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Original poster

Condoms Found in travel Bag

158 replies

Mismisy · 12/08/2022 20:10

Hello I found 8 sealed condom
packets in my husbands travel
bag. I also found empty viagra bottle , he had used it when we were trying to conceive our 2 nd baby couple of years ago and maybe some Pills were left from those. his name was intact but the address was attempted to
be scratched out . When I confronted him he does travel once in a month or 2 he told me it's for his gay friend who is having some problems and he toldhim to try out this brand of condoms so he took for his friend but the friend did not show up to collect it. Initially he said bottle of pills were old and he discarded them on the way back while crossing the border back into the country from his work trip . I found he had ordered 2 packets of condoms and he showed me and tried to make the count that none were used to his defense . He has been a bit indifferent to me for past one year or so and 2 nd baby has addded to
the stress for sure . But I don't know if he is saying the truth or lying and I m going crazy as that's the only explaination he provided . Any advise ? Thank you

OP posts:
Cantgetoffthisbus · 12/08/2022 23:41

I would be concerned that he had to use viagara whilst ttc. Also it may be that while he didn't use the ordered condoms that he might have used the first order up already. Is there is an account for the website he ordered them from then check the account history for past orders. I'm not making any presumptions on his sensuality but either way I wouldnt be trusting this cock n bull story. Sorry for the pun.

caringcarer · 13/08/2022 00:09

Sounds like he is having gay sex and using the Viagra to get harder, keep erection longer. He clearly does not want sex with you. Bin him off he has been refusing you sex because he is at it with someone else, probably a male.

LetHimHaveIt · 13/08/2022 00:21

girlmom21 · 12/08/2022 20:42

There's a very good chance someone else turned up with condoms - potentially even his gay friend.

This. I don't think it's another woman you need to be worried about.

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Women's health
bigspoonlittlespoon · 13/08/2022 00:28

He is 100% lying

Herejustforthisone · 13/08/2022 00:35

Those are the worst lies I’ve ever, ever heard.

Don’t be a mug.

Rosecottage888 · 13/08/2022 00:37

Can you ask to see the proof he was taking it for a friend?

BlueSuffragette · 13/08/2022 00:57

Sorry OP. He's not being honest with you. Get an STI check. Sounds like his interests are elsewhere.

LiesDoNotBecomeUs · 13/08/2022 01:02

Why would the friend be unable to buy the condoms for himself?
That sounds like a lie.

The rest of the story looks dodgy too.
Unused condoms - perhaps the other person had some or things didn't work out (but he was ready).

This man is not faithful.
Ducks need organising OP Flowers

Cas112 · 13/08/2022 01:10

He's made up an elaborate lie

Plutoisaplanet · 13/08/2022 01:43

thefizz · 12/08/2022 20:55

He could be gay.

This crossed my mind too

xJoyfulCalmWisdomx · 13/08/2022 01:54

I don't think men chat about condom brands and make recommendations to each other..

Hira3 · 13/08/2022 02:22

For the no sex alone this past 18 months I’d be questioning your relationship if I were you. Now this crap hes lieing.

ConfusedLove · 13/08/2022 02:44

His lying

and the whole story about a gay friend needing to try new condoms has me questioning his own sexuality

ConfusedLove · 13/08/2022 02:45

The lie doesn’t even make sense

He can’t even respect you enough to come up with a good story.

divorce his stinking, lying ass

curiousierandcouriser · 13/08/2022 02:56

UserError012345 · 12/08/2022 21:05

Liar, liar. Pants on fire.

Maybe not the only thing on fire

BlanquitaPerla · 13/08/2022 03:49

Cheating... lying... get yourself tested for sexually transmitted diseases and stop making excuses....

InsertPunHere · 13/08/2022 03:55

Get rid before he gives you an STD.

HoppingPavlova · 13/08/2022 04:03

He's made up an elaborate lie

but it’s not even elaborate, or indeed thought out. It’s something he obviously cobbled together (badly) on the spot. It’s got more holes than Swiss cheese.

I just can’t believe he and his gay friend sit around talking about condoms. In fact, in general gay men seem pretty clued up on condom choices and don’t require assistance from straight male/female friends. The Biafra is a mystery also - he took it so he could dispose of the pills in another country but bring the bottle, with address scratched out, back with him to toss in the bin at home, hmmmm. What an utter load of shite all round. He was fully intending to ‘play away’ with someone, who knows who, and either didn’t get the opportunity or did and they provided the condoms.

HoppingPavlova · 13/08/2022 04:04

*Viagra, heaven knows what Biafra is

SunshineAndFizz · 13/08/2022 04:06

And why were the packets open?

If the 'friend' never showed up why were the two packets not still in sealed boxes?

MyNameIsMarya · 13/08/2022 04:37

Mismisy · 12/08/2022 20:10

Hello I found 8 sealed condom
packets in my husbands travel
bag. I also found empty viagra bottle , he had used it when we were trying to conceive our 2 nd baby couple of years ago and maybe some Pills were left from those. his name was intact but the address was attempted to
be scratched out . When I confronted him he does travel once in a month or 2 he told me it's for his gay friend who is having some problems and he toldhim to try out this brand of condoms so he took for his friend but the friend did not show up to collect it. Initially he said bottle of pills were old and he discarded them on the way back while crossing the border back into the country from his work trip . I found he had ordered 2 packets of condoms and he showed me and tried to make the count that none were used to his defense . He has been a bit indifferent to me for past one year or so and 2 nd baby has addded to
the stress for sure . But I don't know if he is saying the truth or lying and I m going crazy as that's the only explaination he provided . Any advise ? Thank you

Sorry... But it sounds like a lie. If he actually bought them for his gay friend he would have told you to make sure you don't freak out if you find them. I'm pretty sure he's cheating.

Jellyx · 13/08/2022 04:47

Im sorry this is happening for you.
I don’t believe his explanation. Gay men probably know more about condoms than straight men. I wonder if the scratched out bottle belonged to another man? Or the condom recommendation was made to him by a man?
I don’t think it would be easy or best to simply get your ducks in a row and leave. This is your husband and father of your children.
I think you need to have a very direct conversation with your partner - acknowledge your sex life is lacking and your concern is that he may be ‘playing away.’ I’d also directly share your concern he might be gay. Tell him you love and care for him and want to work on the best way forward for the family. At minimum he has been prepared to cheat - with either male or female- and he needs to be honest. Tell him you are unable to move forward in your relationship unless he is honest. I.e honesty might give him a chance of successful relationship with you but lying by omission will not.

Original poster
Mismisy · 13/08/2022 05:56

Hello thanks all for your input . Just to clarify the condom packets were unopened and he told me he wanted to toss the pills bottle but since his friend did not show up , he tossed the pills and tried tin scratch the address of the bottle but since it did not erase completely the empty bottle was still sitting in his bag. Also he got super defensive when I tried talking abt it after a gapn of couple of months saying I have no empathy for his gay friend who is going through a tough time and I am looking at it only through my selfish view point. I also asked if I could talk to his friend to which he said he can check but coz he is gay it might be awkward and he left it at that. Also whenever I try to bring up the topic of lacking intimacy in last 18 months he says I can't force him to be intimate and it has to happen organically . He is going thru severe mental stress in past year or so due to his career and trying to bootstrap his business.

OP posts:
GoodVibesHere · 13/08/2022 06:19

Why would he 'toss the pills'? Why was he carrying out of date viagra? Why was he carrying viagra at all?

SunnySwirl · 13/08/2022 06:21

It’s entirely a lie. The story doesn’t make sense and then he went on the attack (“you’re selfish”) to deflect when you questioned him.

His embellishment of a “gay” friend stands out in this. He felt the need to add the friend’s sexuality, which shouldn’t have any bearing on the story. This part of his excuse stands out.