Disengaged dh still not asked about Christmas food

[IncessantNameChanger]

I posted about him last week. We did finish off the kids presents and he spent most of yesterday wrapping. But there never was any engagement with buying food.

I bought a few things every week so we have starters, mains, afters, some part cook rolls for boxing day. My and the kids breakfast. Pickles.

The things he likes? No booze, no cheeses, no snacks or nibbles, no pate, no dips etc. No new years food.

I have decided to take the kids to the cinema today so he can let it sink in. I have everything me snd kids enjoy. But I do feel he just checked out this year.

I have decided this year resolution is to stop trying to do everything. Starting right now. I'm done with carrying the mental load

Looks like he was correct to be totally uninterested in the infamous food shop, then. He seemed to be a step ahead of you on that one.

Oh, and-
You might have saved “lots of money”, but you certainly didn’t save much time, considering the extent you were posing on here about it.

Maybe next year you should just clarify things on the first week of January and then leave it be. Certainly beats the weeks of passive aggressively raging about brie, anyway.

Well you’re full of Christmas cheer aren’t you @BirdyWoof 😂

Some people are just utterly miserable. So what is OP posted on here about Christmas food angst? You don’t have to read the thread and invest time in it!

OP- not disappointed at all. Glad it was lovely and you’ve established something that will save you time, money and stress in years to come. Must’ve been hard to break away from that norm but also liberating moving forward.

OP - don't be sorry, there's enough misery on here if that's what people want! I'm glad it was OK in the end.

Ah don't worry. People on this thread have just created a whole back story that doesn't exist. That my dh has depression, he is being abused by me. I'm miserable. I wanted to sabotage Christmas and my kids will grow up damaged. Dh knows this isn't a prison sentence. He is an adult and free to move on. He isn't depressed, he isn't being abused, the kids have a disability socail worker so if there is mental abuse by me she is right here ready to remove them from my many failings.

Unfortunatly the truth is rather bland. I do feel mentally overwhelmed because I'm looking for secondary for my severely disabled son. On top of that I'm sourcing all the presents and food and I felt overwhelmed. I won't Next year. He will be in secondary. I will start in November I have learnt that much from this.

But it's done now. Dh didn't comment once on anything missing. He was quite happy. Kids was delighted. We saved lots of money too. I didn't drop any spinning plates. If he wants his cheese next year he can get it himself at his leisure. If that's too much he is also welcome to leave. I do wish I could cope better but I need to work on being more resilient So yes I'm not perfect but Christmas was. At no point did he cry and say the Stilton was the last straw in my abuse, that he can't stand my misery. He simply did not notice.

I, too, am glad it worked out for you. Your OP reminded me so much of times when I have just felt like I was drowning. I'm glad there was nobody around to tell me what a cow I was, and how I was abusing my husband!

OP, I'm so glad you had a nice Christmas.

I often worry that I'm not doing something for someone else and then IMMEDIATELY becoming resentful that they expect me to do it.... It is usually all in my head and they literally never even thought about it. I know I do it in general but I don't always know I'm doing it specifically, iyswim.

Great update OP. Glad everything was ok.

Just keep remembering to be kind to yourself (don’t even try to spin too many plates!); you’ve already got a lot going on. It’s good to hear it was a good day,
after all.