I'm in shock.... work and schedule

[Tofuckwith2022]

I work as a nanny.
It's not a live in position.
My contract originally stated Monday to Friday work and some extrs will be required from time to time at weekends.
I will need to root through my files and dig it out and read the wording exactly because it's been a while since I read it.

I am in an awful position now.

I feel like the parents are doing a number on me. There's a special needs child in the family and over the past few years they started relying on me more and more and for stepping in and giving them respite so that they can take care.
The respite stuff was never in a contract. At first it used to be 5 or 7 days and it was a holiday locally within the country. The parents would organise other care too to give me time off. Over the past year they have increased the holidays but decreased the other care too. Or the team of people that they relied on so much stepped back a lot.

So they got a holiday last year. It was originally supposed to be for 10 days but then they turned it into 14 days. I did have people come and go to help me.

Then they got another break away during the mid term break in October. I felt a lot of people who helped previously stepped back. There was only one other lady who hardly turned up.
I would be up from 5 or 6 o clock in the morning with the child and the the other lady mightn't even come til late in the afternoon or the early evening. It was just too much of a long spell for me.

Usually these spells take a lot out of me. Usually it will be a regular work week and then I come into a weekend and then the the stint might start and happen then and then it will often be another week or two by the time I get a day off and then it's back to another regular week and often it can be weeks by the time I sniff any sort of a weekend off. You know, like what many other workers are entitled to after working all week? Then there is the work itself too. Often I end up neglecting something as simple as my oral hygiene like going to bed at night time and just falling into bed without using my toothbrush. It depends on the day and I many hours I am expected to keep going for. A shower might be once or twice a week.

The real kicker was that I was never paid appropriately for that Halloween stint. I got paid my normal weekly wage but nothing extra. I was pretty much 24/7

They have other workers coming and going too.
They must be away nearly every single weekend.
There has been back to back Christmas parties this week with no break in their schedules and no break in mine either.

I never really signed up for work like this.

Basically I was told about next summers plans. One of the parents said it while their were rushing pass me.
They booked a 10 day holiday abroad.

They never even asked me or consulted with me. They just dumped it on me and feel entitled to 24/7 work out of me. The parent dressed it up very nice as a lively opportunity and they will organise extra cover for me during that time.i wasn't even asked. I was just told it and I have to accept it.
That's the situation.
I am actually in shock of what I was confronted with.
I know when the time comes, I will be lucky if I get any other help at all. Or help will be limited.

I have a few different issues with all of this.

1. I feel 10 days is too much. Whats wrong with 6 or 7 days?
2. I have my own plans for next summer. These are important plans. Does she expect me to literally piss on my family to serve her family?
3. other people who have helped her in the past have stepped back a lot. I think maybe they see a lot from them and they see their outings and holidays and breaks away as excessive. This brings me into another situation in that - the majority of those 10 days of work will be on my back. If I get a sleepless night, it doesn't matter I will be expected just to get up and continue work
4. payment - will I even get paid? Probably not. Or they will do a number. What's the point in working 24/7 if I will get better hours and pay working in Tesco or aldi.
5. I have a health condition now too. I don't want to write about it but it does cause sickness and flares. I already had three flares this year. The parents know about my health issue. What if I get sick? They won't care. They will be away on their holier for 10 days or more. If I get sick - what happens? Who do I fall back on? Or am I suspected to neglect my health and ignore a flare until I die in work.
6. back to point 1, 10 days is just too much.

They feel entitled to 10 days because its a milestone birthday. I think it's ridiculous. I have important plans next summer but they don't matter. Its so much more than a birth.

Look for another job.

Taking the piss

Tell them what your expectations are for working hours, pay and time off. Tell them you will resign if these are not written into a revised contract snd strictly adhered to. Or just resign and find another position.

Surely you just look for another job? Why are you putting up with this?

It sounds too much. Can you ask about extra payment for the extra hours and what about applying for a different job?

I would sit down and talk about the lack of pay, change in role hours and revert to your original contract
what you describe is not reasonable
as a nanny you are an employee and entitled to all the statutory hols, sick pay etc so you do have rights
The family sound awful and I think you’re right that they have upset all the other carers they previously had

Halloween wasn’t that long ago, ask for the pay you are owed based on actual hours worked. Stipulate very clearly what your terms are for any overtime etc.

They are taking the piss because you seem really lovely and are letting them.

also, start looking for a new job in parallel with a family who appreciate you

I think you need to prepare a bill for all the overtime unpaid, carefull detail it out, hand in your notice and take them to court if they fail to pay. This is horrific!

They are taking the piss big time - because they think you will let them!
Just get a new job.

They dressed it up as a great opportunity and promised me the earth, sun, moon and stars with help but I know when the time comes it will be reneged in on.

Why on earth are you being so passive about this? Just say no! (And look for another job)

Yeah, I am going to work on my CV over Christmas and leave after Christmas.

You have valuable transferable skills.

Do you need the live in part or could you go home to your parents?

Phone an agency today to register for a new role, other jobs open to you are working in a nursery, TA in a special needs school, other nanny jobs.

Employers always promise the job is so good you won’t even want to get paid, I think some of them even believe it.

take 30 mins to work out what you’re owed, over time and how much leave you have left to take (presumably loads) ask if they want to pay your for the unused leave. Get the answer to all that and whatever it is, hand your notice in. They don’t own you.

Get a new job. If you sit down and let them you won’t work for free (you’be been a doormat excepting that) then they may look for someone else who is willing to do respite. Or if you talk to them decide if you are willing to do respite care and if yes on what terms and only if agreed in advance.

I would inform them that they need to arrange covid for the summer holiday.
mid also tell them you are actively seeking another job.
i would get in touch with Acas. They are breaking working time directives at the very least. I would check you are covered under your indemnity arrangements- what happens if there is an incident when child is in your care but you have been surviving on little sleep. They are cf . I doubt they would be understanding - more like litigious.
I would also check your hourly rate when divided for actual hours worked. Have they broken minimum wage law.

finally - if your health is suffering - I would go sick. They are taking advantage of your goodwill and sense of duty. They are treating you as an indentured servant. They do not deserve your loyalty or consideration. Get angry and good luck.

Why wait? Demand that they pay you what they owe you before Christmas or go home and say you are taking TOIL owed to you.
They soumnd monstrous. You don;t have to stay another day. Better to get out and lose some money/a reference. Don't become a boiled frog in their mad, selfish world.

Cover - not covid. Think you’ve got enough going on without that!

Have you posted before? I remember a couple of threads from a nanny who was being taken advantage of in a similar way, maybe a year or two ago. The advice then was to leave. Please do leave - there are lots of lovely nanny employers who will only expect regular hours and not pull anything like this.

Walk out rather be on benefits in my mums spare room than put up with that you would easily get another job not worth the stress they are seriously taking the piss

They are taking advantage, while you are being oddly passive and accepting.

It's not healthy. For now, document in black and white what they owe for all the overtime you've done, and make it clear that it must be paid in your next pay check.

And yes, if you are not happy with this family, look for another job - but you also need to grow up and have boundaries, otherwise you'll probably end up in the same position again.

You've received a lot of good advice here OP. I would strongly second the recommendation to contact ACAS as it seems like you need someone to actively be on your side.

You sound lovely. Good luck and look after yourself.

You need another job that treats you like a human being.

There is a lot of demand for nannies, especially with your experience. Don't wait till after Christmas to get your CV out there, do it now. And start asserting yourself more: check what your contract says, and say that on any basis you need proper consultation and notice before they ask you to take on further duties plus overtime pay.

There are better jobs out there.

Why are people so wet? When they didn't pay you for extra hours, why didn't yout tell them you wouldn't be doing anything else until they did? Wjhy don't you try just NOT working extra unpaid hours without a bleat?

Honestly, if you insist on lying down on the floor with "doormat" stamped on your head, can you really be too surprised when people walk all over you?