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Original poster

Feeling low after spoiled evening

272 replies

pipwoes · 09/09/2022 20:52

This will put me to anyone who knows but I want to vent
I had tickets to a great gig tonight - a treat as it was also very local. DH and I were going and the plan was that DS(16) would keep an eye on the dog and Ds who's 10
We were getting ready and said " you need to go sit with him (DS2 age 10) and watch tv, make sure he brushes teeth and goes to bed ok"
Older DS starts moaning and groaning and says " he'll be ok. I don't need to sit with him" and so on. We had words earlier as he'd been mean to his younger brother mocking and mimicking him. I had offered money for the "babysitting" and to give him money to go to shop for some treats
He refused to say he'd go downstairs so now I've had to stay home (wouldn't have enjoyed myself leaving 10 year old alone) 10 year old has now gone with DH and I'm home with the teen who has zero regret or shame and just asked if o got him any treats in like I'd said I would.
I'm
Missing the gig and it wasn't cheap and now I feel thoroughly pissed off. Would you be? How can I make the teen see this isn't ok? The irony is we get a family friend the same age to babysits normally and all she has to do is sit with 10 year old and ensure he gets off to bed. I even offered to pay my son

OP posts:

Twawmyarse · 09/09/2022 20:58

Your son sounds immature and a pita however no way would I have missed out on the gig - I'd have just left them to it.

All you have taught ds16 here is that if he acts up he gets his own way.

YelloCar · 09/09/2022 21:04

Had he properly, seriously agreed to this before today? Had you explained it all to him? Has it come completely out of the blue?

If yes then he needs a proper talking to by both of you.

But if not then maybe he was never the right choice of babysitter in the first place and that’s on you and your DP unfortunately.

blepp · 09/09/2022 21:06

How often is it expected that DS 16 will babysit ?

What harm would it have done to have gone out and left the two of them to sort it out?

Interested in this thread?

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10 year olds 16 year olds Families

jelly79 · 09/09/2022 21:07

Haven't you just played right in to his hands there?

TheNestedIf · 09/09/2022 21:07

I would have left the children as they were. However, since you wouldn't, when your son asked whether there were any treats, did you say "Yes. Yes there are.", and then take them all to your room to eat all by yourself? Because you should have done.

Hellocatshome · 09/09/2022 21:08

Unless you 10 year old has additional needs he doesnt need sitting with. Just having older DS in the same house and making sure he eats, brushes his teeth and goes to bed would be enough. Even if the 10 year old didn't brush his teeth or go to bed until late as long as he is safe as a one off surely it wouldn't really matter that much?

LIZS · 09/09/2022 21:11

Why does he need sitting with? Most 10yo can cope with minimal supervision for a few hours, just checking from time to time. Do you sit with him all evening normally? You have cut off your nose here.

ElephantLover · 09/09/2022 21:12

You should've gone to the gig. Why does a 10 year old need so much supervision? Can't he watch tv alone and take himself to bed when told/alarm goes etc? Sound OTT to have cancelled for this!

Hoppinggreen · 09/09/2022 21:13

I dont understand why you didn’t go.
Unless you though your younger DS wasn’t safe (physically or emotionally) with the older one?

bloodywhitecat · 09/09/2022 21:17

I don't understand why you didn't go? If the 10 year old went to bed late without cleaning his teeth nothing awful would've befallen them.

Gilmorehill · 09/09/2022 21:17

You are being a martyr. Ds2 was perfectly safe.

Tigerstripes1 · 09/09/2022 21:18

I don't sit with my own 10 year old on an evening so I don't see what the issue is. Surely he could have just shouted bedtime, do ya teeth and that would have been it?

Doyoumind · 09/09/2022 21:18

I'm having trouble understanding why you didn't go. Ds2 would have been fine. Ds1 probably wouldn't have been such a dick once you had gone anyway. There was no reason not to go. How have you let him mess up the evening? You've handed over control to him.

FirstFallopians · 09/09/2022 21:20

Your 16 year olds response sounds like how I used to answer back to my parents after they asked me to do something.

Huffing and puffing, pretending I wouldn’t do it properly, but when I was left to get on with it I just did as I was asked.

I think you spoilt it for yourself tbh. I would’ve been out the door without a backwards glance.

OctopusBreath · 09/09/2022 21:21

Agree with the poster who's saying you're a martyr. I suspect your older son thought it was ridiculous that he needed to be sitting with your ten year old, and I agree with him.

ThisIsNotTheNews · 09/09/2022 21:21

Your teen was an arse. Guess you had better keep paying someone you trust when you go out in future.
I am like you in that I couldn’t leave a child if I was not confident everything would be ok.

AlmostOver22 · 09/09/2022 21:22

I disagree with others. No way would I leave my 10yo with a 16yo who is prone to being mean to him.

TooMuchToDoTooLittleInclination · 09/09/2022 21:23

Does your DS2 have some kind of SEN or anxiety?

if not why does he need to have someone sitting with him?

if he has SEN/anxiety then why didn't you get a proper babysitter. Truculent DS1, wouldn't be getting any treats or favours from me this weekend, but I think you are being overly dramatic about DS2 needing sitting with.

userlotsanumbers · 09/09/2022 21:33

no I wouldn't leave a ten year old without proper supervision. Negligent really.

TooHotToRamble · 09/09/2022 21:35

Your 10 year old didn't need sitting with. There was no reason you couldn't have gone out.

AffIt · 09/09/2022 21:37

What do you mean by 'sitting with'? Surely a ten-year-old is fine with somebody of a reasonable age in the same house as them, they don't need to be literally watched (unless there's significant SN or a propensity for arson)?

Creepymanonagoatfarm · 09/09/2022 21:37

Changing the WiFi password encourages better behaviour ime.

Clymene · 09/09/2022 21:39

Why are you such a martyr?

Isthisexpected · 09/09/2022 21:41

If your teen had agreed to babysit for whatever reason you need one, I'd be thinking about consequences to teach him about following through on commitments.

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 09/09/2022 21:41

I don't understand why you didn't go? Why did the 10yr old need the 16yo to sit with him to watch tv??

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