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Original poster

Condoms Found in travel Bag

158 replies

Mismisy · 12/08/2022 20:10

Hello I found 8 sealed condom
packets in my husbands travel
bag. I also found empty viagra bottle , he had used it when we were trying to conceive our 2 nd baby couple of years ago and maybe some Pills were left from those. his name was intact but the address was attempted to
be scratched out . When I confronted him he does travel once in a month or 2 he told me it's for his gay friend who is having some problems and he toldhim to try out this brand of condoms so he took for his friend but the friend did not show up to collect it. Initially he said bottle of pills were old and he discarded them on the way back while crossing the border back into the country from his work trip . I found he had ordered 2 packets of condoms and he showed me and tried to make the count that none were used to his defense . He has been a bit indifferent to me for past one year or so and 2 nd baby has addded to
the stress for sure . But I don't know if he is saying the truth or lying and I m going crazy as that's the only explaination he provided . Any advise ? Thank you

OP posts:
WatermelonSuga · 13/08/2022 23:12

I have reported the comment and asked for it to be deleted. Thank you.

Furrybutts · 14/08/2022 00:27

Just a thought op - do you notice any large cash withdrawals just before or during his time away?
Sex workers usually want to be paid in cash.

Original poster
Mismisy · 14/08/2022 06:10

He is more possessive of his phone since last one year or so sighting that I get worked up seeing messages from his mom or sis which happened couple of times so he gives that as a reason for hiding his phone from me.

OP posts:

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Original poster
Mismisy · 14/08/2022 06:11

I checked the ordered condoms he showed me all the ones he ordered and all were intact from that website

OP posts:
Thinkingblonde · 14/08/2022 06:24

If I was innocent of accusations of cheating, seeing sex workers, lying about condoms and my accuser wanted to look through my phone I wouldn’t be worried about them seeing messages from my family, I would hand my phone over them, give them the passcode and let them see for themselves.

Vapeyvapevape · 14/08/2022 06:29

Why did he need to use viagra to help with conception? Can he have sex with you without it ?

converseandjeans · 14/08/2022 07:26

It sounds implausible. He won't have sex with you but has ordered condoms online and taken them in his overnight bag. Surely his gay friend could just order them online too?

He's either seeing this gay friend or hoping he will pull someone while he's away overnight.

Is he an attractive guy who would be able to find someone to hook up with?

He's definitely telling lies to cover his tracks.

Original poster
Mismisy · 14/08/2022 09:38

Is there a way to find out what happened since he totally denies it. Is there a way for me to find more proof ? I don't have access to his laptop or iPhone as it's passcode protected . I don't think there is any way for me to have him admit anything happened unless I go to him with some proof.

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 14/08/2022 10:31

Offer to go with him next time he 'visits his friend'.

0live · 14/08/2022 11:07

You don’t need an admission or proof. It’s not a court of law, where you gave to convince a jury beyond reasonable doubt.

You can decide to end it because you believe he has cheated and lied to you. Or for any other reason. He doesn’t have to agree.

Furrybutts · 14/08/2022 15:53

Exactly what Olive said.

Also with his laptop and phone being off limits to you, he is aware that you can't prove anything.
He's just talking his way out of it and hoping it will all blow over.

converseandjeans · 14/08/2022 16:33

I don't think there is any way for me to have him admit anything happened unless I go to him with some proof.

You would need to look at his phone or laptop I guess? Do you think he is likely to pull someone if he's away?

MrsTerryPratchett · 14/08/2022 16:43

What's the brand of condoms? Should be fairly easy to see if they're available in Canada. Unless he lives in Nunavut, I'd imagine they are.

Annabananna1 · 14/08/2022 17:29

You already have enough proof OP!!
You found condoms. You found viagra. None of his story makes sense. You've jumped to the most logical conclusion... he's cheating. You're proof is right in front of you.

Original poster
Mismisy · 14/08/2022 18:00

I did check and also told him when he said these were not available in Canada I went to the Amz. Ca website and checked they were available on the website and I confronted him with the same. Then he said maybe they were not available back then in January

OP posts:
RampantIvy · 14/08/2022 18:05

He is insulting you by assuming you are stupid enough to believe his lies.

MrsTerryPratchett · 14/08/2022 18:15

Then he said maybe they were not available back then in January

He's not even a good liar.

Hira3 · 14/08/2022 18:25

Ask for his laptop password and phone pin. His answer will tell you all you need to know.

curiousierandcouriser · 14/08/2022 23:58

Yeah - this is one of those situations where HE should be trying to prove to YOU, not the other way around. But tbh, it doesn't sound like that really matters - if you don't trust your partner, than the relationship is over. Only you can decide whether you can trust him or if there's a way of him to rebuild the trust.

Original poster
Mismisy · 15/08/2022 11:57

Thank you all I do appreciate all the inputs here. I wanted to also ask if I try reaching out to his friend via some social media means and message ( I have never spoken to him in the past) and request him to speak to
me in confidence without letting my husband know giving my reference do you think He will be willing to give me the details ? I think I know this is not true but I still need to know from his friend and then I can go back to my husband with that evidence . Thoughts ? Thank you

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 15/08/2022 11:58

Mismisy · 15/08/2022 11:57

Thank you all I do appreciate all the inputs here. I wanted to also ask if I try reaching out to his friend via some social media means and message ( I have never spoken to him in the past) and request him to speak to
me in confidence without letting my husband know giving my reference do you think He will be willing to give me the details ? I think I know this is not true but I still need to know from his friend and then I can go back to my husband with that evidence . Thoughts ? Thank you

He won't speak to you in confidence and not tell your husband and if he is his lover he'll never tell you the truth anyway.

It's not fair on his friend to drag him into this.

wellhelloitsme · 15/08/2022 12:29

Mismisy · 15/08/2022 11:57

Thank you all I do appreciate all the inputs here. I wanted to also ask if I try reaching out to his friend via some social media means and message ( I have never spoken to him in the past) and request him to speak to
me in confidence without letting my husband know giving my reference do you think He will be willing to give me the details ? I think I know this is not true but I still need to know from his friend and then I can go back to my husband with that evidence . Thoughts ? Thank you

If he's his friend the first thing he will do is tell your husband what you've messaged.

If he's his lover the first thing he will do is tell your husband what you've messaged.

There's literally no point messaging him.

DreamToNightmare · 15/08/2022 21:46

No point messaging his friend…..if he knows your partner is cheating he’s hardly going to tell you is he?!

His loyalty is to your partner, not you.

Famousinlove · 15/08/2022 22:40

Mismisy · 14/08/2022 06:11

I checked the ordered condoms he showed me all the ones he ordered and all were intact from that website

I'm guessing his friend brought his own condoms too.

MyNameIsMarya · 16/08/2022 19:44

I honestly would ask him for his passcode. To me it's Not OK to use a secret passcode for the phone in a relationship. I know my boyfriends code and he never ever hides his phone from me. He often leaves it in my room while he sleeps. Sorry but your man is definitely cheating. No doubt.
Ask him for the code. If he doesn't give it to you you definitely know something is up. I can't believe you let him treat you like that.

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