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Original poster

Noisy in laws

193 replies

gkok · 30/01/2023 22:25

Just need to vent about noisy in-laws!
Live with them so not in much position to complain however we have a very light sleeper DS and they show no attempt to help him to sleep! It's a nightmare at the moment and they don't seem to care about being really noisy, at this time of night!
Was so pleased to get him off to sleep early with both of us sleep deprived, and they've just woken him up now I have to get up to help him back to sleep. Fuming

OP posts:
UsingChangeofName · 30/01/2023 23:51

Why are you living with them ?
How long are you living with them for ?

As this ^ will affect what I think.

Original poster
gkok · 31/01/2023 02:44

UsingChangeofName · 30/01/2023 23:51

Why are you living with them ?
How long are you living with them for ?

As this ^ will affect what I think.

We are both students still with no income til Sept when we can get jobs

OP posts:
PleaseCleanTheWholeToilet · 31/01/2023 02:49

Do you live there for free?

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Babies & sleep Children's sleep Families
HirplesWithHaggis · 31/01/2023 02:53

They may not be aware of how sound travels in your home. I had no idea (in similar circumstances) that my hoovering in the small hours could disturb people sleeping in the bedroom above my living room.

You posted at half past ten at night, that's not even particularly late to be watching telly, maybe with a variably-loud soundtrack. You chose to have a baby when you couldn't put a roof over its head, you may just have to suck it up. (But do have a quiet word with your very kind hosts.)

Original poster
gkok · 31/01/2023 02:58

HirplesWithHaggis · 31/01/2023 02:53

They may not be aware of how sound travels in your home. I had no idea (in similar circumstances) that my hoovering in the small hours could disturb people sleeping in the bedroom above my living room.

You posted at half past ten at night, that's not even particularly late to be watching telly, maybe with a variably-loud soundtrack. You chose to have a baby when you couldn't put a roof over its head, you may just have to suck it up. (But do have a quiet word with your very kind hosts.)

It's not just general noise of living though, it's shouting up the stairs at each other which obviously can be avoided by just talking more quietly

OP posts:
HirplesWithHaggis · 31/01/2023 03:02

Then you (or better, your dp) need to have that quiet word.

Original poster
gkok · 31/01/2023 03:03

HirplesWithHaggis · 31/01/2023 03:02

Then you (or better, your dp) need to have that quiet word.

We have done, several times! Desperate to move out

OP posts:
HirplesWithHaggis · 31/01/2023 03:04

Why does your dp not work, and how old is your baby?

Original poster
gkok · 31/01/2023 03:05

HirplesWithHaggis · 31/01/2023 03:04

Why does your dp not work, and how old is your baby?

He's a full time masters student and DS is 8 months. We wouldn't be able to afford somewhere even if we both worked part time I'm sure

OP posts:
HirplesWithHaggis · 31/01/2023 03:07

But you could be saving to move out, rather than saying neither will work at all until September.

Original poster
gkok · 31/01/2023 03:09

HirplesWithHaggis · 31/01/2023 03:07

But you could be saving to move out, rather than saying neither will work at all until September.

Yeah I get it and I can work from July. Have you not seen how expensive childcare is?!

OP posts:
HirplesWithHaggis · 31/01/2023 03:14

gkok · 31/01/2023 03:09

Yeah I get it and I can work from July. Have you not seen how expensive childcare is?!

Show quote history

Yes, I know how expensive rent and childcare are. It's why I'm surprised that two people smart enough to be at Uni didn't think about that before they made a baby, and became uttterly dependent on your inlaws. And then bitch about them.

Babies need to learn to sleep around usual household noises. If that includes grandparents talking loudly, (or indeed, small hours hoovering!) so be it.

Ragwort · 31/01/2023 03:15

Surely you can work weekends/evenings around each other? I have an adult DS and I would absolutely not want him to live with me with a GF and (presumably unplanned) baby ... plus being expected to tiptoe around in my own home. I think you need to be incredibly grateful that your ILs have offered you a home ... do you contribute?

Original poster
gkok · 31/01/2023 03:17

gkok · 30/01/2023 22:25

Just need to vent about noisy in-laws!
Live with them so not in much position to complain however we have a very light sleeper DS and they show no attempt to help him to sleep! It's a nightmare at the moment and they don't seem to care about being really noisy, at this time of night!
Was so pleased to get him off to sleep early with both of us sleep deprived, and they've just woken him up now I have to get up to help him back to sleep. Fuming

I said in my OP I know I'm not in a position to complain and just needed to vent.
Yes we realise we are very lucky, we buy all our own food and live in a separate area.
Thanks everyone for making me feel like I shouldn't have had my DS though 👍🏻

OP posts:
icelollycraving · 31/01/2023 03:17

Perhaps they are not changing their habits so you go faster. Are you all living with them rent free?
Yes it would be considerate for them to not be noisy but I guess it’s their home, they set the tone.
Could neither of you work part time, and juggle childcare between you? Lots of students work.

icefishing · 31/01/2023 03:18

Having been daft enough to have a baby you can't afford it is a bit much to complain about your free accommodation.
In fact it is so daft that on reflection I suspect that at least some of this may be fiction.

Bagsundermyeyestoday · 31/01/2023 03:18

HirplesWithHaggis · 31/01/2023 03:14

Yes, I know how expensive rent and childcare are. It's why I'm surprised that two people smart enough to be at Uni didn't think about that before they made a baby, and became uttterly dependent on your inlaws. And then bitch about them.

Babies need to learn to sleep around usual household noises. If that includes grandparents talking loudly, (or indeed, small hours hoovering!) so be it.

Show quote history

This.

HirplesWithHaggis · 31/01/2023 03:20

You live in a separate area? Just how loud do they shout?

Original poster
gkok · 31/01/2023 03:22

HirplesWithHaggis · 31/01/2023 03:20

You live in a separate area? Just how loud do they shout?

It's very loud! This is my point it's not just watching tv etc or even hoovering, but unnecessary and sudden shouting when they know DS is asleep and they know he's a light sleeper

OP posts:
PleaseCleanTheWholeToilet · 31/01/2023 03:22

You buy ‘all your own food’

Well so you should 😂😂

PleaseCleanTheWholeToilet · 31/01/2023 03:23

You shouldnt tip toe around babies

Original poster
gkok · 31/01/2023 03:24

PleaseCleanTheWholeToilet · 31/01/2023 03:23

You shouldnt tip toe around babies

I'm not asking them to tip-toe. Just to talk a bit quieter in the hallway at night

OP posts:
OrderOfTheKookaburra · 31/01/2023 03:27

Vent away, given you know that you're being on the unreasonable side of things. They haven't changed their behaviour and they shouldn't have to, but at the same time it would be nice if they did.

Would white noise help drown them out? Maybe a curtain over the door to muffle the noise more?

HirplesWithHaggis · 31/01/2023 03:27

gkok · 31/01/2023 03:22

It's very loud! This is my point it's not just watching tv etc or even hoovering, but unnecessary and sudden shouting when they know DS is asleep and they know he's a light sleeper

Show quote history

Then your area isn't very separate, is it? Are we talking a bedroom or two, or the south wing of the stately home here?

OrderOfTheKookaburra · 31/01/2023 03:28

Oh and on the plus side, he will eventually learn to sleep through and will stop being a light sleeper!