Noisy in laws

[gkok]

Just need to vent about noisy in-laws!
Live with them so not in much position to complain however we have a very light sleeper DS and they show no attempt to help him to sleep! It's a nightmare at the moment and they don't seem to care about being really noisy, at this time of night!
Was so pleased to get him off to sleep early with both of us sleep deprived, and they've just woken him up now I have to get up to help him back to sleep. Fuming

God, you're getting loads of undeserved shit on here. You have a son, this is your current set of circumstances, maybe it's not what you would actively have chosen but that's how it is for now and hopefully the studies will make things better for you in the long run. Congrats on having your son and keeping the relationship together.

DH and I have an ongoing debate about noise - I grew up in a noisy household and sleep deeply, he grew up in a quiet one and sleeps lightly. I wake up if there's a genuinely concerning noise (I was the one that woke up when we got broken into, he wakes up if there's a drunk person outside or a motorbike going past!)

I don't know whether it's nature or nurture but if you can condition your child to sleep through noise, it's very useful in life! Maybe try embracing the noise, have a white noise machine, or leave his door and the downstairs door open so he can hear people and plates and pans etc clattering as he goes to sleep. He'll learn that normal background noise is not something startling. Don't let him have the expectation of silence, basically. You're not going to get it from ILs so you might as well try leaning into it.

No. My question is entirely relevant because if they had secured a home or a job before having said baby they wouldn’t be in this mess.

No shit. Your answer to a baby waking repeatedly is to not have a baby? How very constructive. You should start an advice column or something.

Never fails to amaze me how much people like to basically wag their bony fingers at harlots on here.

I don't think you are in a position to complain really. I've lived with my in laws during a house renovation that went on way longer than planned and had a baby in that time. I understand how difficult it is, however you do have to accept that living in someone else's house you can't really complain or expect them to tip toe around you. It was the worst 6 months of my life staying with my in laws and ruined my relationship with them, so i do have sympathy for you. I'd just make sure you have firm plans in place to move out once you graduate, get your jobs in place way ahead of time if you can and get your deposit for a rental saved (look into opposite shift work to get some money together). It's a shit situation to be in, but hopefully the end is in sight and you can move out after summer.

I think op is getting battering here for no good reason, she just wanted to vent ffs. She is a young mum in a situation she can not change with a feckless lazy partner who does fuck all to help her.

Have a bit of empathy and stop being so judgey, its disgusting how young mothers get treated on here, it happens all the time.

No. My question is entirely relevant because if they had secured a home or a job before having said baby they wouldn’t be in this mess.

They're not in a mess. They are both studying for a few years and saving hopefully thousands if they have loans out. Have family willing to help out. They're in a better position than many people.

i think leaving the door open is a fantastically sensible solution.
baby hears the noises and falls asleep anyway

@gkok
did you say they were hoovering in the early hours?
do they work and wanted to hoover before they left for work?
i guess it is their house. i presume the early hours wasnt before 6 am or something?

Yea that would annoy me too OP. It goes without saying that they’re very kind to let you live for free in their home to allow you to finish your studies and parent your child without the added pressure of needing to fund a home, but that doesn’t mean they’re never annoying! Also I bloody hate it when people say ‘oh don’t tiptoe around a baby!’ well, no, but equally someone shouting when I was trying to sleep would wake me up and I’d probably take a while to go to sleep again and I’m an adult so it’s no failure on your baby’s part!!
My bloody BIL is noisy as fuck and it makes me feel like booting him up the arse when he’s foghorning around the house on visits.. and we don’t live together!
Sometimes you just need a moan. Unfortunately I don’t think there’s much you can do if you’ve already spoken to them nicely. Being arsey and waking them up back is terrible advice.

OP is probably getting a hard time as neither of them are working, which isn’t the greatest situation to be in. Usually at least one partner would be working at the very minimum part-time once a baby appears on the scene.

It makes it a lot easier when a baby learns to sleep around noise.

If only there was such a thing as a pill or something to put over the end of a penis to stop getting pregnant ......

Get you, high priestess of contraception!

No contraception method is 100%.

I should think most women have had unprotected sex at some point despite not wanting a baby.

You know nothing about OP's situation.

Do you have anything constructive to say?

You put me in mind of my MIL. Constantly critical, never anything nice or kind to say 😂

Anyone who shouts around a sleeping person of any age is a bit of an arse tbh.

"Noisy, inconsiderate twats are better not living with anyone and preferably as far away from other humans as possible, so I guess this would suit us both best.

If they get so pissed off that they throw their offspring out after being asked politely to be a little more considerate of others, I'd be considering whether I want that sort of ageing yob in my child's life in future."

@Catspyjamas17 inconsiderate twats tend not to house their adult children's families. Agreeing to this is the very definition of considerate.
Sharing space with the partner of adult kids is very difficult - if the partner starts making demands regarding how the parents behave in their own home and the relationship breaks down to the point where the parents ask them to move out, you think they should be described as yobs and denied access to their grandchild? This is a compelling reason not to agree to housing said partner in the first place.

I don't think OP has mentioned her age, has she?
You do know people can be students at any age?

Slightly ironic that your post acting others not to make judgements about others ... makes judgements about others.

She's 22.

HTH

Yep. My son used to wake up a lot and make fuss when daughter was a baby and she learned to live with it.

Looking at other threads it would seem noisy inlaws are the least of OP's problems. Wouldn't be expecting OP's partner to get off his arse to earn money in the near future

where does she say that?

Is 22 considered a young mum then?

@redskydelight I assume that poster has AS the OP

No its considered a geriatric mum

Op has posted a few times regarding her situation, yet here you are just wanting to stick the boot in.

She needs support not judgement.

What boots have I stuck in?

I thought it was bad form to AS a poster so I didn't realise she'd posted before.
And I don't read and remember every thread from every poster.

I genuinely didn't realise 22 was considered a young mum these days. For me that would be someone under 21.