Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

I'm in shock.... work and schedule

268 replies

Tofuckwith2022 · 13/12/2022 09:48

I work as a nanny.
It's not a live in position.
My contract originally stated Monday to Friday work and some extrs will be required from time to time at weekends.
I will need to root through my files and dig it out and read the wording exactly because it's been a while since I read it.

I am in an awful position now.

I feel like the parents are doing a number on me. There's a special needs child in the family and over the past few years they started relying on me more and more and for stepping in and giving them respite so that they can take care.
The respite stuff was never in a contract. At first it used to be 5 or 7 days and it was a holiday locally within the country. The parents would organise other care too to give me time off. Over the past year they have increased the holidays but decreased the other care too. Or the team of people that they relied on so much stepped back a lot.

So they got a holiday last year. It was originally supposed to be for 10 days but then they turned it into 14 days. I did have people come and go to help me.

Then they got another break away during the mid term break in October. I felt a lot of people who helped previously stepped back. There was only one other lady who hardly turned up.
I would be up from 5 or 6 o clock in the morning with the child and the the other lady mightn't even come til late in the afternoon or the early evening. It was just too much of a long spell for me.

Usually these spells take a lot out of me. Usually it will be a regular work week and then I come into a weekend and then the the stint might start and happen then and then it will often be another week or two by the time I get a day off and then it's back to another regular week and often it can be weeks by the time I sniff any sort of a weekend off. You know, like what many other workers are entitled to after working all week? Then there is the work itself too. Often I end up neglecting something as simple as my oral hygiene like going to bed at night time and just falling into bed without using my toothbrush. It depends on the day and I many hours I am expected to keep going for. A shower might be once or twice a week.

The real kicker was that I was never paid appropriately for that Halloween stint. I got paid my normal weekly wage but nothing extra. I was pretty much 24/7

They have other workers coming and going too.
They must be away nearly every single weekend.
There has been back to back Christmas parties this week with no break in their schedules and no break in mine either.

I never really signed up for work like this.

Basically I was told about next summers plans. One of the parents said it while their were rushing pass me.
They booked a 10 day holiday abroad.

They never even asked me or consulted with me. They just dumped it on me and feel entitled to 24/7 work out of me. The parent dressed it up very nice as a lively opportunity and they will organise extra cover for me during that time.i wasn't even asked. I was just told it and I have to accept it.
That's the situation.
I am actually in shock of what I was confronted with.
I know when the time comes, I will be lucky if I get any other help at all. Or help will be limited.

I have a few different issues with all of this.

  1. I feel 10 days is too much. Whats wrong with 6 or 7 days?
  2. I have my own plans for next summer. These are important plans. Does she expect me to literally piss on my family to serve her family?
  3. other people who have helped her in the past have stepped back a lot. I think maybe they see a lot from them and they see their outings and holidays and breaks away as excessive. This brings me into another situation in that - the majority of those 10 days of work will be on my back. If I get a sleepless night, it doesn't matter I will be expected just to get up and continue work
  4. payment - will I even get paid? Probably not. Or they will do a number. What's the point in working 24/7 if I will get better hours and pay working in Tesco or aldi.
  5. I have a health condition now too. I don't want to write about it but it does cause sickness and flares. I already had three flares this year. The parents know about my health issue. What if I get sick? They won't care. They will be away on their holier for 10 days or more. If I get sick - what happens? Who do I fall back on? Or am I suspected to neglect my health and ignore a flare until I die in work.
  6. back to point 1, 10 days is just too much.

They feel entitled to 10 days because its a milestone birthday. I think it's ridiculous. I have important plans next summer but they don't matter. Its so much more than a birth.

OP posts:
Ellie1015 · 13/12/2022 10:15

Tell them now that you will no longer be available for any extra hours. Then can ask and if you are available and paid overtime you might help but it is not to be assumed.

You will find a new job before they find a new Nanny.

MontyK · 13/12/2022 10:15

This is sounding less like a nannying job and more like a solo parenting job

TheYearOfSmallThings · 13/12/2022 10:19

You need a new job, because they are taking advantage.

But before you tell them you are leaving, push for all the payment you are owed. They may feel more inclined to settle up of they believe they will be trespassing on your good nature in the future - once they know you are going they will dispute everything.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

FermisLeftFoot · 13/12/2022 10:22

Why is keeping you in this job at the moment? Why are you agreeing to all this extra work and not speaking up?

It’s good you will work in your CV but why not contact nanny agencies now and start putting feelers out? You sound like you’ve got loads of experience so would be in demand!

FirstnameSuesecondnamePerb · 13/12/2022 10:23

I would honestly just leave.

Valhalla17 · 13/12/2022 10:25

Work out what they owe you financially, put it in writing and request payment within x days. Advise them that if they don't reimburse you for your time you will be immediately ceasing employment with them.

IF they happen to pay, tell them that you need to discuss the arrangement and set out your boundaries and expectations. They are taking the piss and so far you're letting them!

StoppinBy · 13/12/2022 10:27

I am just a bit confused about something, when they are on holidays, do you and their child go with them or do you stay with the child at their house?

What is it about these holidays' that they are telling you is a great opportunity for you? I don't get that at all.

Goldbar · 13/12/2022 10:27

I would tell them that you're not doing any more overtime until you have been paid for all the overtime you have done up until now. Work out how many additional hours you have done and bill them at your hourly rate.

Once they pay you (if they do), then I'd leave and look for a job with an employer who understands boundaries and basic decency. If they don't pay, put in a small claim for the money.

Clutterbugsmum · 13/12/2022 10:31

I agree with others. Start looking for a new job now.

Find your original contract and work only the hours stated.

Tell them exactly how many hours overtime they owe you from the work you have already done.

Do not agree to any hours/work outside your contracted time.

Although I'm guessing that they are the type of people who will just not come home from work and leave you looking after the children. In which case I would text them when you get home that as they were 4 hours for example, late last night you are taking those hours in lieu tomorrow morning and will see them at X time. And then ignore their calls and texts.

peridito · 13/12/2022 10:32

Pascor · Today 10:14

Why are people so wet? When they didn't pay you for extra hours, why didn't yout tell them you wouldn't be doing anything else until they did? Wjhy don't you try just NOT working extra unpaid hours without a bleat?

Honestly, if you insist on lying down on the floor with "doormat" stamped on your head, can you really be too surprised when people walk all over you?

That's really unpleasant Pascor .Why are people so unkind ,can't they accept that personalities vary ?Not everyone finds it easy to stand up to others .Especially if they're exhausted and working on their own .
And gosh ,there may even be nannies who love and feel a sense of duty towards their charges which makes the situation complicated .

Flossiemoss · 13/12/2022 10:34

Clutterbugsmum · 13/12/2022 10:31

I agree with others. Start looking for a new job now.

Find your original contract and work only the hours stated.

Tell them exactly how many hours overtime they owe you from the work you have already done.

Do not agree to any hours/work outside your contracted time.

Although I'm guessing that they are the type of people who will just not come home from work and leave you looking after the children. In which case I would text them when you get home that as they were 4 hours for example, late last night you are taking those hours in lieu tomorrow morning and will see them at X time. And then ignore their calls and texts.

In any other childcare setting social services would be getting called if parents were 4 hours late consistently.

peridito · 13/12/2022 10:36

I would tell them that you're not doing any more overtime until you have been paid for all the overtime you have done up until now.

That will be very difficult though for the nanny if the parents just carry on. She's not likely to walk out of the house leaving youngsters and a high need child alone if they just decide to go to a party or come back late .

Goldbar · 13/12/2022 10:38

peridito · 13/12/2022 10:36

I would tell them that you're not doing any more overtime until you have been paid for all the overtime you have done up until now.

That will be very difficult though for the nanny if the parents just carry on. She's not likely to walk out of the house leaving youngsters and a high need child alone if they just decide to go to a party or come back late .

You're right, of course... she can't just walk out on the child. I agree that taking the time off in lieu (either coming in late or taking a day off) might work.

Tofuckwith2022 · 13/12/2022 10:40

Goldbar · 13/12/2022 10:38

You're right, of course... she can't just walk out on the child. I agree that taking the time off in lieu (either coming in late or taking a day off) might work.

This is what I have been doing over the past number rof weeks. When I realised that I wasn't getting paid properly for the week in October I started taking time off in the mornings and afternoons when the children are in school.m and doing less housework and laundry.

OP posts:
peridito · 13/12/2022 10:43

Yes ,time in lieu was a genius suggestion by Cluttersbugs .
I feel so angry on the OP's behalf .I wonder if ACAS would really help her as pp suggested .I always associate them with groups of employees .
I can't help thinking that @Tofuckwith2022 needs someone to advocate for her

Tofuckwith2022 · 13/12/2022 10:45

Yeah, I am going to look for new work and leave. I won't bother with a notice and do what they are doing to me and to others and leave them high and dry. It's scary times ahead especially with everything that's going on. I never want to ever work as a nanny again or help another parent/s.

There was a weekend recently where they asked me for a Saturday night. I presumed it would be a few hours on Saturday evening for dinner and a show but when the weekend came they had me in for Saturday afternoon and then they decided to get a last minute hotel deal and stay into Sunday too. The majority of my weekend was just gobbled. I was sick and rushing out to an emergency doctor and they never even paid me.

OP posts:
Cornelious · 13/12/2022 10:56

They're taking the piss! Do they even pay you well?

Coolyule · 13/12/2022 10:59

What did they say when you confronted them about lack of payment?

im baffled why you’re putting with this?

CitizenofMoronia · 13/12/2022 11:04

if they are not paying you at least minimum wage for the hours you are working they are breaking the law, this is sounding as though it is verging on modern slavery! call ACAS or CAB and get advice about getting your due wages out of them.

7eleven · 13/12/2022 11:08

Leave, but give them notice. Don’t stoop to their level as it’s the kids who will suffer.

narkyspirit · 13/12/2022 11:10

Are you paid weekly? if so give them a run down of what they owe you for extras and ask for it to be added to your next wages. if it isn't then just walk out. smalls claims court if they don't pay.

Maybe when they don't have anyone, they'll realise how much you are doing for them.

I would also tell them you are not working over Christmas as you need the time off

Computersaysno123 · 13/12/2022 11:12

7eleven · 13/12/2022 11:08

Leave, but give them notice. Don’t stoop to their level as it’s the kids who will suffer.

The kids won't suffer, they'll have their parents with them who quite frankly sound like they could do with the quality time. Do whatever you want OP don't feel guilt tripped into anything. Piss taking b@stards

Weepingwillows12 · 13/12/2022 11:15

Give them notice if your contract requires it. If you have leave not taken then say my notice period is x but as I have x untaken leave my last working day is y.

goldfishcracker · 13/12/2022 11:16

Doesn't this amount to modern slavery if you're not getting paid for weekends and nights? Who wants that? Just leave. You can claim universal credit whilst you look for another wage. Also don't forget to claim pip for your health condition

Sugarplumfairy65 · 13/12/2022 11:26

Bagpuss2022 · 13/12/2022 10:08

Walk out rather be on benefits in my mums spare room than put up with that you would easily get another job not worth the stress they are seriously taking the piss

You cant just walk out of a job and start claiming benefits. Its regarded as intentionally unemployed so no benefits for around 16 weeks