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WWYD here (my dog and pub related, name changed as quite outing).

278 replies

dogdilemmasagain · 17/02/2023 12:53

For about 8 years I've had a good attachment to my local pub. I go in there 2 or three times a week. I live by myself and moved here not knowing anybody, all my friends live in my old hometown. I am now very close friends with the landlord and a lot of other people who go in there. It isn't about going out to drink alcohol, I could do that anywhere, It's more the social scene and feeling part of a community-Going in there is my only socialisation most of the time.

It is a dog-friendly pub, we're in a place where there are 3 dog friendly pubs and a lot of others that aren't, all quite close together.

I always take my dog with me, dog is now well-liked by all the regulars and the landlord absolutely loves her.

A couple have began coming in recently. One of the couple is absolutely petrified of dogs. They always sit near the bar, where I also always sit.

I am not keen on him for unrelated reasons although he's pleasant enough.

They're there most times I go in with little exception and obviously I can't predict when they'll be in or if they'll arrive after I arrive, although they're 9 times out of 10 already there when I go as I go quite late.

For this reason, since I learned this I have not been taking my dog in the pub at all.

This causes me a couple of problems. One, I don't like leaving my dog at home alone. I am not out for a long time, but dog knows where I am going as he's used to my routine. Dog absolutely loves the pub, everyone makes a huge fuss of him and I get such a forlorn look from him when I go without him. To none 'dog people' this may sound bizarre but I am childless and single, so dog is a big part of me and my life.

Two, I don't feel safe walking home without dog. He's a big dog and although very friendly most of the time, I've had more than one situation where things could have been potentially dangerous for me without dog (I was followed home once and he scarpered once dog reacted) so I really do not enjoy being without him. It's too close for a taxi to be feasible but still far enough away from my house for something to potentially happen, and quite an isolated route.

So recently I said to the landlord that I'd have to stop coming in, I don't feel I am being fair on dog and I feel I am compromising my safety. Landlord said he understood. Suggested I sit further away from the couple instead of stopping coming in altogether, but this isn't ideal, I'd still need to bring dog with me to the bar near the couple each time I wanted another drink, and also, I go in to chat to everyone and everyone I am friends with sits near the bar-I'd just be sitting on my own.

I told one of my friends in there about this too. Friend said that the man who's terrified of dogs hasn't come in ever before until recently whereas I am part of the furniture as is my dog, and I shouldn't be letting him make me change something that's important to me. Said 'If he doesn't like dogs, why can't he choose from the other millions of pubs in the country that don't allow them in, there's a huge 'Dogs Welcome' sign outside this one!'

FWIW there are several pubs within walking distance of one another that don't allow dogs.

Hm. Well I definitely don't want to cause someone to be scared and unable to enjoy their evening. But does my friend have a point? Am I being a pushover? I know dogs aren't as important as humans which is why I made the decision in the first place.

I am more than aware of MN's general opinion of dogs too Grin

OP posts:
MakingTheVeganYorkshirePud · 17/02/2023 14:26

The pub is dog friendly. Take your dog.

DotAndCarryOne2 · 17/02/2023 14:27

It’s a dog friendly pub, the landlord has encouraged you to bring the dog back, so I don’t see the problem really. You and dog are part of the furniture and if dog is well behaved there really is no reason to keep him away - if someone who is afraid of dogs chooses to frequent a dog friendly pub, that’s on them, not you.

YouSoundLovely · 17/02/2023 14:27

In case you need more reinforcement, I really really don't like dogs and I think they can dominate public spaces too much, and even I think it's absolutely fine for you to keep bringing your dog and tbh a mistake to stop doing so. I would not have a problem sharing my space with a well-behaved dog that didn't try to interact with me, and I think anyone reasonable would feel similarly. It's a dog-friendly pub with alternatives available - which must mean that other aspects of the pub are more important to this couple than the dog aspect.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

WiddlinDiddlin · 17/02/2023 14:28

Take dog. Say nowt unless he raises it.

If he does 'I realised leaving him home doesn't work for me'.

Don't go into why, not his business. He has a choice and is aware of that - get over it or drink somewhere else.

SirChenjins · 17/02/2023 14:29

It's up to him to change his behaviour - you don't need to alter yours. Your dog sounds well behaved, it doesn't jump up on others or wreck the place, and you enjoy going there - it sounds like it's really important for your wellbeing.

If they don't like dogs then they need to find a pub that doesn't accept dogs, find a seat away from the dogs, or he needs to get some help with his (albeit understandable) phobia. Don't let them dictate what you can and can't do with your dog - stand tall, shoulders back, deep breath and relax and enjoy your time in the pub again Smile

REP22 · 17/02/2023 14:29

You are well within your rights to enjoy going to the pub with your dog, it sounds like both of you are well-liked and valued there. Plus, you were there first.

It's not as if dogs are not generally allowed but the landlord was making an exception for you. It is kind and generous of you to consider this person's feelings, but please don't let it curtail something that you and the dog (and the other patrons who know your dog) enjoy.

I'm not particularly fond of crowds of noisy children - so I don't go and get my coffee at the local soft play or kids' cafe. It's easily managed.

The man might even grow to be less nervous of dogs as a result of seeing your dog's demeanour and character.

I hope you have many happy times in the pub with your canine sidekick. Please give him a fuss from me! x

WhyamIinahandcartandwherearewegoing · 17/02/2023 14:32

@Kennykenkencat I love that. Labradors are really pigs in disguise. Mine don’t even restrict themselves to food items 😂

I understand that folk don’t love them the way we do, but I feel sad that they miss out on a unique and special connection with a dog, its one of life’s joys xx

CurlewOnTheRocks · 17/02/2023 14:35

"Your dog changed sex during your post."

Maybe it's a Labra-them

AccidentallyRunToWindsor · 17/02/2023 14:36

The person who is scared of dogs, can chose a non dog pub.

ArmWrestlingWithChasNDave · 17/02/2023 14:37

Where are all the anti-dog weirdos that usually attack these threads with made up stories of being assaulted by Rottweilers every time they leave the house?

Glitteratitar · 17/02/2023 14:37

I really don’t like dogs. Hate it when I have a dog anywhere near me. Really avoid them.

So I also avoid dog friendly places.

This is not on you Op. Don’t change your behaviour!

Toddlerteaplease · 17/02/2023 14:37

Margaritawithlime · 17/02/2023 12:55

I don’t understand why you’re putting someone else - a total stranger no less - and their comfort and happiness above your own. You’ve as much right to be there as them. Claim your space!

This!

Deathbyfluffy · 17/02/2023 14:43

Back to the pub you go - and don't apologise to the person.
You're in a dog friendly pub with a dog - if they don't like it that's their issue.

ifonly4 · 17/02/2023 14:44

It's a dog friendly pub, what do they expect? Also, if I didn't want your dog near me, I'd accept you were a local and move to another area in pub. Seriously just take your dog with you.

Pixiedust1234 · 17/02/2023 14:44

What the heck am I reading?? Someone who has a set routine 3 times a week for EIGHT years with the blessing of the owner/manager and several regulars stops doing something because a STRANGER comes in??? A stranger who has no say in the running of the place. A stranger who could go elsewhere as they have no ties with owner or regulars..and yet wins.

For goodness sake OP, take your dog back. Dont apologise or explain to said stranger. Its none of their business and its not your job to "fix" their discomfort , its theirs!

Make your dog (and you) happy

nc1013 · 17/02/2023 14:45

Why did the landlord say he understood and suggest you sat elsewhere?

You class him as a friend, have been going to the pub for years, he chooses to run a dog friendly pub and knows you have a well liked/well behaved dog? I'd be a bit disappointed in his reaction tbh

LexMitior · 17/02/2023 14:49

Yes maybe there's something else to this story. It does seem a bit rum to suddenly upend your social life because a man who doesn't like dogs.

What's the other reason you don't like him OP?

CryInToYourCornflakesNicola · 17/02/2023 14:50

dogdilemmasagain · 17/02/2023 13:05

I truly didn't expect these sorts of replies! Thank you everyone!

In response to some things said I am very mindful of others when dog's with me.
No slobbering or bad behaviour etc.

@ConfusedNT we were talking (a group of people who go in there) about dogs in general, can't remember why and he mentioned that he'd had a bad experience with a dog once, and since then they absolutely terrify him, cause anxiety, he's nervous if he's near one, especially larger ones.

Looks like I am going back to having dog with me again then! :) I might talk to the couple about it and explain the safety issue.

No, dont talk to them, that starts a conversation that might not go how you want.
Literally just turn up next time with dog. No discussions.
If they dont like it, they can find a different pub. How old are you that you take into account complete strangers issues, rather than your own.

lovemypuppa · 17/02/2023 14:50

Get back in there with your beloved dog. Sod the 'irregular' customer!

lovemypuppa · 17/02/2023 14:51

Ps: as a dog owner you will every now and again have an altercation over said dog. Don't let it ruin your day. For every cross word I've had over mine in 3yrs, I've had way more compliments.

watchfulwishes · 17/02/2023 14:52

MsSupineLickspittle · 17/02/2023 13:20

Female socialisation in action here! It's really not on you to change your behaviour here.

Agree female socialisation likely here.

LexMitior · 17/02/2023 14:52

I think it's more that this couple are edging you out; that's the effect. I bet the dog thing didn't cope up straightaway at all.

CaptainMyCaptain · 17/02/2023 14:52

Cassimin · 17/02/2023 12:56

Take your dog and don’t worry about him.

This. Let him sit somewhere else.

LexMitior · 17/02/2023 14:53

Come up! Sheesh autocorrect

lovemypuppa · 17/02/2023 14:54

GCAcademic · 17/02/2023 13:17

Take your dog.

In fact, get a second dog.

😂😂😂