Facebook phrases that drive you mad!

[Butterscotchpudding]

I'll start...

"My heart is full". Really? You just had a good gym session!

I'm friends with a mother and daughter on Facebook and they constantly refer to each other as "momma bear" and "baba bear", the daughter is at least 35 years old

Feeling blessed 🙄unless you’ve just met the pope

Husbands/wives/partners wishing each other happy birthday with pics of presents etc when you know they’re sitting in the same fucking room. Just speak FGS

Nom nom 🤢

My mum referring to my step dad as ‘my lovely hubby’ in every post she makes 😬

Posting a very filtered selfie captioned with a deep, heart felt quote copied and pasted from a poetry website.

’and just like that’ - every September when a child has moved up a year, when a child has aged a year and when a child has moved to ‘big school’. In September I had about 20 ‘and just like that’ posts in my feed - one after the other.

’living my best life’ with a picture of doing something that ordinary people do. Same with their kids ‘living their best life’ with a picture of them blowing some bubbles or jumping in a puddle. How many lives do they have?

’and so it begins’ - the morning of someone’s birthday or the start of someone’s holiday. You just know your feed is going to be blocked out with birthday/holiday spam over the next week when you see that caption.

a family photo with the caption ‘my team’ or ‘love me and mine, no one will break us’ when you know and everyone knows that he’s shagging the local dog.

’Chapter 32’ when it’s someone’s birthday. I mean your life isn’t a novel? We all have birthdays.

In all honesty I just cringe at the romanticising of normal, mundane things. And I cringe at everyone using the same cringy lines and quotes for ordinary life events like it’s something unique to them. I don’t even know why I use Cringebook.

yes… This really gets on my tits 😂😂😂

When people post about how kids don’t remember what was under the tree at Xmas I’m sorry but me and nearly everyone I know reminisce about our 80s and 90s Xmas presents and toys quite often !
people who use their children to get digs at their ex E.g five year old kid makes a happy Father’s Day Mum card in suspiciously adult writing

🤣🤣

Dead 💀 as in laughed so much they died.

I have an acquaintance on Facebook who posts multiple times a day. It’s always ‘on route to see this one’, ‘on route to the salon thanks to this one’ etc etc. Ffs it’s en route for a start. She winds me up so much. Monthly photos of her 3 inch long nails with a gushing message to ‘this one’ because he’s treated her #blessed. Thank you message to ‘this one’ for her new Michael Kors bag. I honestly don’t know why I keep her as a friend bedside it’s actually really annoying.

People who post directly to their pets and kids “Oh scruffy you are so cute”
“Oh Matilda you’re growing up too fast”

Posters referring to themselves as “Mummy” - “Mummy is so tired, sleepy time” 🥴

@foreternity I sympathise with your situation and send nothing but love. I certainly didn’t mean to offend you, I lost my mum 14.5 years ago and would rip my own arm off just to be able to speak to her again. But for me Fb isn’t the place- that’s just how I feel and everyone’s perfectly entitled to feel differently. Sometimes I talk to my mum out loud walking around my home, you gotta get through the day any way you can. ♥️ I’m very private with my grief and loss and just wouldn’t want anyone involved. It’s how I keep her alive, it’s our moments alone. But we are all different at the end of the day.

Nom nom
get in the fucking bin

Adults counting down days in sleeps and the phrase "Run, Don't walk!!" when something is deemed as a bargain, normally those Gonk things people seem to love.

Yes oh god I cringe at all that stuff. Somehow it smacks of superiority. As if we should all be jealous of their amazing parenting skills because they took their kid to a pumpkin patch. Or everyone who will see the pictures is wishing they were on a sun lounger in some cheesy Benidorm hotel. We are all out living our own lives too I do actually like seeing photos of what everyone is doing but the smug 'making memories/this one/my boyfriends better than yours' shite is what I object to.

Oh and in groups 'This belongs here'

‘The boys done good’

I have a friend who posts she is a strong, independent woman who doesn’t need a man when she’s between partners yet then when she is in a relationship all her posts are how much her partner spends on her

Posts speaking directly to small children who aren’t even on Facebook. Such as..so proud of you little Jimmy for finishing year 1 at school, keep flying high! So tacky and weird!

People are only now just finding out that...

#bekind is normally used by people who are not nice or kind at all

My mum died in 1999 and I feel the same.

A picture of a glass of wine with the caption:

Laundry done, bathrooms cleaned, dusting finished, packed lunches made, roast in the oven aaaaaaaand....relax.

No one fucking cares!

Picture of a 2 year old kid who cannot read and is not on FB, captioned 'love you to the moon and back'.

@JustDanceAddict 🤗

Pictures of gel nails wrapped around a glass of wine, a Yankee candle burning and a caption along the lines of 'weekend vibes' PISS OFF.

"to the moon and back" grinds my gears! Where did this come from? When will it go away??

All the phrases in this thread are so spot on 😂

Not quite the same but anytime anyone asks a "does anyone know what time XX opens/closes/etc" local amenities question on FB. You have the internet in your hand!! I have to restrain myself from sharing a Let Me Google That For You link, because I'll still have done the hard work for them meaning they've still won. Rage.

I've noticed on Twitter recently a few posters posting messages using a mixture of upper and lower case like this:

HaS tHis pUeriLe wAy of tyPinG coME fRoM FaCeBoOk?

My god this has made me howl keep em coming !