Just spent NYE home alone and I think I am getting ghosted…

[Lonelyuser368]

My NYE plans fell through, so I’ve just been home alone tonight.

I went on a date last night and I thought it went really well. He said he wanted to see me again and was really keen, and we even talked about when we would next meet up. We kissed lots.

Today: I have heard barely anything from him. I’ve just texted him HNY, and he replied straight away, but no questions etc. I then said I hope he had a good night. I know that he has been busy today, but I don’t know, I really thought we got on and he liked me and he would make a bit more effort today…

Maybe I am just overthinking this, and he’s busy and tired.

Should I bring up a second date? Or just leave it now and see what he says / replies to my message with?

I am probably just feeling a bit sorry for myself. But I am so fed up of being rejected after first dates that you think go well. Probably doesn’t help either that I’ve just spent NYE completely alone.

Happy New Year everyone. I hope 2023 is a good one for you.

He's not ghosted you! He replied! Is he out with friends? Let him enjoy the night and arrange a date another time

Happy New Year to you.

I don’t believe in the great ‘em mean, keep ‘em keen but I also don’t think you should chase after him.

If he wants to see you again he will contact you. I would hold off the lots of kissing though and spend more time talking and getting to know all about him.

If he doesn’t contact you then you still had a nice evening and you can set your sights on someone else.

You're in danger of coming across as a loon. You only went on a date yesterday. Chill.

You may coming in too strong, you only saw him yesterday and he's no doubt out on pre arranged plans. If your plans hadn't fallen through you probably wouldn't have noticed so much. Don't send any more messages you'll come across as desperate. HNY, go to bed 💐

Leave it!! Turn your phone off! Be very busy the next few days. Happy new year!

Step away from your phone. Give him some space to get back to you and see what he says. This post comes off needy and clingy and that won’t attract him. It’s been 1 date and tonight is NYE so don’t push him.

It took me 5.5 years of dating to meet my husband and I’d got really sick of it by then. He was the first one I was genuinely happy to just date and see where it went, in short, I relaxed and things finally went well.

Happy New Year 🥳

You need to chill!

you went out yesterday. New year is always a time when people are busy. I certainly wouldn’t be endlessly texting a first date on New Year’s Eve cos it would make me look like needy.

just relax and see what happens

A HNY message isn’t really going to elicit an ongoing chat from someone you barely know, even with good friends I’d just expect a HNY response because they’re all busy with their plans. Chill out a bit and just see what happens.

Yes you’re overthinking this! Don’t kill it with insecurity before it starts. Be a strong independent woman!!
happy new year.

Woah, chill put. Its nye he most likely has plans and is busy having a good night. He replied so that says something. Just go to sleep if you can't stop overthinking this

Bloody hell. You only saw him last night and he replied to your text tonight. In what way have you been ghosted? Chill the f out or he'll be running for the hills.

I think witg it being NYE and you being on your own, your feelings are compounded with all the sentiment around it. I honestly don't think he's ghosted you; as others have pointed out, your date was yesterday so give it some time.
Rather than overthinkung, try to put him out of your mind and get yourself busy and preoccupied with something else.
Wait for him to make the next move and it will soon be clear if he likes you.
But if you act on your neediness then you do run the risk of self sabotaging and pushing him away

Thanks all. I think I am just a bit thrown off by the difference in his behaviour on the date and then the lack of follow up interest the day after…. maybe you think I am crazy as it’s been one date but I guess where I am
coming from is that if I wanted to see somebody again I think I would make a bit more effort to message the day after. Maybe he will today.

But yes he did reply to me so I am probably overthinking it all massively. He hasn’t read my follow up message yet but whatever he says I am not going to reply for a fair bit.

I should wait for him then to bring up a second date?

Some people just don't do texting, seriously just chill out about it.

Yes. Wait.

@MrsPelligrinoPetrichor I know I need to chill! We’re just both away in January so it could be ages until a second date if it’s not arranged soon.

But it doesn’t matter. I just will date other people!

I think I am just a bit lonely!

There was so much texting and WhatsApping going on after midnight I just replied ‘Happy New Year to you too’ and pasted as a reply to all of them. Would definitely t be getting into lengthy correspondence at midnight on NYE!

@JangolinaPitt I completely get that, but we hardly messaged at all during the day yesterday either!

I know I was busy yesterday with new year plans - no one got more than a passing reply. This is someone you’ve dated once, he’s not going to be constantly in contact with you. Let it rest and see how/if it develops.

It might be worth exploring why you’re so hung up on contact from someone you’ve met once. It may go further/it may not but I’d find that kind of overthinking deeply unattractive.

Why would you message during the day,you'd just had a date, he messaged HNY when you did, sound like a result to me.

Actually I don’t think that the OP is ‘overthinking it’. I think that she is correct. If this bloke were really keen on her, he’d have been texting her the day after the date and would have engaged more in the ‘happy new year’ exchange. Sorry, OP. It might come good yet but don’t get over-invested in this one man.

@Iamthewombat exactly this. My gut instinct is that he’s no longer interested and I know I’ll be right.

I don’t value myself hence the overthinking. I need to work on this in 2023.

Sorry op but you sound so clingy!!

did he message constantly before the date? What messages do you want?

if he was out with friends celebrating new year he’s to busy to reply it doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you

have a chill day and watch he’s just not that into you

OP, not all is lost. Give him a few more days to see if he comes around.

But please don't keep texting him and absolutely do not ask him on a second date. He knows you're keen. Ball is in his court. If you pursue him you'll come across as needy and desperate. Let him come to you.

I've done lots and lots of OLD and i can tell you absolute no good ever comes out of pursuing someone who seems less interested than you are. It's just not worth it.

I hope that you feel brighter this morning. I suspect you are correct that you felt worse last night because your plans fell through. There’s nothing like being home alone when you’re supposed to be out having the time of your life for inducing feelings of self-doubt!

I experienced the same thing as you before I was married: you think that a first date has gone well and you expect to hear from the other person again, then you realise that despite his behaviour on the night, it’s not happening. I learned not to take it personally. You just don’t fit his template, not your fault, his loss. Keep the faith. You will meet someone who really likes you.