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Original poster

Would you let your 9 yo take an iPad to Grandparents when you're there for lunch?

249 replies

AFewScrewsLucy · 04/02/2023 19:17

You're going over with your partner and 9 yo for around 2 hours at lunchtime Sunday roast at Nanny and Gramps.
Would you let your child bring their iPad with them, and let them use it in the 2hrs they were there? If so for how long?
I ask because my BIL and SIL allowed this: nephew came in, said hello, sat on sofa on iPad, took it to lunch table, ate a bit of food,and was on the floor by table on the tablet until pudding. Then ate pudding, then returned to iPad until home time.
I was absolutely gobsmacked they even brought the iPAD, let alone allowed him in it all the time. Byit am I missing something?

Nephew has no SN

OP posts:
TheSnowyOwl · 04/02/2023 19:19

How exactly did it impact and affect you? I really can’t bring myself to judge someone for their parenting when they aren’t harming their child. Watching or not watching an iPad doesn’t bother me in the slightest.

LindorDoubleChoc · 04/02/2023 19:21

No. My children only saw their grandparents occasionally. I would absolutely not have allowed it, there's no harm in a 9 year old not being online for 2 hours. They need to learn how to function without it.

Killerfail · 04/02/2023 19:21

Would any adults do anything with him if he didn’t have his iPad? I.e play games, go for a walk, go out in the garden & play football with him etc, or would they sit around talking amongst themselves and he would be bored?

I wouldn’t have taken my DC’s but we would have played, been in the garden and often cousins would be there. In later years when they had phones they might have been on them for a brief period, showing each other clips & photos, but absolutely not at the dinner table.

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ChicCroissant · 04/02/2023 19:21

Do you have children yourself, OP?

itsgettingweird · 04/02/2023 19:22

Not for a lunch visit that's only 2 hours.

We would for a long visit where they made need some downtime for a short period but time limit would be set.

U1sce · 04/02/2023 19:22

If there would be no other children there to play with or children much younger/older then yeah I would. Its family, so long as he said hello and was generally polite, I dont see what the problem is.

TeenDivided · 04/02/2023 19:22

Yes I would, but not like that.
I would let them have it either before or after the meal if the grown ups were doing boring chatting.
I would not let it be at the table.
They are potentially letting down their child as the child isn't building bonds with wider family, nor learning how to chat nicely during a meal. However there may be things going on behind the scenes that made this the compromise I guess.

nickelbabe · 04/02/2023 19:23

Yes.

In fact, my mum used to encourage it, and gently tease them about it, but didn't mind at all, in the slightest.

Because, unlike you, she understands that pre-teen children can find visits overwhelming and a bit boring when it's all adults just chatting around.

If the grandparents had something more interesting to do, then it was their call to announce it.

DestinysGrandchild · 04/02/2023 19:23

I mean, if I was bothered by it (which I probably wouldn't be), I would make an effort to play/talk to the kid so they weren't on the iPad for 2 hours.

Original poster
AFewScrewsLucy · 04/02/2023 19:24

TheSnowyOwl · 04/02/2023 19:19

How exactly did it impact and affect you? I really can’t bring myself to judge someone for their parenting when they aren’t harming their child. Watching or not watching an iPad doesn’t bother me in the slightest.

It doesn't. Just wondering if I am a stick in the mud or not...

OP posts:
Marblessolveeverything · 04/02/2023 19:24

Usually bring something to entertain themselves as otherwise they will be bored.

Adults catch up and occasionally a family footie game breaks out. Unless it is harming them leave them be.

FrenchandSaunders · 04/02/2023 19:24

Nope. 2 hours isn’t long and if people chatted to him and engaged him, plus a bit of colouring or similar, he should cope fine.

Tech shouldn’t be a default like that, esp at 9!!

justasking111 · 04/02/2023 19:25

My grandsons grab mine which they've loaded with games. But not during a meal. Adults are boring btw 😉

Littlefish · 04/02/2023 19:25

He's 9 years old, not 3. Most 9 year olds are perfectly capable for joining a meal and discussion without needing to be on an iPad.

I absolutely would not have let my 9 year old behave in this way.

They would be encouraged to leave the table as soon as the meal had finished, while the adults were likely to be carrying on chatting.

GoodChat · 04/02/2023 19:25

I wouldn't, but my children's grandparents are all very interactive and my children are neurotypical

Yfront · 04/02/2023 19:25

Not at the table and not the whole time, no, but I wouldn't be against him having it there to entertain himself while the adults were chatting or whatever.

When we had grandparents for lunch recently my 7 year old was showing them some games, reading from books and playing chess on it with them, they thought it was brilliant.

Partyandbullshit · 04/02/2023 19:25

No. I think that’s extremely rude. A 9yo should know better, and his parents definitely should.

Original poster
AFewScrewsLucy · 04/02/2023 19:25

ChicCroissant · 04/02/2023 19:21

Do you have children yourself, OP?

Yes.but it's irrelevant to whether other people would or wouldn't allow it.

OP posts:
Ragwort · 04/02/2023 19:25

Personally I like to think wouldn't but when my DS was 9 iPads etc didn't exist so when we visited my DPs we would be out playing (they had the most amazing garden), DS would play chess or board games with my DPs before or after lunch so 'screen time' wasn't such a 'norm' as it is now. We had some younger relatives to stay last year and I was fairly bemused at the amount of time they spent on their devices despite numerous offers to play games, do activities etc ... but maybe I am just now out of touch?

FrenchandSaunders · 04/02/2023 19:25

And particularly not at the table!

Marblessolveeverything · 04/02/2023 19:26

I have a 9 year old I don't think him or any of his friends coloured since creche!

ChristmasJumperz · 04/02/2023 19:26

God yes, it's boring otherwise. Mine would take that or some puzzles. Used to be dollies when younger. I would expect her to interact as well but if she was chilling out on a Sunday, after a busy week, why not?

TroysMammy · 04/02/2023 19:27

I wouldn't have allowed it during meal time. Before and after no problem unless Grand parents wanted to interact with him.

TimeToFlyNow · 04/02/2023 19:28

Yes but I wouldn't have allowed him to be on it the whole time and definitely not while eating

gogohmm · 04/02/2023 19:28

No but we had a no screens while eating rule from birth. No tv, no phones