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WWYD here (my dog and pub related, name changed as quite outing).

278 replies

dogdilemmasagain · 17/02/2023 12:53

For about 8 years I've had a good attachment to my local pub. I go in there 2 or three times a week. I live by myself and moved here not knowing anybody, all my friends live in my old hometown. I am now very close friends with the landlord and a lot of other people who go in there. It isn't about going out to drink alcohol, I could do that anywhere, It's more the social scene and feeling part of a community-Going in there is my only socialisation most of the time.

It is a dog-friendly pub, we're in a place where there are 3 dog friendly pubs and a lot of others that aren't, all quite close together.

I always take my dog with me, dog is now well-liked by all the regulars and the landlord absolutely loves her.

A couple have began coming in recently. One of the couple is absolutely petrified of dogs. They always sit near the bar, where I also always sit.

I am not keen on him for unrelated reasons although he's pleasant enough.

They're there most times I go in with little exception and obviously I can't predict when they'll be in or if they'll arrive after I arrive, although they're 9 times out of 10 already there when I go as I go quite late.

For this reason, since I learned this I have not been taking my dog in the pub at all.

This causes me a couple of problems. One, I don't like leaving my dog at home alone. I am not out for a long time, but dog knows where I am going as he's used to my routine. Dog absolutely loves the pub, everyone makes a huge fuss of him and I get such a forlorn look from him when I go without him. To none 'dog people' this may sound bizarre but I am childless and single, so dog is a big part of me and my life.

Two, I don't feel safe walking home without dog. He's a big dog and although very friendly most of the time, I've had more than one situation where things could have been potentially dangerous for me without dog (I was followed home once and he scarpered once dog reacted) so I really do not enjoy being without him. It's too close for a taxi to be feasible but still far enough away from my house for something to potentially happen, and quite an isolated route.

So recently I said to the landlord that I'd have to stop coming in, I don't feel I am being fair on dog and I feel I am compromising my safety. Landlord said he understood. Suggested I sit further away from the couple instead of stopping coming in altogether, but this isn't ideal, I'd still need to bring dog with me to the bar near the couple each time I wanted another drink, and also, I go in to chat to everyone and everyone I am friends with sits near the bar-I'd just be sitting on my own.

I told one of my friends in there about this too. Friend said that the man who's terrified of dogs hasn't come in ever before until recently whereas I am part of the furniture as is my dog, and I shouldn't be letting him make me change something that's important to me. Said 'If he doesn't like dogs, why can't he choose from the other millions of pubs in the country that don't allow them in, there's a huge 'Dogs Welcome' sign outside this one!'

FWIW there are several pubs within walking distance of one another that don't allow dogs.

Hm. Well I definitely don't want to cause someone to be scared and unable to enjoy their evening. But does my friend have a point? Am I being a pushover? I know dogs aren't as important as humans which is why I made the decision in the first place.

I am more than aware of MN's general opinion of dogs too Grin

OP posts:
LookItsMeAgain · 18/02/2023 06:44

BinturongsSmellOfPopcorn · 17/02/2023 18:15

Seems you've made your decision, but just to reinforce it mine is another vote for Team Dog.

And for goodness sake stop explaining it to people.

No texting the landlord or other regulars, no apologising or justifying to the scared-of-dog person. Just rock up with your dog as you always used to. You are taking a dog to a dog-friendly pub. There is nothing to explain.

I agree with all of this message.

America12 · 18/02/2023 07:40

I don't like dogs , but I say , take your dog to the pub !

BinturongsSmellOfPopcorn · 18/02/2023 08:10

You say your reason was that people take priority over dogs. In itself, that sounds reasonable.

But that isn’t the equation here. It isn't dog on 1 side and man on the other; it's you (and dog) on one side and man on the other.

You have:

  • Made a substantial change to your routine.
  • Which affects your happiness and safety.
  • Despite nobody asking you to.
  • To avoid minor inconvenience to a relative stranger who behaves unpleasantly to you.

You matter too!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

BlackeyedSusan · 18/02/2023 09:07

I am scared of dogs. We don't choose to go to dog friendly pubs if there is a choice. Keep taking your dog.

ScribblingPixie · 18/02/2023 10:18

You say someone told this man what you'd done and he just said it was nice of you. Well! If that was me I would be absolutely mortified that I'd guilted someone into leaving their own local. What an entitled attitude. Please, OP, don't deprioritise your happiness. You say you need to think of something to say when you go back. If it comes up, I'd just laugh and shrug, & say what was I thinking when it's a dog-friendly pub? Then change the subject. Stop making it such a big deal!

dogdilemmasagain · 18/02/2023 16:04

For all who've requesed, here is a photo!

It has been a busy couple of days but I'll definitely respond to other replies soon. I'm very grateful and this thread has made me realise a lot of different things about myself. Thank you!

WWYD here (my dog and pub related, name changed as quite outing).
OP posts:
Nimbostratus100 · 18/02/2023 16:06

gorgeous

WhyamIinahandcartandwherearewegoing · 18/02/2023 16:11

Lovely pup, deserves a pint 🍻

endoftheworldniteclub · 18/02/2023 16:28

Oh that’s a gorgeous dog. It must cheer many people up in the pub!

seekingafreshstart · 18/02/2023 16:39

What a gorgeous boy. 🥰 Can you take him to my pub? 😂

CatJumperTwat · 18/02/2023 17:10

What a handsome boy! He would make my pub visit 5000% better.

Dogsafety123 · 18/02/2023 17:14

@dogdilemmasagain - beautiful looking dog. Definitely one that would scare me though if it were barking, growling, jumping up or if I had to step over it. But under good control I bet it’s a lovely dog that everyone loves.

DaisyStarburst · 18/02/2023 17:29

He's beautiful

Blueberrycreampie · 18/02/2023 17:54

Thank you, he's very handsome! x

GCAcademic · 18/02/2023 17:54

I would come to the pub just to see your lovely boy!

SirChenjins · 18/02/2023 18:03

He’s gorgeous OP! Definitely the sort of dog a dog friendly pub needs 😊

Cutgrass1 · 18/02/2023 18:30

Absolutely take the dog 😀

REP22 · 18/02/2023 18:48

What a lovely dog. x

SoCunningYouCanStickATailOnItAndCallItAFox · 18/02/2023 21:47

I would be delighted to share a pub with your gorgeous dog. :)

WiddlinDiddlin · 18/02/2023 23:49

I just came back for the dog photo... and I've had 8 hours of dog photos at work (dog related... or that would be excessive)... loooooooovely, I hope you've both been to the pub tonight!

dogdilemmasagain · 20/02/2023 17:29

I'm back. :)

Yes we did go to the pub last night and the night before-strangely enough the couple weren't in and that's the first time I've been in in a few weeks and they've not been there, so I didn't have anything to think about but we had a lovely time and dog got plenty of cuddles/treats, thank you. :)

To clarify I've not told 'everyone' just LL and one other person in there who I speak to, who I trust to not say anything about it.

@Springpetal I read that in a broad accent

@AioliandChips I understand what you're saying. Dog has very rarely been in anyone's way though of course as I've said, I think It's happened when we've both been in the way if I've been at the bar or such and when it has happened, it isn't a case of I wait until someone's approached and can't or doesn't want to pass, I am constantly looking about and mindful before it gets to that, and we'll shift!

@BinturongsSmellOfPopcorn thank you, that makes sense.

I appreciate fully that I shouldn't have felt this way in the first place. I am so glad I posted-need to have some words with myself (seriously) about putting other's needs first without thinking. This isn't about humans v dogs is it? It's about me (and dog)and my needs v another person's and I shouldn't have by default made myself suffer in any way. I didn't think it through properly either.

It won't let me tag but a pp said something that has reminded me that a different newcomer suddenly appeared once and was a bit annoying and slightly creepy-landlord did discover they'd been banned from a few other of the closest pubs! I can't assume the same of these two of course and I won't pry about it-I was new in there at one point!

That's a good point @ScribblingPixie and goes with what a PP said too about how if it was them they'd be mortified to learn Id done this.

And aww-- thank you for all the dog compliments :)

OP posts:
Floofydawg · 20/02/2023 18:27

Just a thought OP but one of the other regulars hold your dog's lead for you while you go to the bar? I happily did this for a man on his own with a dog yesterday.

Floofydawg · 20/02/2023 18:27

will one of the regulars, that should say

ScribblingPixie · 20/02/2023 18:43

So pleased you took back your rightful place in the pub, OP. And great that everyone made a fuss of your lovely dog.

dogdilemmasagain · 20/02/2023 19:31

@Floofydawg I do sometimes do that. Only occasionally because I just don't think It's so fair, dog is my responsibility-I think about things that won't likely happen but could ? E.G a reactive dog came up and started something? I'm very used to my dog, dogs in general (and large ones) and would know what to do. I've done it when I've gone to the loo at times, but mostly I take dog with me then too :)

Thank you @ScribblingPixie and everyone else. I've had some lovely advice on here :)

OP posts: