Facebook phrases that drive you mad!

[Butterscotchpudding]

I'll start...

"My heart is full". Really? You just had a good gym session!

Hyperbolic phrases followed by this emoji 👀
For instance "things are kicking off 👀" with a link to an article about two celebrities who are having a debate about whether rich tea or custard cream biscuits are the best.

‘This one’ as in ‘out for cocktails with this one’

just why? You’d never say that out loud in real life

Cryptic and vague status's followed by comments of 'U ok Hun, pm me x x x'

Feeling blessed

Feeling blessed whilst 'making memories' of course 😂

About their offspring completing a stage of their education:
"She/he only went and smashed it."

I think it's the ubiquity of the wording that irritates me.

Nobody does stuff anymore, it's all making memories. Memories can't be made. All these Halloween parties and pumpkin picking and so on and so forth aren't necessarily going to remain as enduring memories for the children.

So yeah, add my vote to the making memories hashtag.

@Skinnermarink people do say that where I'm from so I it doesn't stand out as unusual to me. In contrast, I never met anyone who said 'hun' in real life, but FB is full of women asking 'ok, hun'.

When people are selling things and they say ‘needs gone’

People saying ‘my friend/aunt/uncle etc is better than yours’ for mundane reasons like buying them a KitKat etc

"My world" on a photo of some parsnip-legged gimp with Tommy Shelby hair, and a rheumy-eyed brat named Teddy or Arlo.

"dear people in my phone"

😆😆
My ribs hurt today and your post has just made it worse!

“Current sitch” followed by a photo of invariably nasty bare legs and feet on a sun lounger somewhere not even attractive looking

“This one tho” of a male hand bringing the photographer a cup of tea or glass of water, over legs under a blanket

The absolute worst is NO post, just a photo. If you’re really that cool, wtf are you doing on Facebook???

😂😂

Oh, all of these! "This one" or "this beaut" grrrr!

Definitely "feeling blessed" and "making memories" 😬

I HATE THIS TOO. I learned on MN once that some people in the UK really do say "needs done/needs gone", but most people don't - they just use it on FB. Always makes me assume the thing they're selling is utter crap.

parsnip-legged gimp
Best phrase ever!

"Living my best life"

Really? How many lives do you have? Does this mean there's also a crap one that you keep in a drawer with your embarrassing pants and never show anybody?

"so proud" usually followed by something completely ordinary that happens to most people.

Like children starting a new year at school or someone having a birthday. Unless there was a specific reason why those things were difficult to achieve, what on earth are they proud of?

Not a phrase as such, but people tagging themselves in at a hospital. Maximum attention seeking.

@HearMeSnore in my experience a lot of these people do have crap lives that never get seen. I can think of one who is always gushing about her husband and I know for a fact he hits her

I weed out anyone who posts crap like all
of the above but I get the occasional post of -

‘It’s my birthday and I bet I will get no likes ...’
accompanied by a picture of a three headed baby or a woman with no ears or the variant of - ‘I’m ugly and I bet I will get no likes ...’ which shows a picture of a puppy or a kitten.

All random click bait photos.

Another one I hate is a photo depicting a slaughtered dog with a bunch of clearly foreign people laughing in the background obviously taken twenty odd years ago and the poster demanding they be caught and sent to prison and can we all share to find them!

Or the one that earns an instant unfriending - ‘Can just two people share this so I know someone is reading this - usually some tripe about mental health awareness.

On Facebook photography sites some people post a photo and state "best viewed full screen"
I'll decide if I want to click on it to view full screen, and invariably I'll be disappointed as it will still be out of focus.
Niche - but makes me cross.

Oh so many...

• I was today years old...

• Referring to someone as a human. "This human never fails to surprise me" etc

• Hive mind

• People in my phone

I don't know why I'm on there to be honest...