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Original poster

Condoms Found in travel Bag

158 replies

Mismisy · 12/08/2022 20:10

Hello I found 8 sealed condom
packets in my husbands travel
bag. I also found empty viagra bottle , he had used it when we were trying to conceive our 2 nd baby couple of years ago and maybe some Pills were left from those. his name was intact but the address was attempted to
be scratched out . When I confronted him he does travel once in a month or 2 he told me it's for his gay friend who is having some problems and he toldhim to try out this brand of condoms so he took for his friend but the friend did not show up to collect it. Initially he said bottle of pills were old and he discarded them on the way back while crossing the border back into the country from his work trip . I found he had ordered 2 packets of condoms and he showed me and tried to make the count that none were used to his defense . He has been a bit indifferent to me for past one year or so and 2 nd baby has addded to
the stress for sure . But I don't know if he is saying the truth or lying and I m going crazy as that's the only explaination he provided . Any advise ? Thank you

OP posts:
youlightupmyday · 13/08/2022 06:40

He is gay and cheating on you.

WillPowerLite · 13/08/2022 06:41

OP, you must know that this is Game Over for your relationship. And I am sorry this is how it's ending.

You are not in court; you do not need to prove that you know exactly what happened beyond all reasonable doubt. You don't need to puzzle out what happened, when and where.

You already know:

He won't be intimate with you, for over a year.

He won't seek help or counselling for that. He won't talk openly with you.

He has taken condoms and Viagra on a trip away from home.

He has lied about the condoms and Viagra.

You don't need to fill in the details, talk to his 'friend', or any other nonsense. You know more than enough to know that you have a lying cheater on your hands.

It's up to you what you do with that knowledge. I guarantee that if you end things, slowly all the sordid details will start to emerge.

Justleaveitblankthen · 13/08/2022 06:41

My first thought was he books sex workers and bought condoms just incase he needed them. They usually bring their own, so he didn't.
The Gay mention is interesting, so it could be men he books.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Women's health
W00p · 13/08/2022 06:45

The gay thing stands out, it's a bit random that he'd add that to the story if there wasn't more to it. I'd be looking up internet history or his Google timeline to see whether he'd visited any saunas recently.

0live · 13/08/2022 06:58

What @WillPowerLite said.

LesleyA · 13/08/2022 07:07

If his gay friend can’t use the internet or belongs to a religious sect that would cut his head off then believe. But why would he have both. So if his friend wanted to try viagra then take a couple for him or bottle if his gay friend couldn’t get condoms for above reasons then take condoms but both? And why scratch out address. Also why couldn’t he have openly told u that oh Harry needs to me take these

Bananarama21 · 13/08/2022 07:12

Hes clearly got no sexual interest to you. I'm inclined to think he's experimenting with his secxality with his friends on these work trips away..seems very brokeback mountain. Leading a double life.

Darbs76 · 13/08/2022 07:12

It’s the oldest excuse in the book that they belong to someone else. As another poster said didn’t we all tell our parents we were just keeping the cigarettes for someone else?

Pollydon · 13/08/2022 07:20

Hmmm, I'm thinking the gay friend is actually his boyfriend.

Hoosemover · 13/08/2022 07:26

This reply has been deleted

This post has been deleted for breaking our Talk guidelines.

KatyisWaiting · 13/08/2022 07:49

I think he is lying but there are also parts of your posts that puzzle me.

Are you in the UK? You talk about him 'ordering' condoms.

Because both condoms and Viagra are available in pharmacies (condoms everywhere incl supermarkets)

You say the bottle of Viagra has his name on it. They don't come in bottle. They come in packets and foil strips like many medication.

And to have his name and address on a bottle he'd have had to get them from a GP.

How come?

georgarina · 13/08/2022 07:54

Get tested

ChagSameachDoreen · 13/08/2022 07:54

"Bought them for a friend" is the lamest excuse in the book. Pull the other one, pal.

Cas112 · 13/08/2022 07:56

Mismisy · 13/08/2022 05:56

Hello thanks all for your input . Just to clarify the condom packets were unopened and he told me he wanted to toss the pills bottle but since his friend did not show up , he tossed the pills and tried tin scratch the address of the bottle but since it did not erase completely the empty bottle was still sitting in his bag. Also he got super defensive when I tried talking abt it after a gapn of couple of months saying I have no empathy for his gay friend who is going through a tough time and I am looking at it only through my selfish view point. I also asked if I could talk to his friend to which he said he can check but coz he is gay it might be awkward and he left it at that. Also whenever I try to bring up the topic of lacking intimacy in last 18 months he says I can't force him to be intimate and it has to happen organically . He is going thru severe mental stress in past year or so due to his career and trying to bootstrap his business.

After this post, there is an inkling that is telling me your partner might be gay hence the no intimacy in 18months

Could be also a cause of his stress

RampantIvy · 13/08/2022 08:10

He is lying to you with some implausible lies that insult your intelligence, then when questioned he gaslights you and becomes defensive.

I'm not sure you have any kind of relationship to retrieve.

WTF475878237NC · 13/08/2022 08:16

The gay thing sounds like a red herring excuse. If he were gay I can't imagine he'd start mentioning a gay friend as a cover. My instinct is he sees sex workers who provide their own condoms.

LaBellina · 13/08/2022 08:18

OP, he has cheated or had intention to cheat. I don’t buy this bullish story even for a minute. I agree with everyone else who says the gay detail is very, very odd. Why would he add that ? Please, whatever you do, DON’T EVER HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX WITH THIS MAN AGAIN.

Pikafuckingwho · 13/08/2022 08:19

Your partner is gay and cheating on you. I’m so sorry.

The ‘I got condoms for someone else’ is about as believable as when my mum found my cigarettes at 15 and ‘I was holding them for a friend.’

LaBellina · 13/08/2022 08:21

georgarina · 13/08/2022 07:54

Get tested

I’m sorry, this too. And then leave.

Nothappyatwork · 13/08/2022 08:22

Funny story, I found something very similar in my ex’s overnight work bag and guess what he was cheating too

Thinkingblonde · 13/08/2022 08:28

Anon778833 · 12/08/2022 21:04

I agree. Why else would gay be a part of the story? The truth often gets mixed with lies in scenarios like this.

Show quote history

My first thought when I read about the gay friend, the disinterest in sex with you was he’s either gay or gay interested IYSWIM.
Either way, gay or not he’s lying.

Hopeandlove · 13/08/2022 08:31

He is lying. IS. Just repeat to him on repeat. You ARE lying. I would not let it go

millymog11 · 13/08/2022 08:37

Sorry OP Flowers
Thank God I am no longer married and don't have to deal with this kinda shit any more.

But sending you all best wishes xxx

Ourlady · 13/08/2022 08:44

He’s gay.

Perplexed0522 · 13/08/2022 08:45

I’m really confused by the viagra…..

Why did he toss the pills?

Why did he keep the bottle?

Why did he scratch off the address label?

If he wanted to get rid of all evidence why not get rid of the bottle and the pills? Why just the pills and keep the bottle?

If they were for his friend why didn’t he plan on just giving them to his friend the next time he saw them? Why get rid of them?

It’s really odd.