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Is this message calling my DS ugly?

213 replies

JimmyKeane · 27/09/2022 20:40

NC as outing
A message was posted on the class group chat that specifically referred to my instagram page. I assume it was meant to be sent to another group chat. It was quickly deleted. DH thinks I am looking too much into it. My Instagram is private but lots of the parents follow each other. I am friendly with them but not friends.
The message said " 4 pictures of DS on the swings. She really thinks that boy is special. We all think our children are beautiful"

OP posts:
DeliberatelyObtuse · 27/09/2022 20:52

She's not saying he's ugly

She is a bitch though

greyspottedgoose · 27/09/2022 20:53

I would call her out on the group chat, I saw your comment about my child's pictures, would you like to speak privately about it?

Then you have shamed her in front of others, who may have missed it and become aware she is a bitch, but look like the bigger person for not going all guns blazing in the group chat

Alarm59 · 27/09/2022 20:53

She’s being a bitch. You could let her think she’s got away with it, or you can let her know she’s been seen. And let her die inside

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thefirstmrsrochester · 27/09/2022 20:54

Tickledpickled · 27/09/2022 20:43

She’s being a bitch. Call her out on the chat so she knows you’ve seen it “I saw your message before you deleted it.. who was it for?”

100% do this 👆

Imissmoominmama · 27/09/2022 20:54

I would perhaps point out to her that following you on Instagram isn’t mandatory.

AtrociousCircumstance · 27/09/2022 20:54

greyspottedgoose · 27/09/2022 20:53

I would call her out on the group chat, I saw your comment about my child's pictures, would you like to speak privately about it?

Then you have shamed her in front of others, who may have missed it and become aware she is a bitch, but look like the bigger person for not going all guns blazing in the group chat

This is a good idea.

Prescottdanni123 · 27/09/2022 20:54

I'd be tempted to comment with something like "Making snide comments and then deleting them. She really is a coward. Everyone with a backbone would have the bollocks to say it to my face,".

norwichmummy123 · 27/09/2022 20:54

Post loads and loads more photos just to annoy her and say I think he is beautiful under so she knows you know

oddoneoutalways · 27/09/2022 20:55

I'd not let that go, spiteful people like that need to have the spotlight shone on their behaviour. I would comment:

'Wow Doris, that was a quick delete. Not quick enough though. Obviously that message wasn't meant for my eyes! Care to elaborate on what you meant by.... with the picture of my child?' and write exactly what she wrote where I put '...' so it's there for everyone to read.

That'll have her cringing into her saucer of milk. Bitch.

duckme · 27/09/2022 20:56

Definitely not calling your child ugly, but she's a bitch, no doubt about that!

SirChenjins · 27/09/2022 20:56

She’s not saying he’s ugly, just that she thinks you think a lot of your child and post too many photos of him. No idea why she thinks that’s a bad thing - unless you talk about him a lot and don’t show any interest in other people’s children? I’m not saying you do that but I’ve known a couple of mums over the years who did just that and it got a bit wearing after a while.

Id definitely let her know you’ve seen the message though 😂

Kanaloa · 27/09/2022 20:57

norwichmummy123 · 27/09/2022 20:54

Post loads and loads more photos just to annoy her and say I think he is beautiful under so she knows you know

😂 I love this. Tomorrow post 20 pictures of him on the swings with ‘I think this boy is really something special’ underneath as the caption. Or have him wearing a ‘really special boy’ t-shirt.

Jazzydrops · 27/09/2022 20:57

It sounds like she is being bitchy about you, rather than your child. The fact she needed to say anything at all probably means she is just jealous of you in some way and is trying to tear you down to the others.

duckme · 27/09/2022 20:57

greyspottedgoose · 27/09/2022 20:53

I would call her out on the group chat, I saw your comment about my child's pictures, would you like to speak privately about it?

Then you have shamed her in front of others, who may have missed it and become aware she is a bitch, but look like the bigger person for not going all guns blazing in the group chat

This is the perfect way to handle the cow.

OverCCCs · 27/09/2022 20:58

I disagree and don’t think you should try to publicly humiliate her. Sure, what she said wasn’t kind, but there is no expectation or rule that we have to be kind every minute of the day or in private chats with our friends.

The anxiety she must me feeling over whether you did or didn’t see it can be a good enough consequence for messaging carelessly.

SirChenjins · 27/09/2022 20:58

Kanaloa · 27/09/2022 20:57

😂 I love this. Tomorrow post 20 pictures of him on the swings with ‘I think this boy is really something special’ underneath as the caption. Or have him wearing a ‘really special boy’ t-shirt.

Oh do this!! Absolutely perfect response! Star👏

norwichmummy123 · 27/09/2022 20:58

I know I have just said it but I do think she is jealous of you somehow. If she wasn't your posts wouldn't bother her. Says more about her than you.

IndiGlowie · 27/09/2022 20:58

More to do with you . It's you shes jealous of

Overthemoonies · 27/09/2022 20:59

OverCCCs · 27/09/2022 20:58

I disagree and don’t think you should try to publicly humiliate her. Sure, what she said wasn’t kind, but there is no expectation or rule that we have to be kind every minute of the day or in private chats with our friends.

The anxiety she must me feeling over whether you did or didn’t see it can be a good enough consequence for messaging carelessly.

I think this too. Thinking about how I would feel in mean mums position I’d be feeling sick worrying about who had seen it, I wouldn’t reply and would leave her worrying.

cstx89 · 27/09/2022 20:59

Oh gosh that mother is being silly. Jist reply saying "if you dont want to see it just remove me"

Just immature and not a nice thing she said xx

SemperIdem · 27/09/2022 20:59

She’s not saying he’s ugly.

She should probably do herself a favour and look at your Instagram less though and be more mindful about who she is sending bitchy messages to as well.

If I had to hazard a guess it’s not the photos of your son but your captions that have triggered the bitchy comment.

Ultimately it’s her problem not yours. Consider blocking her.

WutheringShites86 · 27/09/2022 21:00

I'd let her know in the main group chat that you saw the message and clocked she's a massive bitch, suggests to me that at least one of the other parents is too for that message to have been intended for them.

"Oh dear Massive Bitch, posting snide messages in the wrong group chat isn't very clever is it? If you're going to be a snakey cunt at least try to be good at it."

FLOWER1982 · 27/09/2022 21:01

Can you remove her from seeing your instagram posts?

norwichmummy123 · 27/09/2022 21:01

FLOWER1982 · 27/09/2022 21:01

Can you remove her from seeing your instagram posts?

Yeah or just block her then she will know why

ILikeTheOrangeAndILikeTheIgloo · 27/09/2022 21:01

I agree, she’s got a problem with you. Your child is collateral damage. I don’t think she’s talking about his looks, rather that you think the sun shines of him. Which it obviously does. All children are special but surely our own children are just the best of the bunch?
It was an utterly awful thing to post. I am sorry this happened.