Terrible gifts for a middle aged, or older, woman.

[Aixellency]

Can we make a list?

I’ll start: (This is adult to adult gifts - no judgment regarding presents from children!)

Afternoon tea. Just - why? Not that I don’t like cake and afternoon G&T - but this suggestion is always wheeled out as such a treat, as if one is suddenly too old to get dressed up for a night out.

Mug with a single ‘posh’ teabag. In fact, anything someone else thinks I’ll consider posh - I’m middle aged, I’ve done posh.

Anything at all from Etsy or Not on The High Street. Anything craft-y or home made, unless specifically requested.

Anything ‘safe’ or ‘nice’.

(Please, just stick to Islay single malt, Hermes nail polish, and newly published volumes of art, cookery, fiction or poetry. Thank you.)

See this would be great for me! I always want decaff, and if going to a conference/work event might even put a couple of decaff teabags in my pocket, where they unfortunately get a bit dusty. What I need is a tea bag holder!
Oh, and afternoon tea is brilliant for me and dd - I hope we'll keep it up when she's an adult! It's a silly thing no doubt but a good excuse to spend uninterrupted time together focusing on what's in front of us (when what is in front of us is a series of treats).
Whiskey and books are both very good I admit, though I have no use for nail varnish.
So yes, I think - different people, different gifts. I hope you all are so well known and loved that people are finding out what you want and buying it for you.

But then I don't think gifts should be defined by being 'middle aged or older'.

One would assume that no one does! And yet there are countless threads here panicking over what to offer such a strange and unfathomable creature.

My own gift wish lists are tailored for clarity, and accessibility primarily. Things I long for, and maybe cannot / will not buy for myself, are mostly far too obscure and expensive be on a list I give to other people.

For me, terrible gifts would be household things, gadgets / appliances, etc - no matter how useful! A new iron! New oven gloves, etc, etc.

volume of art or poetry. Too pretentious for me!

What's pretentious about art and poetry?

I don't want
Prosecco
White wine
Rosé
Champagne

I'm 47. I like gin, Veuve Cliquot and cigarettes.

I also like candles, running, massive palm trees, really disgusting cheese and fancy cheese knives and the Chemical Brothers.

I don't like blue scarves (always blue ... why?!), Prosecco, photo frames, gloves (I live in a country that never drops below 16 during the day)), afternoon tea vouchers (lacks gin and good champagne and I hate tiny sandwiches), spa vouchers, well meaning books, 'smellies', blankies/socks/oodies, ornaments, orchids, bouquets of flowers, 'posh' teas, chocolates, flavoured gins, jam selections, needy flowering pot plants, teddy bears or painted signs bearing a legend such as 'ITS ALWAYS GIN O'CLOCK IN THIS HOUSE!', other gin related ephemera that isn't actually gin (gin bath salts I'm looking at you), ugly glasses, random painted ducks.

I could probably go on.

It’s interesting to see how diverse our ideas of good v bad gifts are.
The things you would love I would immediately regift or send to the school Christmas bazaar collection. I hate whisky of any kind and I loathe poetry with the same irrational intensity I hate jazz music.
Nobody much ever gives me gifts, so I am just very thankful for the thought.

Anything my aunty gives me is horrific.
A pop up colander.
A horrible set of cheap plastic kitchen utensils in a sickly aqua colour.

But aside from that - body lotion, no thanks. Any toiletries beyond maybe a nice bubble bath or shower gel.
Nothing decorative for the house - candles (fire hazard), "cook, bath, shag" type lettering for the different rooms, houseplants (always manage to kill them).

Don't like to get books either even though I'm addicted to them. Sometimes people are really thoughtful and get me books on my pet topics but most of the time I've read them. If the book is brand new out or obscure then maybe I haven't read it.
And other people sometimes get me books on things I have no interest in whatsoever - gardening and house plants.

I'd rather not receive anything to be honest and have a nice day our or coffee and cake with someone.

@badger2005 but surely you would take several t bags? Or those pre wrapped ones like the (lovely!) herbal teas? not just one lonely, naked t bag?!
I admit to taking at least 6 bags in a small tin - minimises any loose leaves!!

In reality I think most of don't want any presents except perhaps our consumable of choice, because we can generally buy ourselves what we want, when we want it, within reason. We're all different so what's a thoughtful gift for one is a disappointment to others.

But I definitely don't want any 'stuff'. I don't want to have to wear, look at or use items that other people have chosen for me and I don't want to have to say to people 'buy me X' because that's not a gift, that's another job I have to do to think of a gift to tick their 'I've bought you a gift' box, when they haven't really.

If you feel you must buy me something, I'll have gin (ordinary, not weird flavours or colours) or fizz, any type, I'm not fussy and equally happy with £5 Aldi cava, vintage champagne and just about everything in between.

Or lunch or dinner out, I'm less enthused about afternoon tea. I like the idea of it, but I find sandwiches and cakes weirdly filling, but at the same time unsatisfying, so I eat too much then feel a bit sick. Maybe if it was a bit more savoury led, I'd enjoy it more.

I only figured out about five years ago that my remaining parent really loves giving tech or electrical goods - so now I always try to think of something in that vein to suggest to them for me!

I don't like/want:
Whiskey
Nail varnish
Sports equipment
Cookery books
Chocolate or sweets
Food gifts generally

Wouldn't mind:
Gin
Wine
Books
Nice handwash but not lotion.
Scarf/hat/gloves/socks
Prints or stationery
Afternoon tea 😁
Thoughtful gifts from Etsy etc. DD sometimes puts together a Spotify playlist then buys a fob from Etsy that links to the list.

My mother in law is an adherent to Colour Me Beautiful and delights in a naice scarf or gloves for me in either olive or rust tones for every birthday and Christmas. I don’t wear scarves except for big blanket ones in the depths of winter (especially with a child!) and carefully jettison them after a year to charity.

I also dislike being given hand cream as my hands are like the Sahara & only Aveeno works.

It's very personal. I dislike chocolates, Prosecco & plants most. Afternoon Tea is great. Etsy & NOTHS good & I love candles.

Not quite middle aged but at just over 30 I love a gift of a good afternoon tea. Would hate whisky but enjoyed getting different flavoured gins so I can try them without spending money myself!

I often give homemade liqueurs & sometimes food gifts to aunts/mum & friends. I have been asked for refills so they've definitely been well recieved!

I've got enough body/hand lotion to last me years but my 1 aunt loves getting it as she is outside a lot & gets chapped hands.

I also like a really nice candle or soap.

For a "random" like a secret Santa I would go "safe" with some consumables like chocolates or biscuits or similar.

Hmm, you make a good point. And running out of tea is a serious issue and clearly worth us derailing the thread over! Does this tea bag holder only contain a single tea bag? That's not enough. Three would work. And yes, I know what you mean about the pre-wrapped ones, but I am not always that organised to buy those and usually just grab a couple of PGtips on my way out.

Prosecco
Anything allegedly "posh"
Body lotion
Prosecco
Scented candles
Anything with a sentimental message written on it
Prosecco
Anything pink
Anything for the kitchen or garden
Oh, and...... Prosecco

This is perhaps an inappropriate comment for what is essentially a light hearted thread but our society seems divided between those of us who are fortunate enough to have too much ‘stuff’ and those of us who can barely afford afford the essentials. So although I like cards and messages , if anyone asks me what I would like for my birthday, I suggest a charity donation instead.

Oh, and voucher for a spa day or treatment, obviously

I'll take any freebies tbh

I think for most of us we just don't want pointless 'stuff' that sits in a drawer wracked with guilt.
Consumables are great. I dont like Prosecco but I can use it for a garden party for Aperol spritz. I would be overjoyed with whisky but if you don't it's good to have in the house for guests who do (ME!). Candles are nice to burn when guests are around even if you don't usually like them and in 20 hours the fuckers are gone.

The horrible scarf, the weird ornament, the cheap body lotion, the weird book is just clutter and sits there taunting you.

Moral of the story. Always gift something that goes away at some point!

Bayliss and Harding smellies … they feel like Molton Brown’s poor relation and make me feel a bit sad when I see them in every middle aged teacher gift basket at school.

(Please, just stick to Islay single malt, Hermes nail polish, and newly published volumes of art, cookery, fiction or poetry. Thank you.)
Bless... A detailed list of the only acceptable gifts, which just happen to be completely personal to you.
Did you really imagine you speak for the world at large, op?

I’m past middle age (63) in the past have been given the following terrible gifts -

tights (multipack in vile American tan/orange tango colour)
tea towels
Tupperware
hand crochet pink/red scarf that looked like a section of large intestine
casserole dish
Pink plastic salad servers in the shape of a pair of giant scissors

I must come across as such an old bore to be given these gifts! I’ve also had some really thoughtful, wonderful and exciting presents too!

Nail polish is surely pointless these days it just chips no matter how expensive, everyone I know even my Nan gets gels or BIAB done

I love a bottle of wine or fizz, chocolate, anything really that I don’t have to then treat myself to! But I’m poor and not middle aged so what do I know

I'm 62 and teetotal. Booze gets given away.
I would hate cookery books or nail varnish.
I would love candles or body lotion sets!
It's just so subjective, so ignore someone's age and buy for the person!