Would you let your 9 yo take an iPad to Grandparents when you're there for lunch?

[AFewScrewsLucy]

You're going over with your partner and 9 yo for around 2 hours at lunchtime Sunday roast at Nanny and Gramps.
Would you let your child bring their iPad with them, and let them use it in the 2hrs they were there? If so for how long?
I ask because my BIL and SIL allowed this: nephew came in, said hello, sat on sofa on iPad, took it to lunch table, ate a bit of food,and was on the floor by table on the tablet until pudding. Then ate pudding, then returned to iPad until home time.
I was absolutely gobsmacked they even brought the iPAD, let alone allowed him in it all the time. Byit am I missing something?

Nephew has no SN

Is settling down to colour or read a book any better really? I mean, if you're complaining because he's not interacting then he probably wouldn't if he was really into those either.

It depends on what happens at those lunches. If the adults make an effort to involve him (and not in a "your turn to load the dishwasher" type way) play games and make him feel part of the set up, then, yes, it was a bit rude. If however the adults want to sit round and talk about things that wouldn't interest him and not do anything with him then actually I don't think that's a bad thing.

And if the adults wanted him to feel part of it, maybe one of you could have asked him about what he was playing, or suggested doing something together. Then maybe next time he wouldn't want to bring it.

I wouldn’t allow it at the table. And if they had wanted to leave the table while adults were still nattering - fair enough - I might even have suggested that quaint, old-fashioned thing - a book to read.

Absolutely not acceptable. And I’m talking as a mum of a very challenging child with SN.
there is a place and time for screens. At 9 years old, his parents have already lost control, the teenage years will be very hard.

Why are people so frightened of children feeling bored? Its a good life skill to be around people of different ages, to be bored somethings, to engage in things that you dont necessarily enjoy hugely but that wont do you any damage

They could take it but not at the moment table

I can actually hear you tilting your head and the patronising tone you’re using in asking this (pointless) question.

Agree with this

Absolutely not at the table and for a 2hr visit we’d expect to be at the table almost all the time.
my 9yr old takes an iPad to our inlaws who he sees weekly and where the adults chat for 4-5hrs (but not at the table). But not to my parents whom we only see every couple of months (and don’t stay as long).

no way

rude

No I wouldn’t, by 9 I would expect them to be able to manage to chat for a few hours.

No. He should learn to how to socialise.

And even a 3 year old could manage it. My 2 and 4 year olds do all the time. It's no wonder children at school have such poor concentration and sitting skills nowadays.

Not at the table but I would let them bring it. Visits to grandparents were boring as hell when I was a kid and bored kids are whiney and annoying

We let DS 10 take his tablet when we visit our parents, neither have anything there for him to do and he's an only child with no cousins his age so would have nothing to do. 10 year olds don't want to listen to adult conversation for 2 hours! However he has to engage with his grandparents and will sit and chat with them for a bit. He is also not allowed on it at the table which we don't allow anywhere ever.

No, I would not. I imagine the Grandparents who were hosting were secretly annoyed too. It's rude! It's only 2 hours

I don't think i would (although DD isn't that age yet). I'd be fine with another type of toy as they're not so all-engrossing and it's easier to interact with the whilst they play. And definitely not at the table.

How child friendly and interesting was the conversation?

Not for just 2 hours, no. And never at the table.

Kids need some boredom in their lives, we're raising a generation of short attention spanned screen babies.

I'm speaking as someone whose kids are on devices for an obscene amount each week but never at mealtimes or when eating out.

I would let them have it either before or after the meal if the grown ups were doing boring chatting.
I would not let it be at the table.
Social skills are a great asset.

Is settling down to colour or read a book any better really?
Yes, itis. However, it was only a two hour visit. During some of that time he would have been eating. Not really enough time to get bored.

Bringing the iPad isn't the problem. a 9 year old not being expected to sit at the table for more than 5 minutes however, IS a problem. But as adults tend to be boring, an iPad for before/after is fine.

It's antisocial, especially at the table. Fine during a longer visit, but not during a 2 hour visit. So what if they're a bit bored, suck it up kiddo!

Well I wouldn't allow it during dinner but otherwise yeah sure, if my child wasn't being entertained. Why would anyone want their child to be bored for a few hours?

This, definitely. It’s going to be mostly adult conversation which will likely be boring for children. This sounds totally reasonable to me for children and adults. Also adults need some time to have adult conversations, without having to worry what their child is hearing. Two hours isn’t a lot in that respect.

It took me a long time to open up about my dc’s SN to judgey relatives who had an opinion on every aspect of my parenting, including bringing an iPad to make a family visit more bearable.

Are you qualified to say for certain that there are no SN at play?