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Original poster

WWYD here (my dog and pub related, name changed as quite outing).

278 replies

dogdilemmasagain · 17/02/2023 12:53

For about 8 years I've had a good attachment to my local pub. I go in there 2 or three times a week. I live by myself and moved here not knowing anybody, all my friends live in my old hometown. I am now very close friends with the landlord and a lot of other people who go in there. It isn't about going out to drink alcohol, I could do that anywhere, It's more the social scene and feeling part of a community-Going in there is my only socialisation most of the time.

It is a dog-friendly pub, we're in a place where there are 3 dog friendly pubs and a lot of others that aren't, all quite close together.

I always take my dog with me, dog is now well-liked by all the regulars and the landlord absolutely loves her.

A couple have began coming in recently. One of the couple is absolutely petrified of dogs. They always sit near the bar, where I also always sit.

I am not keen on him for unrelated reasons although he's pleasant enough.

They're there most times I go in with little exception and obviously I can't predict when they'll be in or if they'll arrive after I arrive, although they're 9 times out of 10 already there when I go as I go quite late.

For this reason, since I learned this I have not been taking my dog in the pub at all.

This causes me a couple of problems. One, I don't like leaving my dog at home alone. I am not out for a long time, but dog knows where I am going as he's used to my routine. Dog absolutely loves the pub, everyone makes a huge fuss of him and I get such a forlorn look from him when I go without him. To none 'dog people' this may sound bizarre but I am childless and single, so dog is a big part of me and my life.

Two, I don't feel safe walking home without dog. He's a big dog and although very friendly most of the time, I've had more than one situation where things could have been potentially dangerous for me without dog (I was followed home once and he scarpered once dog reacted) so I really do not enjoy being without him. It's too close for a taxi to be feasible but still far enough away from my house for something to potentially happen, and quite an isolated route.

So recently I said to the landlord that I'd have to stop coming in, I don't feel I am being fair on dog and I feel I am compromising my safety. Landlord said he understood. Suggested I sit further away from the couple instead of stopping coming in altogether, but this isn't ideal, I'd still need to bring dog with me to the bar near the couple each time I wanted another drink, and also, I go in to chat to everyone and everyone I am friends with sits near the bar-I'd just be sitting on my own.

I told one of my friends in there about this too. Friend said that the man who's terrified of dogs hasn't come in ever before until recently whereas I am part of the furniture as is my dog, and I shouldn't be letting him make me change something that's important to me. Said 'If he doesn't like dogs, why can't he choose from the other millions of pubs in the country that don't allow them in, there's a huge 'Dogs Welcome' sign outside this one!'

FWIW there are several pubs within walking distance of one another that don't allow dogs.

Hm. Well I definitely don't want to cause someone to be scared and unable to enjoy their evening. But does my friend have a point? Am I being a pushover? I know dogs aren't as important as humans which is why I made the decision in the first place.

I am more than aware of MN's general opinion of dogs too Grin

OP posts:
LadyMary50 · 17/02/2023 14:00

dogdilemmasagain · 17/02/2023 13:05

I truly didn't expect these sorts of replies! Thank you everyone!

In response to some things said I am very mindful of others when dog's with me.
No slobbering or bad behaviour etc.

@ConfusedNT we were talking (a group of people who go in there) about dogs in general, can't remember why and he mentioned that he'd had a bad experience with a dog once, and since then they absolutely terrify him, cause anxiety, he's nervous if he's near one, especially larger ones.

Looks like I am going back to having dog with me again then! :) I might talk to the couple about it and explain the safety issue.

I don’t think it’s necessary to explain anything to this couple,they have chosen to go to a dog friendly pub its on them to cope..

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 17/02/2023 14:02

There would have been no chance I'd have stopped taking him in the first place!

MirabelMax · 17/02/2023 14:03

I really wouldn't start trying to think of what to say if he challenges you. You'll get yourself unnecessarily wound up again. Just go back to bringing the dog back and worry about it IF it happens.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Dogs
NoBiscuitsLeftInMyTin · 17/02/2023 14:03

Just carry on taking the dog - they’re idiots.

KatherineJaneway · 17/02/2023 14:03

If he doesn't like dogs, he can go elsewhere.

Mischance · 17/02/2023 14:03

Take your dog - stuff this woman's feelings! You are a dog lover - your feelings trump all others of course.

CockSpadget · 17/02/2023 14:04

Your dog changed sex during your post.

OnlyOpenMouthToChangeFeet · 17/02/2023 14:06

In the kindest way, I think you've been a bit daft!

I'd equate this to you being a smoker, and sitting in a smoking section. A couple who don't smoke enjoy the company of people in the smoking section, so decide to sit there, but have made it known to others how much they detest smoking. Therefore, you take it upon yourself to stop smoking whilst sitting in the smoking section, even though you enjoy smoking and miss your social smoke with your drink and friends. (I know we don't have this any more, just an analogy).

I appreciate you've tried to think of others, but I think you'd done yourself over. I can only imagine the riot in our house if my son went to the pub without my dog, she'd never forgive him! 😂

Pssspsss · 17/02/2023 14:06

You were there first! Take yourself and your dog to the pub. It’s his problem. Let him go sit in the corner.

Nimbostratus100 · 17/02/2023 14:08

The dog comes with the pub, the other guy can take it or leave it

Dogsafety123 · 17/02/2023 14:09

I’m not a dog person, in fact having been attacked, I am quite scared of aggressive dogs and find lots of barking difficult to deal with.

I wouldn’t ever expect you to leave your dog behind unless your dog is poorly behaved, jumps and barks at everyone. If I go to a dog-friendly pub I don’t expect it to be a dog free zone. I don’t expect to be threatened or inconvenienced by someone else’s dogs, but I am utterly shocked you wouldn’t bring your dog in to your local because one person is scared of them.

AioliandChips · 17/02/2023 14:13

trying to picture the bar which is totally blocked by one labrador…micropub? Though agree owner should not have them in anyone’s way

It's at the entrance to the bar area where he sits talking to the bar staff.
It's a main thoroughfare. The dog spreads out, usually asleep! He once put his hand out to assist me to get over the blooming thing. I worry about losing balance and stepping on its earhole or tail and getting a nip.

ladymactíre · 17/02/2023 14:13

It is a dog friendly pub. If one doesn't like dogs, picks a different pub

MeridianB · 17/02/2023 14:13

If he’s terrified of dogs then he takes the risk he will see one when he goes to a dog-friendly place. So free Fido and take him back to the pub. Sit where you want. It’s up to the other guy to manage his fears and expectations.

I say this as someone who is wary of bad dog owners - you sound very thoughtful and responsible.

Lcb123 · 17/02/2023 14:13

Definitely keep going and take your dog. It's a dog friendly pub. they can go elsewhere, or sit elsewhere in the pub.

Appleass · 17/02/2023 14:14

Keep taking the dog, if they dont like it they dont have to sit so close to you !

Dogsafety123 · 17/02/2023 14:14

Just to say, reading all your comments, you sound like an amazing dog owner. If everyone was like you, I probably wouldn’t be scared of dogs.

Hankunamatata · 17/02/2023 14:15

It's a dog friendly pub. Start taking your dog again and sit where u always sit. If man doesn't like it then he sits somewhere else

Kennykenkencat · 17/02/2023 14:18

WhyamIinahandcartandwherearewegoing · 17/02/2023 13:50

@AioliandChips trying to picture the bar which is totally blocked by one labrador…micropub? Though agree owner should not have them in anyone’s way.

I have several - once they are down they generally can’t be arsed moving unless there’s a promise of food or walkies 🤣 most likely to ask you for a belly rub rather than attack.

I just love dogs in pubs.

I used to go to dog friendly pubs with dc and ddog.
Ddog has now since passed but we still love going into pubs that say dogs welcome just so we can see the dogs in there and maybe be able to stroke one or 2 if they are close by and seem interested.

FWIW none of us drink.

Our local pubs landlord had a large Labrador. We would pop in regularly just to get the updates on the Landlords battles with his dogs weight.
Labrador would be losing weight slowly but would then snaffle something he had left on the side when he was unloading stuff from the wholesalers. Ddog had the mintiest breath for days after eating 24 packets of mints. Children thought it was hilarious.
Ddogs face when she caught a whiff of his breath was priceless.
Its these type of stories that you miss in non dog pubs.

NortieTortie · 17/02/2023 14:18

Hate dogs, can't understand the point of dog friendly bars, still think you're well within your right to bring him along. The man can move if he's unhappy.

Ariela · 17/02/2023 14:19

I would continue to take your dog. Non-dog man quite likely could do with getting used to 'safe big dog' presence so it doesn't blight his life. Dogs are so prevalent everywhere nowadays, and dogs KNOW when someone is frightened of them. I'm sure if in time non-dog man becomes more comfortable in the presence of safe dogs it'll be a help to him to have learned that not all big dogs are scary in other places he goes.

nxa · 17/02/2023 14:20

Another vote for you taking your dog with you. You don't like the guy, so the best case scenario would be you keep taking the dog and he stops coming in - win all round.

I'm sorry that you felt like you had to stop in the first place, but you've been more than fair.

Please give your dog a fuss from me, too.

Hydrangeatea · 17/02/2023 14:22

Just take the dog in and say nothing. You don't have to explain you've changed your mind or speak to them about safety or anything you are intending on doing. You are just opening yourself up for his complaints and creating a feeling that you can be persuaded otherwise.

Carry on as you were before. Fairly easy.

IreallyLikeCrisps · 17/02/2023 14:24

If the scared man asks why you've started bringing your dog again, just say you feel safer walking home with the dog. Him being scared doesn't trump you being scared!!

LexMitior · 17/02/2023 14:24

I am not a huge dog fan but this is a dog that's well behaved and the landlord is happy, then just carry on.

The reason people get pissed off with dogs in pubs etc is if they are badly behaved or get on the seats.

A well controlled dog? No one will care unless you make a big show of it. This guy should just get over it really.