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WWYD here (my dog and pub related, name changed as quite outing).

278 replies

dogdilemmasagain · 17/02/2023 12:53

For about 8 years I've had a good attachment to my local pub. I go in there 2 or three times a week. I live by myself and moved here not knowing anybody, all my friends live in my old hometown. I am now very close friends with the landlord and a lot of other people who go in there. It isn't about going out to drink alcohol, I could do that anywhere, It's more the social scene and feeling part of a community-Going in there is my only socialisation most of the time.

It is a dog-friendly pub, we're in a place where there are 3 dog friendly pubs and a lot of others that aren't, all quite close together.

I always take my dog with me, dog is now well-liked by all the regulars and the landlord absolutely loves her.

A couple have began coming in recently. One of the couple is absolutely petrified of dogs. They always sit near the bar, where I also always sit.

I am not keen on him for unrelated reasons although he's pleasant enough.

They're there most times I go in with little exception and obviously I can't predict when they'll be in or if they'll arrive after I arrive, although they're 9 times out of 10 already there when I go as I go quite late.

For this reason, since I learned this I have not been taking my dog in the pub at all.

This causes me a couple of problems. One, I don't like leaving my dog at home alone. I am not out for a long time, but dog knows where I am going as he's used to my routine. Dog absolutely loves the pub, everyone makes a huge fuss of him and I get such a forlorn look from him when I go without him. To none 'dog people' this may sound bizarre but I am childless and single, so dog is a big part of me and my life.

Two, I don't feel safe walking home without dog. He's a big dog and although very friendly most of the time, I've had more than one situation where things could have been potentially dangerous for me without dog (I was followed home once and he scarpered once dog reacted) so I really do not enjoy being without him. It's too close for a taxi to be feasible but still far enough away from my house for something to potentially happen, and quite an isolated route.

So recently I said to the landlord that I'd have to stop coming in, I don't feel I am being fair on dog and I feel I am compromising my safety. Landlord said he understood. Suggested I sit further away from the couple instead of stopping coming in altogether, but this isn't ideal, I'd still need to bring dog with me to the bar near the couple each time I wanted another drink, and also, I go in to chat to everyone and everyone I am friends with sits near the bar-I'd just be sitting on my own.

I told one of my friends in there about this too. Friend said that the man who's terrified of dogs hasn't come in ever before until recently whereas I am part of the furniture as is my dog, and I shouldn't be letting him make me change something that's important to me. Said 'If he doesn't like dogs, why can't he choose from the other millions of pubs in the country that don't allow them in, there's a huge 'Dogs Welcome' sign outside this one!'

FWIW there are several pubs within walking distance of one another that don't allow dogs.

Hm. Well I definitely don't want to cause someone to be scared and unable to enjoy their evening. But does my friend have a point? Am I being a pushover? I know dogs aren't as important as humans which is why I made the decision in the first place.

I am more than aware of MN's general opinion of dogs too Grin

OP posts:
dogdilemmasagain · 17/02/2023 13:08

There are other dogs that go in but they're mostly smaller and don't tend to sit in the area this couple choose to sit in.

OP posts:
CatnaryReturns · 17/02/2023 13:08

dogdilemmasagain · 17/02/2023 13:07

@AlmostSummer21 yes. I realise I've done the wrong thing there. I was always with my dog for the first few times they were in until the aforementioned conversation happened. They've become 'proper' regulars.. I am going to have to tell them I have changed my mind.

Did you actually tell them you'd stop bringing the dog in?

What about the other dog owners?

ConfusedNT · 17/02/2023 13:10

dogdilemmasagain · 17/02/2023 13:05

I truly didn't expect these sorts of replies! Thank you everyone!

In response to some things said I am very mindful of others when dog's with me.
No slobbering or bad behaviour etc.

@ConfusedNT we were talking (a group of people who go in there) about dogs in general, can't remember why and he mentioned that he'd had a bad experience with a dog once, and since then they absolutely terrify him, cause anxiety, he's nervous if he's near one, especially larger ones.

Looks like I am going back to having dog with me again then! :) I might talk to the couple about it and explain the safety issue.

So he never actually asked you not to bring your dog in then?

So you have stopped bringing your dog, are considering moving pubs, taking to the landlord about it all because he once said he has anxiety around dogs but has never asked people to not bring dogs in?

I feel like you are making a mountain out of a molehill.

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WhyamIinahandcartandwherearewegoing · 17/02/2023 13:10

Not even sure why you feel the need to explain to this guy why you have the dog with you? Just because you didn’t bring him sometimes. Just go in with the dog and go about your socialising. No explanation needed.

CatnaryReturns · 17/02/2023 13:10

dogdilemmasagain · 17/02/2023 13:05

I truly didn't expect these sorts of replies! Thank you everyone!

In response to some things said I am very mindful of others when dog's with me.
No slobbering or bad behaviour etc.

@ConfusedNT we were talking (a group of people who go in there) about dogs in general, can't remember why and he mentioned that he'd had a bad experience with a dog once, and since then they absolutely terrify him, cause anxiety, he's nervous if he's near one, especially larger ones.

Looks like I am going back to having dog with me again then! :) I might talk to the couple about it and explain the safety issue.

Cross posted with my question about how you found out. This conversation took place in the pub, right? With your dog there? Did he seem terrified, crippled with anxiety etc? Sounds like he was perfectly able to have a chat.

dogdilemmasagain · 17/02/2023 13:11

@CatnaryReturns it was a direct conversation with me and a few others, and then he mentioned my dog especially and how he's nervous of him, addressing me only as in 'your dog really scares me'. But no, they didn't ask me to stop bringing him. I just did that reasoning humans are more important and It's no great hardship-but I have since learned it is affecting me more than I'd first felt it would :( I realise I've made a mistake.

OP posts:
Bemyclementine · 17/02/2023 13:11

Good lord, keep going, keep taking your dog!

ZoeyBartlett · 17/02/2023 13:11

I wouldn't tell them anything. I suspect it's a much bigger deal in your mind than theirs. Just start bringing him again. If they say anything just say it's a dog friendly pub and he loves coming.

Spidey66 · 17/02/2023 13:11

Take the dog. He was there first!

My dog loves going to the pub! Just as well, the amount of times my husband takes her "for a walk" and they end up in the pub....he says the dog dragged him in there!

watchfulwishes · 17/02/2023 13:11

I don't think non-working dogs should be in pubs/cafes/shops personally, but the current situation is they are allowed in this pub so I don't think you should ever have offered to stop taking the dog.

Just take the dog in and say very little about it. Try not to involve the landlord/others.

PegasusReturns · 17/02/2023 13:11

Don’t talk to them, about the safety issue or anything else. You don’t need a lecture in why your safety is not in jeopardy or why it’s less important that their comfort.

just return with your dog, relax and enjoy

dogdilemmasagain · 17/02/2023 13:11

@CatnaryReturns cross post again, sorry. No come to think of it he didn't. He was looking at my dog at the time.

OP posts:
FirstnameSuesecondnamePerb · 17/02/2023 13:11

Defo take the dog.
Literally anyone can walk in at any time with a dog. As long as he is well behave, they can make a choice.
My dh loves taking our dog to the pub. All the regulars make a fuss of the dog, and DH basks in the reflected glory!

forrestgreen · 17/02/2023 13:12

I wouldn't talk to them, they'll only ask you to move.

Get there early if you can, sit where you'd like, don't make eye contact with them, they can move/leave if they want.

EasilyDirected · 17/02/2023 13:13

Just go back with your dog, it's a dog friendly pub, if they don't want to be around dogs they shouldn't go there.

Blueberrycreampie · 17/02/2023 13:13

That look your dog gives you should determine whether or not you take him, and also the fact he's protection for you. Please continue as you were and if the couple aren't happy they can sit further away. The partner who's not afraid can get the drinks. Carry on living your life with your dog, and your friends in the pub where you feel happy. Don't let these people put you off!

Matildahoney · 17/02/2023 13:13

You don't need to talk to them about anything, if they have an issue with your dog they can move! Or she can get over her fear presuming your dog has done nothing for her to be fearful of.

dogdilemmasagain · 17/02/2023 13:13

@Spidey66 I've been your husband in that situation! My dog does try to drag me in- Sometimes I'll walk past with dog at about 7 am and he'll get excited and try to head for the door! Grin

OP posts:
2bazookas · 17/02/2023 13:14

Politely.... get over yourself.

SandraDeee · 17/02/2023 13:15

Stop overthinking it, you don’t owe anyone an explanation for your actions. The pub accepts dogs, so you take your dog. No announcement/apology required.

If you start to explain yourself it puts you on the back foot if he then tells you he isn’t happy. So don’t.

GrimDamnFanjo · 17/02/2023 13:16

Do not discuss your dog with them. If they approach you suggest they discuss the matter with the landlord who makes the rules!

19lottie82 · 17/02/2023 13:16

If the man really has a problem he should go to a pub that doesn’t allow dogs.

Thesharkradar · 17/02/2023 13:16

If he doesn't like dogs he shouldn't be in a pub that welcomes them, would he go in a swimming pool and complain that he was afraid of water 🤷
He's an eejit☝🏻😶

CatChant · 17/02/2023 13:17

It’s a pub that welcomes dogs so take your dog.

GCAcademic · 17/02/2023 13:17

Take your dog.

In fact, get a second dog.

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