Terrible gifts for a middle aged, or older, woman.

[Aixellency]

Can we make a list?

I’ll start: (This is adult to adult gifts - no judgment regarding presents from children!)

Afternoon tea. Just - why? Not that I don’t like cake and afternoon G&T - but this suggestion is always wheeled out as such a treat, as if one is suddenly too old to get dressed up for a night out.

Mug with a single ‘posh’ teabag. In fact, anything someone else thinks I’ll consider posh - I’m middle aged, I’ve done posh.

Anything at all from Etsy or Not on The High Street. Anything craft-y or home made, unless specifically requested.

Anything ‘safe’ or ‘nice’.

(Please, just stick to Islay single malt, Hermes nail polish, and newly published volumes of art, cookery, fiction or poetry. Thank you.)

Molten Brown = Yes
Baylis and Harding = No

Loved a gift for afternoon tea at the Cavendish with bottomless prosecco though, ended up in Fortnum and Mason a bit sozzled and spent too much money!

Would hate
Spa days - do not want to sit around in my dressing gown with no make up on in public.
Anyone else choosing art work that they think I'd like (my partner excluded, he's quite good at this).
I'm not mad on other people's taste in earrings or jewellery in general. I'm quite fussy.
Anything twee - no cupcake designs, no Cath Kidston or Emma Bridgewater.
Prosecco - horrid

Hmm, most of the 'terrible gifts' in your OP I'd like or at least, wouldn't mind; and of those you'd like, I don't drink whiskey or wear nail varnish so they'd be no good to me.

No point my listing things I wouldn't want because other folk might love them. I don't think you can come up with a generic list - we are all different.

Brilliant 😂😂😂😂

No alcohol
no ornaments I’ve a couple of bits that are mine they will go to new home. But I don’t want crap that is just a dust msgnet

Chocolates I haven't vetted (allergic to nuts)
Alcohol (meds say no)
Afternoon tea (I can do better in the kitchen and I'm diabetic)
Cremes and potions I haven't vetted (again: allergic)
Activities with other people (introvert)
Perfumes (I'm far too fussy)
Craft kits (thanks, you've given me a job to do!)
Cards (don't kill a tree for me thanks)
Anything in the decorative category of live laugh love
Clothes or accessories I haven't chosen myself.
Gawd I'm a cow!
But if someone remembers my birthday and phones for a real chat I couldn't be happier!

I'm middle aged. I'd be very happy with afternoon tea or anything from Etsy! Not everyone's the same as you.

Friend of mine's husband gave her some anti-ageing face stuff. His defence was the pot cost 100 Euro. He was off with a younger woman 6 months later ...

I don't want: cleaning products, household items, hats and scarves, mugs, random boxes of tea, coffee, food hampers of any kind, gin, whiskey, red wine, cheap chocolates, body lotion, cookery books, 'fun' socks or other novelty wear.

I like posh chocolates, champagne, books, flowers, diamonds

Anything in the decorative category of live laugh love

I like almost everything- would love an afternoon tea voucher provided it was to a nice place or a cookbook or a book of poetry or a mug- you name it, I like it.

The only things I don't like are cheap version of things I already buy myself eg my mum spotted that I have a few Diptyque candles and so bought me a load of Yankee candles. Ditto wine that is worse than the stuff I buy every week or a cheap gift set of toiletries or similar. Just makes me feel a bit depressed that now I have to drink the bad wine or use the bad soap before I can go back to using my own nice things, or else regift to the school tombola. I would much rather receive a very small version of something really lovely than a great big packet of something shit.

Re the mug with a single tea bag- surely the tea bag is just intended to "dress" the gift, rather than being a real part of it? Still seems silly- after all, I know what a mug is for!

Fingerless cashmere gloves made from manky recycled cashmere (well any fingerless gloves but particular these)
Afternoon tea
A spa day (I am a spa member and even then only go infrequently)
Anything that also involves the gifter (see examples above)
Art
Cashmere socks

hand cream

Even if I don't love the gift, I love being given it. And sometimes the giver is wider than I think - I got a book of poems by Liz Berry and thought "Never heard of her, now I have to read some and pretend to like it", and then I loved it! I also wouldn't have chosen the half kilo of olive pâté or the Heavenly Gingerlily bath stuff but they were excellent.

I love an afternoon tea, as long as the voucher isn't too restrictive.

Wiser, not wider.

sometimes the giver is wider than I think

Yes, this is a good point.

Things I don't want:

Prosecco
Candles - give me asthma/migraine
Toiletries - as above plus ezcema
Prosecco
Perfume/home fragrance - see above
Mugs - we have a lifetime supply
Prosecco
Ornaments - unless I actually told you I wanted it
Prosecco

Things I do want:

Food/drink - even if I don't like it DH probably will
Wine
Books about art/history/regional cookery

The first time someone gave me a potted plant it made me really, really depressed, because it's such an "older person" sort of gift. And then the same woman gave me another very similar plant the next year ...

I do not want
Vodka
Liqueurs of any kind
Champagne or Prosecco
Toffees
Ferrero f***g Rocher (horrid)
Liqueur chocolates
Anything else with hazelnuts or walnuts in (DSS is allergic to them and I will not give them house room as a matter of principle )
Body lotion (have too much)
Perfume or make up.
Household gadgetry unless I have asked for it

I do want
Gin
Scarves
Fancy dark chocolates
Afternoon tea vouchers
Plants, seeds and bulbs
Wine (any - if it's not to my taste it will be turned into a delicious stock or sauce and appreciated anyway)
Real ale/craft beer (as above)
Candles
Fancy-ish shower gel and bubble bath. I won't be offended by Baylis and Harding.
Home made things also welcome e.g. jams, my BIL's landscape photography.

Give them to meeeee. No such thing as too many plants.

This.

I think we need to get rid of the idea that we ‘must find something to buy’ .

None of the adults in my family exchange gifts as a matter of course. But if I see something that is exactly what my brother or sister would appreciate or know they need, I will get it and send it or take it next time I go. But these things are highly specific and personal.

@badger2005 Tea drinking is serious business, totally worth derailing any thread. Not to be mocked by gift givers!
Yes, it held one single, solitary, naked T bag. It was a lovely printed material though.!

No packs of Tena Lady, please.

I would say not clothes (including scarves) but I would be happy with luxe loungewear or lovely pyjamas or cashmere.

Definitely not cheap toiletries. Or a yankee candle. But very happy with Diptique

Not tacky ornaments or signs unless bought by my children.

I'm ok with alcohol, chocolates, flowers, plants, books,

Would like for someone to take me to afternoon tea, but not given vouchers.

Whisky would be great (single malt only though). I'm happy for my daughters to get me mugs.