How did you show yourself up during labour?

[garlicy]

I was off my head on pethidine and obsessed with the fire alarm going off Every time a new member of staff appeared, I would ask if them what would happen if the fire alarm went off, including the surgeon who eventually did my section.

I know to this day that I am known as the Fire Alarm Lady in that hospital

@PissedOffAmericanWoman that is interesting as baby 1 was 4lb. Baby 2 was not pre-eclampsia but 5 lb. I joked with a nurse and said if i had another 2 babies the 4th would be "normal" size - her response was that they would sterilise me before that happened. Some people are awful. Baby 1 is now a very healthy adult, adorable, clever, funny. Has a Masters. Baby 2? Well he has special needs but I would not change my loving adult DS for the world. I don't think that all my healthy eating, exercising, weight management and clean living would have made any difference.

@PissedOffAmericanWoman

No there is something to this. I'm having my 4th due in January and I had pre-eclampsia with my 1st. My 4th is with a new partner and the consultant has told me that because its a new partner that it increases your risk of getting it again. So there must be something to do with the males part in the baby

Thank you!

As nurses we were told , •It doesn’t take away the pain but it alters one’s perception of it”. Fuck that, if they put a man on moon they can come up with a better painkiller than that !!

I was getting a few stitches whilst enjoying the complimentary gas and air and laughed my head off and said people usually had to pay for a designer vagina. The lady stitching me didn’t even crack a smile and my husband was mortified 😅🤣

Not sure whether the poster mentioning a scary thing to think about whilst giving birth at 19 was referring to me, but I think the filing cabinet skeleton thing was something to do with that book and TV series, 'Funnybones'. I'd been in slow labour for days so I was exhausted and the pethidine was making me sleep between contractions. I think I kind of dreamed/hallucinated something about the book. I don't know why it even popped into my head. I hadn't thought about that book since I last read it as a very young child.

Pre-eclampsia is definitely something to do with the father's DNA. I had a textbook pregnancy and was a completely healthy 19 year old with normal blood pressure. I developed pre-eclampsia during labour which turned into full blown eclampsia within a couple of hours. Ended up having my first seizure while feeding my baby for the first time. They thought that delivering the baby would stop it happening, but it didn't. One of the doctors I saw afterwards mentioned something like frequently coming into contact with semen and possibly ingesting it if I were to have another baby, to familiarise my body with the father's DNA. That was awkward. I did have another baby with another man when I was older and my blood pressure became uncontrollable towards the end of my pregnancy, but never turned into pre-eclampsia or eclampsia. They induced me immediately to prevent it from getting that far. It had been drummed into me that another pregnancy could kill me but I was very well looked after and had a good outcome.

I asked the consultant if he worked in the kebab shop, was sure I recognised him 🥙

😂😂😂😂😂😂

These are so funny.
First born dragged on and it was back to back, and I just kept begging for more drugs. And suggesting ones they could give me. Also begging for an epidural but nobody available.
I tore so bad pushing her out they took me to theatre and said we’ll need to give you an epidural, which (still high on the drugs) I said no way, I’d had the baby and they wouldn’t give me one for that so no way would I accept one after.
They just said ok and I quickly regretted that decision but didn’t say anything out of pure stubbornness 😂 and had stitches front to back with just a local.

This is a great thread!
I have many.
With DC1 I had gas and air for a pessary induction, got the giggles, asked DP if he'd ever done poppers explaining "t's exactly like poppers.!!" He nearly died of embarrassment and was saying "no, I've never done poppers!"
Then told the anaesthetist that I loved him after a shot of morphine. And again during epidural. Then upon being told by a different anaesthetist whilst having a c section that there were seven layers to stitch up which is why it takes a long time. I asked if they could remove a layer while they were there. They said that costs extra
I think I was less embarrassing with DC2. Mainly because I left it so late I couldn't have any of the hard drugs...

I was in the midwife led section when I was in early labour. They wouldn’t allow me the bath/pool until they had checked if it was ok (3 weeks early so not booked in yet), but said I could have a shower. So I was happily having a shower which helped with the pain.
It wasn’t until my OH returned from picking up the bag we had forgotten in the rush to leave, that we realised the drain wasn’t working and most of my shower water was flooding into the delivery suite.
He was mortified, but I was most perturbed at having to stop my lovely pain reducing shower while they mopped up the floor, and I wasn’t allowed to go back to the shower at all.
I do blame their maintenance. Why have a shower there and tell me I was allowed to use it if the drain wasn’t working.
They did get a very clean floor though 🤣

Oh I'm laughing so hard at your story @jackstini 🤣 picturing a tidal wave of shitty brown water drenching everyone in the room 🙈

Sounds awful @Afonavon 😪really hope you're fully recovered now 🤞

Coming a bit late to this one. Pethadine was a rollercoaster for me, I swung between passing out tired to euphoric and back again. So when they lifted up the placenta to take it away I commented 'Oh what a lovely shade of purple' and started to giggle hysterically. To this day I can still see it in my head looking somewhat like liver in texture but a beautiful lavender shade so nothing like an actual placenta. 😂

I love your enjoyment of your womb’s interior decoration. It reminds me that after my first the midwife asked if I wanted to see my freshly delivered placenta so I agreed to have a look. I gave it a careful poke, nodded sagely, and said ‘As I thought. Similar to a sheep’s.’

Armitage Shanks 😂😂 OMG that's hilarious @Ellyesprit 👏 I'm assuming you named your baby something a tad more mainstream in the end? 😉

@jollyroll my 2 births were pretty standard and short I think. DD1 was all done in about 10 hours start to finish. Though she did poo in me so we had to stay overnight and she needed antibiotic injection. She was almost ventouse but I managed to push her out just as a Consultant approached me with the suction thing.

DS2 was pretty quick. They sent me home at 3cm dilated & told me it would be ages (we'd just paid £9 to park 🙄) but then we stayed at home so long & I nearly gave birth in the car as we raced back to hospital. Was only in the hospital for 40 mins before I'd pushed him out standing up leaning on the bed etc. Only took 2 pushes so that was fab. Didn't really hurt either. (The contractions really hurt just not the pushing part). DH made MW laugh by reading weird names from the baby name book (we hadn't really decided on a boys name for some reason).
I was v high on the G&A in my first labour. Asked for Pethidine & was told I was too far along. Think I did a poo during 1st delivery but it wasn't obvious & I can't really remember. I do remember I had a whole bunch of student doctors in my room which I wasn't that happy about. Think because it was going to be a Ventouse delivery due to meconium in my waters plus DD heartrate was dropping a little. 2nd labour was also 9 hours start to finish so I know I'm VERY lucky when I hear stories on here of women being in labour for 3 days etc 💖 had small tear with my 2nd, no tears with my 1st.

Planned CS. When the anaesthetic kicked in and I couldn't move I panicked and asked if they could move my leg for me, then asked if I could sit up. They said no so I started hyperventilating and vomited. I think my heartbeat went crazy as they brought in some heart specialist.

I can't remember anything that I specifically did that was too embarrassing but I remember being whacked out on diamorphine waiting for a urgent c section (undiagnosed breech was spotted after 11 hours of labour going nowhere) and when the surgeon came in the room I swear he was wearing space boots. Like silver astronaut sort of space boots. I remember wondering why he needed them for surgery. I'm still not sure if it was a hallucination or not. I remember being very impatient when he was asking for my consent for the op as well. I think I said something along the lines of "yes, it's the wrong way around!"

I had twins in 2009. I only made it to one ante natal class before I was induced, so my sole knowledge of how twin births might go was from Carol Hathaway in ER having her twins

I'm not sure what the midwife thought when she told me to redirect my humming into pushing, when I said "but Luca told Carol it helped his wife!"

Other than that I refuse to accept anything else as embarrassing

@dylansss that's such a lovely story!!

DS2 was a VBAC (almost 40 years ago). I’m very claustrophobic, and at that time (where I am, anyway) gas and air was delivered via a face mask. There was no way that I could cover my nose and mouse with a rubber mask, I just couldn’t. Pethidine was administered, bit of a wait, then administered again. When it was obvious that nothing was happening, a lovely midwife held my hand and explained that for a few people, pethidine has no effect. I cracked on, and all was well. I had no idea until this thread how much I missed 🤣🤣

This isn't an embarrassing birth story but a shocker nevertheless.
I work at a GP surgery and a mum rang nine days after her baby was delivered with forceps to say she'd had unprotected sex and was worried she might be pregnant again! We were like..😯

Surgeons do wear white wellies in theatre so that could have been what you saw!

Why? I can't help but think only the man could possibly benefit. I always strongly suspect abuse in such situations. I have met women who tried to say "oh no! I just couldn't wait! That's just how exciting our sex lives are!" But it never feels convincing and I always get the feeling that they're just trying to defend their idiot husband's that only think of themselves. 😒

I can't imagine what kind of man he must be like. "I know you just pushed a football out last night and you're still bleeding and exhausted from taking care of a tiny newborn baby but I'm feeling a little horny and it's clearly all about me!"

Irish twins? Oh you mean hard evidence that your husband is an abusive dick?