Terrible gifts for a middle aged, or older, woman.

[Aixellency]

Can we make a list?

I’ll start: (This is adult to adult gifts - no judgment regarding presents from children!)

Afternoon tea. Just - why? Not that I don’t like cake and afternoon G&T - but this suggestion is always wheeled out as such a treat, as if one is suddenly too old to get dressed up for a night out.

Mug with a single ‘posh’ teabag. In fact, anything someone else thinks I’ll consider posh - I’m middle aged, I’ve done posh.

Anything at all from Etsy or Not on The High Street. Anything craft-y or home made, unless specifically requested.

Anything ‘safe’ or ‘nice’.

(Please, just stick to Islay single malt, Hermes nail polish, and newly published volumes of art, cookery, fiction or poetry. Thank you.)

One of my daughters, knowing that I love owls, bought me a bird of prey experience. I had to wear one of those big gloves and the birds flew to me. I have a lovely photo of my young grandson gently cradling a baby barn owl.

Things I don't want to receive...
Candles
Bath sets
Ornaments
Scarves or clothes
Fashion jewellery
Make up
Kitchen equipment
Anything with an age printed on it eg glassware

But I'd love to go out for afternoon tea or cocktails! 🍸 🍸 🍸

Also OP how hard for you that your parent likes gifting you tech! 🙄😆they can send me an iPad or Alexa or something if you’ve got them pouring out of drawers already !

Well past middle age, but love afternoon tea with my almost middle aged daughter and/or daughter in law. Also vouchers for the posh spa we occasionally visit. Whisky or whiskey, no ta, although DH would love either!

No toiletries, but I’d be happy with a nice candle, or some new M&S slippers.

Smellies sets
Fancy biscuits (but would love a tin of shortbread or Marks chocolate biscuits)
Hot chocolate kits
Tea of any sort since I have an intolerance
Nutty chocolates (but a tin of Heros or Celebrations is great)
Spa vouchers

I'm only 36 though... does that count as middle aged?

A friend of DH often gives me second hand books he's enjoyed as he knows we have similar tastes... a gift exchange with someone that thinks about it is lovely.

No to,
Body lotion or any cheap toiletries, especially gift packs
Scarves
Gin (but yes please to a good whisky or dark rum)
Candles
Anything pink

Things I'm putting on my next (55th!) birthday list include,
A walk with llamas at a nearby llama farm
Skateboarding lessons
A voucher for a full body massage
I could do with some more socks tbh...

If you can barely afford the essentials then a sign saying 'live, laugh, love' isn't going to help much anyway. Few people are going to turn up with bread, milk and cheese for a family of 4 for the week for your birthday gift.
If you could barely afford the essentials then a good bottle of whisky would take your mind off the crushing hunger and warm your freezing cockles as you sipped it out of a earthenware mug clasped by your fingerless gloved hands while you sat by the fire fuelled by the remains of the last dining chair in the house.

DH and I both remarked after last Christmas that we have reached 'the age' where mugs become the default gift. Or socks and PJs.

Every year for the last decade PIL have got me a dressing gown.

I do object to the handmade tat off Etsy etc. I will only accept badly made home made gifts from my DC (and even they are old enough know to go to the shop and pick something out with DH!).

Afternoon tea would not be my thing , I like sandwiches but hate cake . I cannot abide whiskey - but but unlike some I would always be pleased with a nice candle or reed diffuser. Books are tricky unless someone has told you there is a specific one you would like. But not sure a middle aged thing. DS gets presents which are a bit "generic" for want of a better word . I think the thing is to agree no presents or give a hint.

To be honest I love gifts in general and I'm happy with almost anything. Even the "weird scarf" 😁

People won't buy me afternoon tea after "the incident" I had to call "can you do gluten free?" Yes but we charge extra "do you do decaffeinated tea?" No "can I bring my own teabags?" Also no

So I could pay extra to sit thirsty or drink water and eat cake and sandwiches didn't seem much of a present so I offered it back which was rude they would much rather I lied and said it was fabulous or forgot to redeem it in time

Actually @Fishfingersandwich707 you've got me thinking that an offer to pay the recipients fuel bills for a month would be the best gift for anyone!

Happy birthday Joan I've paid your gas bill!

Everyone would be delighted at that!

Ok so here's my list of what I do and don't enjoy so much

I like
Cash
Betty's teabags in the tin
Afternoon tea in a really nice place such as Betty's or Harvey Nicks with Champagne and not Prosecco
Cherries in liqueur from Hotel Chocolat
A massage voucher is always a good one
A luxury pedicure
Florentines
A lawn mower :) I can live in hope

I do not appreciate
Bloody mugs even if they are gold and say 'promoted to Grandma'..
..I like my own mugs thank you
Nobody in this family in their right mind would buy me a scarf but now I have written it someone will.......
Picture frames for a non existent photo - why???
Really expensive perfume that is not my choice. Perfume I know I have to wear when with said gifter.. nah.

Experience vouchers - I'm very happy to go somewhere for something with a gift giver, but don't want this sort of voucher which inevitably has a load of conditions attached meaning I'd have to take time off work to use it and persuade someone else to come with me.

Definitely down to individual tastes but personally I don't like

Anything from bayliss and harding or cheap toiletries.
Anything glittery/ sequiny has a motif on it like a cupcake or a pair of high heels.
Any of those kitchen gift sets like pizza stones or tapas sets.
Any gift that costs me money for example a voucher I need to top up as it doesn't actually cover cost of a night away.
Marks and Spencer gift vouchers
Posh chocolate that's dark and bitter.

What I like

Luxury items I wouldn't buy myself, like cashmere .
Garden gifts
Theatre vouchers ( I make an exception to topping these up🤣)
Emma Bridgewater pottery
Hardback books.
Handmade silver jewellery.
Vouchers for retailers I actually shop at.
Cadburys chocolate.

And I don't drink so why get me wine?

I eat chocolate all the time lots of it no-one buys me it! I love funky socks too the only time ex mil got me socks she got upset because I didn't immediately strip off my shoes and put them on 😬

@MagpiePi · Today 12:22
No to,
Body lotion or any cheap toiletries, especially gift packs
Scarves
Gin (but yes please to a good whisky or dark rum)
Candles
Anything pink
Things I'm putting on my next (55th!) birthday list include,
A walk with llamas at a nearby llama farm
Skateboarding lessons
A voucher for a full body massage
I could do with some more socks tbh...

You will need the massage after the skateboarding lesson and not before :)

A voucher for a lingerie company that only goes up to an F cup, when I need a HH. We'll have less of the Agent Provocateur and more of the Brastop/ anywhere that sells Fantasie and Freya stuff, please.

@HairyMcLarie lol. This is why I like vouchers. For example MIL hates giving me them and loves a slightly pointless gift, she won’t do cash either despite knowing we are like lost young families are struggling. Baby dd will need a coat every winter, vests and socks etc always as she grows … why not give a Next or H&M voucher or something so I can get these essentials. Makes sense to me. But no, MIL wants to buy an age inappropriate toy she’s seen on TV and wants to pick the coat HERSELF if she’s paying for it. Cue me having to take her to the shops and watching helplessly whilst she buys pointless things which I then have to dress dd in every time we go round or I get a phone call off another family member asking why we never dress dd in MIL’s ‘things’.

Maybe I’ll ask her for a bottle of single malt for next time she wants me to take her on one of these gift picking expeditions.

Bayliss and Harding gift sets
Flavoured gins or vodkas.

I’d rather just meet up for a coffee and a chat with the giver.

It’s clear that people I know started to think I’m getting on a bit a few years ago as I got a collection of scarves, gloves, slipper socks, shortbread and wine one birthday. I’d possibly consider wearing scarves but I’m incapable of doing that chic thing that others do with them. Also they were pink/purple and pale blue which are colours that nobody sees me wear. I have tiny hands and feet and never feel the cold so the gloves and socks were too big and too pointless. Shortbread is lovely but I’m coeliac and the person knows. I gave up drinking wine over a decade ago because it makes me fighty and the giver has never seen me drink wine and indeed has had a good laugh about my reasons for giving up.

I’d love afternoon tea but the GF ones I’ve had weren’t great and I don’t eat eggs or milk and cream so I left most of it. I had a spa day once and left after an hour. I don’t want an experience that involves me being with other people for a day. Or even an hour

I know I sound difficult but there really is no need to buy me anything. No vouchers, no cash, nothing. Send me a text if you remember.

Candles - no thank, I have loads
Afternoon tea - yuk
Spa day/ beauty treatments - I wouldn't go
Alcohol- I'm teetotal
Ornaments or other clutter - no thanks
Mugs - don't drink hot drinks
Flowers- waste of money

I love any craft kit
Smellies - any are lovely. Saves me buying
Supermarket vouchers
Nice food or chocs
Scarves

hand crochet pink/red scarf that looked like a section of large intestine

😂

I love afternoon tea, would much rather do this than night out as am too tired in the evenings!

Def no to candles, they would be given away immediately.

Also hate all the cheapy bath sets that are around at Christmas, would never use.

@Underroad i think we could be twins. I hate nail varnish and false nails etc so that would be my idea of hell as a gift.

Love toiletries too, but not bothered by afternoon tea.

I think i would cry if someone gave me a poetry book or a cook book. Cannot think of a worse gift for me.