Your dog must feel quite depressed having that pleasure taken from him. The other couple are not your problem and should not be going to a pub that welcomes dogs if one of them is scared of them.
Yes OP you are being a pushover. A strangers enjoyment does not surpass you or your dogs. You were there first, you’ve done nothing wrong and do not need to change your behaviour. It would be different if it was barking and snarling at them, but it doesn’t sound like that’s the case.

WhatNoRaisins · 17/02/2023 13:02

I don't get why someone deadly afraid of dogs is there at all. Obviously it's nice to be kind but that's a lot of sacrifice for you to make for the sake of a total stranger who probably doesn't even care about you.

AlmostSummer21 · 17/02/2023 13:04

you shouldn't have stopped taking your dog. Now it looks (to them) like a new thing.

however, just start taking your dog as you used to, it's a dog friendly pub, if they don't like dogs they can go to one of the ones that doesn't permit dogs.

no way I'd leave mine at home to suit some bellend who is scared of dogs but chooses the dog friendly pub.

your self esteem needs done work! 💐

WhatWouldHopperDo · 17/02/2023 13:05

If it's a dog friendly pub, surely you aren't the only person taking a dog in - even if you are there more regularly than most people.

As others have asked, why did you feel the need to stop taking your dog in the first place?

I am all for people having the right to not want to be around dogs for whatever reason but if somewhere is advertised as dog friendly, surely you stay away?

dogdilemmasagain · 17/02/2023 13:05

I truly didn't expect these sorts of replies! Thank you everyone!

In response to some things said I am very mindful of others when dog's with me.
No slobbering or bad behaviour etc.

@ConfusedNT we were talking (a group of people who go in there) about dogs in general, can't remember why and he mentioned that he'd had a bad experience with a dog once, and since then they absolutely terrify him, cause anxiety, he's nervous if he's near one, especially larger ones.

Looks like I am going back to having dog with me again then! :) I might talk to the couple about it and explain the safety issue.

OP posts:
FionnulaTheCooler · 17/02/2023 13:06

You're being a pushover. I don't like dogs so I generally choose not to use pubs or cafes that advertise themselves as dog friendly. The couple in this scenario have the same choice.

WeWereInParis · 17/02/2023 13:06

What has this man actually said? It doesn't sound like, from what you've written, he's actually asked you to not bring your dog in? What makes you think his view isn't "I don't like dogs but there's nothing I can do about it". That's what my view would be - I don't like dogs but in a dog friendly pub I wouldn't ask/suggest/demand someone didn't bring one.

dogdilemmasagain · 17/02/2023 13:07

@AlmostSummer21 yes. I realise I've done the wrong thing there. I was always with my dog for the first few times they were in until the aforementioned conversation happened. They've become 'proper' regulars.. I am going to have to tell them I have changed my mind.

OP posts:
CatnaryReturns · 17/02/2023 13:07

How do you know this man is afraid of dogs? Did he complain directly to you, or have you just heard it on the grapevine? The couple have been in multiple times, knowing full well your dog would be there. If it bothered them that much they'd have gone elsewhere.

I'd be surprised if they thought that they would be able to discourage you from bringing the dog in. It's possible even they do not want you to change.