Other than the obvious, what very specific things would cause you to be disappointed in DC when they grew up?

[Deckthehallswithbenandhollly]

I tell my DDs I will love and support all their choices except the following, which would disappoint me:

a) Ever being financially dependent on a man, changing their name on marriage or being 'given away' at a their wedding

b) Voting Tory

c) Being rude to servers/shop floor staff

Beyond the obvious list like not committing murders, what very specific things would upset you? (This is a bit lighthearted and obviously very personal to each of our values)

Do you have sons or daughters? How do you want them to vote?

I would be very disappointed if my children grew up to be:

1. unkind
2. entitled
3. dependent on others for stability whether emotional, financial or for their own sense of self-worth

I just want my children to be resilient, kind, proactive and courteous with a strong sense of self-worth.

LOL, auto-correct fail of the year. 😀

Oddly I would be ok with my kids voting differently to me, it shows independent thinking.

Just to be clear as this keeps coming up: nobody's said they would object to their children "voting differently" to them. Some people have specified one particular political party that they would be disappointed in their children voting for. There are many other parties.

Out of interest, what sex are your children?

Tbh dd - marriage and changing name would disappoint me....it disappoints me when friends do it but not in an over dramatic way.

Both army - the desire to do a job that could kill another is abhorrent

I really couldn't give a shit what he does with his life. I will love him and be proud of him regardless of who he marries, where he lives, who he votes for.

I would be disappointed in myself and him if he is rude to people, thinks his partner should clean up after him, doesn't step up to any kids he may produce, litters, thinks he's better than anyone for any reason, isn't kind to animals. I want him to be happy and kind, that is all.

We are atheist pacifists

It would be quite funny if one of your DC turned out to be a God-bothering army officer, @Deckthehallswithbenandhollly

I would be sorry if my DC weren't able to think critically and just swallowed and regurgitated my or anyone else's opinions.

Both army - the desire to do a job that could kill another is abhorrent
It's not all about killing people fgs. The Army gave us vaccines, drove ambulances, help with flood defenses, are currently training Ukrainians to help defend themselves and their families. My neighbours son is in the Army, he's lovely and she's very proud. Some very outdated and judgemental opinions about the armed forces on here.

@FKATondelayo
Girl and boy

I’d be disappointed if my children didn’t grab life by the balls in some way. Whether that’s travelling round the world or doing a job they love or having a family I don’t care. But I’d be disappointed if they weren’t happy and weren't motivated motivated to take advantage of the choices we’ve given them.

You must live in a very simple world. What’s more abhorrent - Taliban raping and killing women and children, or killing said Taliban?

@RambamThankyouMam

to what extent? Ie would you tell them and then leave it and otherwise support?
disown?
refuse to come to wedding?
disinherit?

or internalise?

I read some of these and the fact that so so so many mumsnetters seem to have profoundly unhappy relationships with their mothers suddenly becomes very clear. Many of your children are future mumsnetters complaining about their judgemental and unsupportive mothers

I really can’t think of anything besides seeing my adult children hurt others that would disappoint me

Your first condition is laughable.

Shock horror, my uncle walked me down the aisle, more to steady my nerves than anything and I’ve also chosen to use my dh’s surname as our family name.

im in no way financially dependent on him or am I controlled by him. We are a team.

Back to your question, The one thing that would disappoint me was if either of my children walked away from their own children .

id also be disappointed if they didn’t choose sensibly when picking their partners,

I wouldn’t be “disappointed” if my child didn’t pick a “suitable partner”

I would be bloody worried

where many on this thread would be “disappointed in their child” I would be “worried for my children”