Terrible gifts for a middle aged, or older, woman.

[Aixellency]

Can we make a list?

I’ll start: (This is adult to adult gifts - no judgment regarding presents from children!)

Afternoon tea. Just - why? Not that I don’t like cake and afternoon G&T - but this suggestion is always wheeled out as such a treat, as if one is suddenly too old to get dressed up for a night out.

Mug with a single ‘posh’ teabag. In fact, anything someone else thinks I’ll consider posh - I’m middle aged, I’ve done posh.

Anything at all from Etsy or Not on The High Street. Anything craft-y or home made, unless specifically requested.

Anything ‘safe’ or ‘nice’.

(Please, just stick to Islay single malt, Hermes nail polish, and newly published volumes of art, cookery, fiction or poetry. Thank you.)

Well tell that to my DM, afternoon tea is her favourite present! Makes birthdays and Christmas very easy so I'm not complaining

Whereas she would hate the things you are saying you like, it's all personal taste isn't it, and exactly why gifting threads on here are pointless without any info on what the person likes.

I’d be delighted with afternoon tea, teabags (posh or otherwise) and anything handmade if it matches my tastes/interests

Candle or candles - no thanks.

But always 'yes please' to afternoon tea

Ah now you see I’d be over the moon if someone gave me a voucher for an afternoon tea and absolutely dismayed if someone presented me with a volume of art or poetry. Too pretentious for me! Each to their own though. I personally can’t bear anything twee or kitch- when we first met DH used to be constantly buying me presents with pictures of cupcakes on them? Like a notepad with a cupcake on it. Random. Or china figurines. That’s a ‘no’ from me too. I’m not generally a fan of anything that doesn’t have a purpose and is just going to lie around collecting dust.

I'm mid 40s and love Etsy and NOTHS, I have wish lists on both.

But no body lotion please. No, not even if it's the same brand as my favourite perfum, thanks. I rarely use it, and now have enough that I could grease up the entirety of Dover to swim the Channel.

DH gets given so many bottles of whiskey from customers. I wish they would give wine instead!

No Gin or Prosecco.

I don't really like getting presents. I have lovely manners and always say thank you very nicely though.
I do like being remembered though, so I like getting cards or texts from my nearest and dearest. Im happily Facebook-free so most people normally don't know it's my birthday anyway, and I'm spared

I have more than I need already. I do have a book wishlist, and I also would like a greenhouse and pony. But if those things are not forthcoming, I'm happy for my favourite people to save their money.

I definitely don't want a voucher for afternoon tea or a ride in a hot air balloon.

Oh no, heaven preserve me from afternoon tea. My mother used to love it though and I gritted my teeth to take her.
I'll add craft kits to the list. A fiddly crochet toy that you feel obliged to make because they'll want to see it.
Scarves - to add the the pile in the drawer.
What I do like is anything garden related but people think because they bought me a plant last year I won't want another.

Phone had a funny turn while i was typing.
Im spared the fb birthday greetings thankfully.

God, if anyone bought me Hermes nail polish I'd think that a) they didn't know me at all b) they had more money than sense and c) they lacked the imagination to do any better.

Sorry OP, you obviously value that kind of stuff but I don't, and I'd guess that many others don't either.

What I do value is time- if someone has spent time and effort making a present for me, I'll value it. Even if it isn't perfect. Plus, if it's been done well, I might then own a completely unique item, rather than something churned out of a factory.

On the 'terrible gifts' theme though- my XH bought me a cheap tartan-print shopping trolley for my 50th birthday for a laugh, thinking it would be a terrible gift. It now holds all my Christmas wrapping paper so was far more useful than he anticipated so I had the last laugh on that😁

Oddly enough, Shodan, the rare bottles of nail polish I’ve bought over the last decade have lingered untouched in a drawer. But I wandered into Selfridges for the first time in three years recently and completely fell in love with the Hermes colours. I’m now growing my nails in anticipation.

Wine would be equally welcome, Anoisagusaris, but I have very specific preferences so they’d need to ask me first.

I'm not middle aged and I'd love a voucher for afternoon tea. One of my first dates with DH was afternoon tea. The women in my family all go for a big afternoon tea together every Christmas and have done since the youngest of us was about 20.

It says nothing about whether you're too old for a night out. You can enjoy both or neither.

I'd far prefer a "safe" gift of a box of chocolates than a cookery book too.

Are my interests going to suddenly change in 15-20yrs time, do you think?

I'd hate whisky or nail polish. But then I don't think gifts should be defined by being 'middle aged or older'.

Scarves
A plant
Shit prosecco
Yankee candles
Body lotion sets

I'll have anything, it all sounds great!

Gosh I love afternoon tea (yes I am upper middle age but I'd have loved it at 30 too).
Agree about mug thing - at any age.
Etsy stuff can be great.
Homemade too - I'd prefer homemade chutney or jam or a knitted scarf over your nail polish (a very specific and odd gift) any day.
Anything safe or nice? Just what do you think whisky or a book is? But I'd also like a quality scented candle, beauty treatment voucher, theatre voucher, flower subscription...

I had to smile about the afternoon tea because the people who buy me this are the ones who like to come with me for it so go figure :) although I do enjoy a good one but maybe not quite as much as the gifter ha ha!

The handbag tea bag holder was my worst one to receive. Had no idea what it was - too small for a credit card holder and no use to hold money. Had to ask the giver in the end. But seriously, who takes a single tea bag to work in its own little wallet???

I don’t drink whisky and am borderline phobic of nail varnish (weird, I know. If someone wearing nail varnish accidentally brushes their nails against me whilst handing me something it sets my retch reflex off and I have no idea why. False nails and/or that gel polish are the worst.

Can take or leave afternoon tea.

I always thought the worst gift was a toiletries set - soap, shower gel l, body lotion etc. But I’ve decided over the past few years that I secretly love them. It means I don’t have to spend money on boring on shower gel and soap and hand cream - that’s a win.

Succulents in fucking Llama pots
Candles
Candelabra
Photo Frames
Figurines
Knockoff Frangrances
Celebrity Fragrances/Makeup/Clothing - or anything peddled by an “influencer”
Anything with glitter

Afternoon tea with my 20 something daughters is one of my favourite ways to spend an afternoon. The teabag thing is silly. Don’t like whisky. Don’t see the point of candles. Love chocolates especially violet and rose creams, or “old lady chocolates” as they are known here.

I'm fussy about mugs and don't use teabags so wouldn't like that, but afternoon tea - yes please, as long as it's a good one. It's extra nice as the giver enjoys it too.

I love this thread - very helpful