Things MN has made you paranoid about?

[ThinkingForEveryone]

I'll start:
I am fat....therefore I must smell.
I have pets....therefore my house is a germ ridden cess pit, that smells.
I use fabric conditioner on my laundry.....that must smell.
I sometimes wear a bra more than once.....I must absolutely stink on those days.
Obviously this is light hearted, I'm fairly confident I don't offend anyone with my body odour and my house is in reasonable order (and if you don't like it you have the option to piss off to your fresh smelling home!)
What threads do you read that makes you wonder what the general population must think of you?

Yes 🤣

God OP you have no idea how much I needed to read this thread today. I get so stuck in my own head thinking that I’m this a normal person doing life all wrong and beating myself up about it daily and making life miserable for myself and my husband! This thread has really made me realise that I’m pretty normal actually and to just carry on living and enjoying my life (which is actually pretty great!)

I saw a thread once about how common and tacky tattoos were! Oh they'd love me!

@BobbieMorganstern The midwife team (my daughter wasn't gaining weight properly so was under their outreach team for 6 weeks) was absolutely horrified when I told them. My health visitor however, said 'It's not the guidelines but you do what is best for you'

🤣

Hee hee! I'm sure all the most judgmental posters are absolutely lovely in real life and this is their Dorian Gray portrait.

I feel quite rebellious with my toilet brushes and slovenly personal and domestic washing habits and not being scared of carbohydrate. Since I'm the most conventional and boring person in the world I take a lot of pleasure from this.

Was it you who was once seen at a Carvery eating three, yes three Yorkshire puddings?
I bet it was.
Id6get judged for loving Carvery!

Yorkshire puddings with a big dollop of bread sauce on top.

And roasties

Can someone tell me what I’m meant to be doing with my toilet brush? Seem to have missed that one!

You’re not supposed to have one because they’re gross. You wipe the stains out with your hand.

I do not "live rurally".

I don't have loads of baby kit and a massive, carefully chosen changing bag full of...what? Sometimes I just put a nappy and some wipes in my pocket. Everyone seems fine so far.

Dairy Milk tastes the same to me as it always has so I must have inferior uncultured taste buds. Must be all the processed carbs I eat.

@Ilikecheeseontoast @bellac11
apparently it's 'terribly ageing' to have a side partying hair style 🤷‍♀️ zero 🦆 given here 😂

I do not "live rurally

Shit. I do. Semi-rurally anyway.

Does that mean my application for Humums will be rejected? I fit all the other criteria, promise (okay, except I don't have a tattoo because my pain threshold is about an inch from the floor).

But I do open my front door to any random knocker, without the 'benefit' of a Ring doorbell.

It's ok, I have a centre parting but I'd like to think we'd both get in anyway based on the rest of the criteria!

My daughters name is tacky and chav, the sort of name that gets screamed in the supermarket
my husband is 8 years older than me so he’s clearly a creep and I’m a gold digger
My dogs breed makes me working class
I can’t drive which is ‘embarassing’ for an adult (I will concede that one because it is!)
i get my nails done occasionally so I’m vacuous and desperate for men to see me as attractive

That whatever I do as a MIL will be wrong (I have 2 sons) but then I read the LTB threads and wonder if they will be single (even though they are lovely).

That I should be reported to SS for allowing my children to eat cereal.

That I'm delusional for liking all things woo.

That's before we even get started on my diet, how often I wash towels and even this thread has me questioning the correct way to wash behind your ears.

People finding me in rl.

Someone contacted my exes ex asking if he was abusive to them.

That someone would go to those lengths made me feel vulnerable.

I am sorry this happened 💐. This site can be nasty at times. I've been told I failed my kids because I rent 🙄 . Some right stuck up a*holes around on here.

Being a (takes deep breath) non-driver through choice 😬😱

Maybe us dog owning, skinny jeans and stripey top wearing smelly sods ought to set up our own corner so we don't offend the others?
On a more serious note, MN hasn't made me paranoid. I just close it and forget it.

I worry that the general public think I’m rough as arseholes because I have a couple of visible tattoos and a dog that isn’t a cockapoo.

Loo brush for me

What else are you supposed to use?

For some reason I thought HTH stood for Hit the Hills for ages :)

Breathing. Also not breathing

my husband is 8 years older than me so he’s clearly a creep and I’m a gold digger

Mine's 7 years younger than me, which makes me a sad and desperate woman and I should be ashamed of myself for seducing such an innocent soul. DP is 50.

My DH is 15 years older than me, so any minute now I’m going to become his carer.

But not yet, because he’s just making my tea.