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Original poster

Would you let your 9 yo take an iPad to Grandparents when you're there for lunch?

249 replies

AFewScrewsLucy · 04/02/2023 19:17

You're going over with your partner and 9 yo for around 2 hours at lunchtime Sunday roast at Nanny and Gramps.
Would you let your child bring their iPad with them, and let them use it in the 2hrs they were there? If so for how long?
I ask because my BIL and SIL allowed this: nephew came in, said hello, sat on sofa on iPad, took it to lunch table, ate a bit of food,and was on the floor by table on the tablet until pudding. Then ate pudding, then returned to iPad until home time.
I was absolutely gobsmacked they even brought the iPAD, let alone allowed him in it all the time. Byit am I missing something?

Nephew has no SN

OP posts:
Nutrigrainygoodness · 04/02/2023 19:28

Depends was anyone going to play with him/chat to him/ go for a walk/ go to the park.
We used to take dds ipad everywhere. We used to go to mils, dd used to play with the toys there, but then the dog would get over excited and dd would have to sit on the sofa and not move 🙄 so she would play on her ipad.

Jebboo · 04/02/2023 19:29

No.

Unicorn2022 · 04/02/2023 19:29

Not in that situation for a couple of hours, no. I would have expected mine to join in the conversation and interact with others. We don't allow phones or iPads at the dinner table anyway.

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9 year olds Families
Invisimamma · 04/02/2023 19:30

Yes I would. Not while we're eating but the rest of the time. That sort of thing is really boring for a 9yr old and it's their weekend too. Although if there were cousins of a similar age to play with I'd ask them to put the iPad away and go and play.

Luredbyapomegranate · 04/02/2023 19:31

I’d use it as bribery in the best tradition of childcare. eg - chat and eat lunch nicely then when you have eaten properly you can go play on the iPad.

Maybe your bro and Sil had had a shit week, but I agree that’s not great.

Picturesonthewall123 · 04/02/2023 19:31

It’s a no from me. It’s only 2 hours, if it was a full day I would say they could have it a small amount of that time.

i find phone / tablets at the table super rude. I would taken some Lego or something else for a 9 year old to do.

Dammitthisisshit · 04/02/2023 19:32

Personally no, but my parenting is a long way from perfect so I’m sure there are other things I do that others wouldn’t.

IhearyouClemFandango · 04/02/2023 19:33

Depends. We let me 5 year old yo take his Fire to things like that sometimes as lengthy conversations get.dull for him and he can't bounce around willy nilly without winding everyone up.

At 9 my other kids wouldn't necessarily need anything like that, but we see my parents all the time so their place is like a second home so if they did want to take one I wouldn't mind as they have a lot of interaction with them normally.

If it was a special gathering with people they didn't see regularly I would be stricter on it, but would still let the littlest.

Also depends how many people are there. If lots of people all older and chatting that can get boring for some kids after a while.

WombatBombat · 04/02/2023 19:33

I’d judge if there were other kids to play with or an adult to kick a football with. I’d probably tell them to take a book.

DS is two and will happily sit through a meal in a restaurant without resorting to devices & he is totally in the tantrumming phase. I would absolutely expect an older NT child to be able to do the same.

minidancer · 04/02/2023 19:34

Depends on the grandparents. My in-laws just want to talk to my OH and generally ignore the kids so I'd have no problem with an iPad being used. If adults were offering to play games or interacting that would be different.

jamdonut · 04/02/2023 19:34

Yes.

I would and have done.

Whattheladybird · 04/02/2023 19:34

No screens at the table. Yes it’s dull but 9 year olds grow into adults and need to learn how to socialise properly.

LindorDoubleChoc · 04/02/2023 19:35

But it's OK for children or anyone to be a bit bored for a while!

I honestly don't understand the mindset that says it's OK for young children to be hunched over a screen for hours at a time. They'll get enough of that when they're teens and you can't do anything about it.

My dh teaches 19 to 21 year olds in further education - he cannot believe that he has to constantly ask them to put their phones away in lectures and seminars. Phone addiction is a real thing, a serious problem that interferes with the ability to concentrate or live in the real world.

Tomblibooz · 04/02/2023 19:36

Depends on the relationships...if it's the sort of grandparents who are really involved and happily show their DGC how to do a skill or play games with them etc, then it's not on. If it's the sort of grandparents visit where they ask the DGC the generic questions about how they are getting on at school, then basically ignore them and have adults sitting around with a cuppa and a chat, then it's totally reasonable.

DrMarciaFieldstone · 04/02/2023 19:38

Yes possibly if we wanted to have adult conversation. If not, wouldn’t bother me if anyone else did.

SpareHeirOverThere · 04/02/2023 19:38

No. Not for a 2 hour lunch. Talk with adults at lunch, then books or puzzles or whatever.

DrMarciaFieldstone · 04/02/2023 19:39

Also hope this doesn’t turn into ‘my kids were moaning as they wanted theirs too’.

Parents have to parent how they see fit, it’s not relevant what anyone else is doing.

IhearyouClemFandango · 04/02/2023 19:40

Not at the table, no. Allowed to go elsewhere a d watch at other times, yes.

AnnieApple123 · 04/02/2023 19:40

Before I had children I would have said absolutely not. Now I am more tolerant and cut others more slack. I’m currently pregnant again and knackered and have allowed far more screen time lately than I aspire to just to be able to get by. Sometimes people have their reasons and you won’t always necessarily know what they are.

byvirtue · 04/02/2023 19:41

No but I find it incredibly rude when people get their phones/iPads out in company and ignore everyone else. That goes for kids and adults.

SpareHeirOverThere · 04/02/2023 19:41

Marblessolveeverything · 04/02/2023 19:26

I have a 9 year old I don't think him or any of his friends coloured since creche!

That's kinda sad. I teach ks2 - they're well into those mindfulness colouring sheets. But then an iPad's not an option at school.

CoodleMoodle · 04/02/2023 19:42

At the meal, no. Before or after if either of them were getting a bit restless, probably.

I'd take other things for them to do first, though. Colouring, cards, travel board games, etc. And my DC have toys at both DM's house and PIL house (old ones belonging to me or DH, and a few of their own).

Mine are 8 and 4.

SadadassoSad · 04/02/2023 19:44

iPads didn’t exist when my children were that age but I probably would have allowed it for after lunch if the adults chatting.
My lovely Mum did have a super mario play console that the children played on .

JustAnotherManicNameChange · 04/02/2023 19:46

Did anyone bother to engage him in conversation,or play games etc?

MrsMitford3 · 04/02/2023 19:47

absolutely not

how do children learn social skills if in front of screen? you are not doing them any favours!

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