How did you show yourself up during labour?

[garlicy]

I was off my head on pethidine and obsessed with the fire alarm going off Every time a new member of staff appeared, I would ask if them what would happen if the fire alarm went off, including the surgeon who eventually did my section.

I know to this day that I am known as the Fire Alarm Lady in that hospital

Shouted about all that perineum massage being a waste of time when I was lay there with all my insides hanging out after they’d popped the baby out the sun roof!

This might not be the time of the thread but I don't think women should ever be ashamed or embarrassed at ANY aspect of labour. It's a heroic thing to do.

Eh, I know I raised a chuckle at times. I'm okay with that!

I was so high on pethidine that I asked my husband who the fuck he was and asked him to leave.

Passed out, twice, between the birth pool and the bed several yards away.

Nothings interesting second time around.

Spaced out on gas and air, and pushing, I kept on going on about my Farmer Giles.
I also shouted. I've Poohed. They said, I haven't. I said. I can smell it, while laughing.
I also started singing ring of fire during the crowning bit.
Nearly 20 years ago, and me and DH still chuckle about it.

I had terrible acid reflux and projectile vomited all over the student midwife 😳

Midwife told me
"oohhh - keep pushing, I can see the eyebrows". ...
I replied
"eyebrows? Eyebrows? I want to see more than f*^%<>king eyebrows!) "

I then of my slightly Bluey/bloody baby looked like a famous "celebrity" boxer called Chris Ewbank ! (Who is a totally different ethnicity to me or my husband)

Oooh poor student!

Was adamant I needed a poo and was shouting at them because they told me I could have drugs then It was too late for drugs.

also ended up choking baby out because I had dry mouth from gas and air and some water went down the wrong way… was helpful though because i’d been pushing for an hour and half haha

With one of mine, I asked for an epidural after screaming all the way to hospital in the car and the midwife told me I couldn't have one because I'd barely started to dilate and offered me Entonox. I told her to stick the Entonox up her f*ing arse and get me an epidural or I'd go and scream in the corridor outside the hospital manager's office.

I got an epidural eventually, after a dose of pethidine that sent me properly loopy and did nothing for the pain. Followed by a prolonged second stage, failed ventouse, forceps, a third degree tear for me and a baby with a cephalhaematoma. I still sometimes wonder what would have happened if I'd just accepted the Entonox.

Off my nut on pethadine, I kept asking everyone if they were new ?! I then said loudly and quite matter of fact “am I going to die?” To the two bemused midwives. I’m still here, had two more kids after that.

From your stories, wish id had pethedine 🤣

I can't remember much but my mum said I embarrassed her haha.
I know I ended up having a cesarean because I refused to let anyone touch me. To be fair to me it was my third day of being prodded after being induced!

Shouted ‘wee faster faster’ when being pushed from labour ward to the theatre for a section that a few minutes earlier I demanded through gritted teeth 😊

The only two things I can really remember me doing (I was on Diamorphine on an empty stomach) was when my waters broke, I sat up and shouting loudly "I've just pissed myself, I've pissed myself!!!"

Also in between contractions, I was pretty much passed out. I came round before the contraction took hold and told my mum to "tell those 14yr olds to shut up". Mum asked what? So I said "I dunno", had my contraction and passed back out again!

I shit myself about 6 times, I mean it’s one of those things and I had been so constipated from the 5 days in hospital being induced 😂

I also told the anaesthetist that I loved her and wanted to marry her when she gave me my epidural after being on the pitocin drip

Weirdly it does nothing for the pain but you are very amusing to watch.

Huge baby, wasn't shifting, midwife put me on all fours, midwife right behind me, blasted out a huge fart right in her face 🥵🥵🥵

I didn’t have any drugs but I was on such a high afterwards. I announced that I had grown a pair of balls. 🤣

Refused to let my husband leave the room to go to the toilet and demanded the midwife source a urine bottle. When she very reasonably explained that since they only treated women there were no male urine bottles available; I tried to insist the ward washbasin could serve as a makeshift solution.

I was in the pool on all 4s leaning over and made this like werewolf kind of howling sound. It was like an out of body experience and I said to my husband oh my gosh can you hear that poor woman howling she sounds in terrible pain. He looked very confused and then told me no babe, that was you 😂

Having the injections before getting stitched and saying that they were nothing like when I had botox and asked if she could inject my face too...

I told the student midwife all about Ancient Rome and then was sick over her arm.