Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

My 3 year old got rejected today

190 replies

helpim · 25/07/2022 16:23

I know it's just the start of things but it literally broke my heart to see him so upset.
He plays with next doors children and always asks first if he can go over, they always say yes and he has the best time with them but today when he shouted over they said no. His little face was so heartbroken. He kept saying 'they said no mummy, they said no'

I've explained that sometimes they are busy and can't always play when he wants to (they are older boys) but I'd like to explain it in the best way possible. God rejection isn't nice but I know he's going to face it much worse as he gets older.

How would you explain jt?

OP posts:
Sartre · 25/07/2022 16:24

This happened to my 3yo a few weeks ago with the NDN’s 3 yo. She had another friend over so told him she couldn’t play and he was a bit sad, he hasn’t really been arsed with her since.

CaptainMyCaptain · 25/07/2022 16:24

I think that what you said was fine. He'll soon forget and get over it.

Beefilm · 25/07/2022 16:25

I'd just say never mind, sometimes people are busy, what shall we do instead?

Rejection is hard but I dont really think this was rejection. Dont make do much of it, for his sake.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

3 year olds Behaviour & development Families
BiscoffSundae · 25/07/2022 16:25

Kids have to learn that sometimes people don’t want to have them round they can’t go round every day

Original poster
helpim · 25/07/2022 16:26

Makes me scared of what's to come. I feel his pain tenfold 😫

OP posts:
ShrillSiren22 · 25/07/2022 16:27

I think you’ve explained it fine. 3yo’s are pretty robust, he’ll get over it and it’s best he learn young that he can’t always expect people to want to play with him all of the time.

lunar1 · 25/07/2022 16:28

How old are they? I would get him to think of it as a treat rather than a regular thing, they will want to do things a three year old can't join in with.

GroggyLegs · 25/07/2022 16:30

It's horrible to witness as a parent but knock backs are a necessary part of our children growing & building emotional resilience.

You explained it just fine. He'll be okay.

HavfrueDenizKisi · 25/07/2022 16:31

Oh yes it is heartbreaking but you need to prepare yourself for the school years or you'll be a wreck.

I'd say the older boys are busy and you'll do something with them another time. Then take his mind off it.

Going forward though, he has to learn that we all aren't included in everything all the time and that is ok.

rattlemehearties · 25/07/2022 16:32

You're taking this far too personally. Bright and breezy, "they can't fit you in today, maybe another time, now what shall we do?" and find something else for your 3yo to do.

Sirzy · 25/07/2022 16:33

How old are next doors children?

ladydimitrescu · 25/07/2022 16:37

rattlemehearties · 25/07/2022 16:32

You're taking this far too personally. Bright and breezy, "they can't fit you in today, maybe another time, now what shall we do?" and find something else for your 3yo to do.

This. It's not rejection! Were you honestly expecting them to accommodate whenever he fancied?

BiscoffSundae · 25/07/2022 16:39

Do you ever have the kids over at yours? If they are older maybe they don’t always want to hang out with a toddler?

Heatstrokeunsteady · 25/07/2022 16:40

You did the right thing. Do not teach him to be a drama queen by giving him attention. Never mind, they will say yes another time.

Move on immediately.

You will thank me for this is years to come.

Mariposista · 25/07/2022 16:41

I feel his pain. He will learn how to handle this disappointment in time, he's only little. Take him to the park and cheer him up.

pictish · 25/07/2022 16:42

You did fine. You don’t need to explain it any further.

Whatwouldscullydo · 25/07/2022 16:42

Your catasophizing a bit aren't you.

They say no one time which could he for a million reasons they dont actually have to explain to you and you are talking about rejection.

In the nicest possible way dont be so dramatic and just say they are probably busy , now what do you want for dinner.

PipinwasAuntieMabelsdog · 25/07/2022 16:43

Just say, 'Oh well, come inside and we will do x, y, z' He will have forgotten by next morning.

SomePosters · 25/07/2022 16:45

3 is not too young to learn to take no for an answer

a lesson that will stand him in good stead the rest of his life if you support it and don’t turn it into some massive rejection drama

titchy · 25/07/2022 16:46

To be honest it sounds like he asks them a lot. Which isn't fair on them. They have been very kind accommodating him so far, but you shouldn't let him keep asking.

AcrossthePond55 · 25/07/2022 16:46

If you don't make a big deal of it neither will he. You've given a simple explanation now employ distractions to move him away from the situation.

And remember that learning to accept rejection is a very important life lesson. Even at his age he'll absorb that nothing disastrous happened and life went on.

ihavenocats · 25/07/2022 16:49

helpim · 25/07/2022 16:26

Makes me scared of what's to come. I feel his pain tenfold 😫

I get you. Every time their little faces screw up it breaks your heart doesn't it. I am not looking forward to her relationships and people breaking her heart and how sad she will be. Don't know how I will cope.

But this is life, it's not all nice, there are disappointments and I suppose dealing with them now is better than being bamboozled by them later. It's just a shame that at this age it feels like the end of the world, but it isn't.

Chocohlate · 25/07/2022 16:50

It’s not rejection! Unless they told him they never want to play with him ever again.

You can’t do what you want, with who you want to all of the time. People are busy and have plans that don’t involve him. It’s a good lesson to learn.

shiningstar2 · 25/07/2022 16:51

Do you invite them over to yours op or is it a one-way street with your DC always playing with them on their garden? Maybe their mother has said no as, if her children are older she doesn't want the responsibility of a 3 year old every time they play? Maybe sometimes invite them to play in your gardens 😀

Chocohlate · 25/07/2022 16:52

Also, it’s a bit much going over all the time. And him always asking. Do you go with him? Perhaps they were being nice. It’s normal for older boys to not want to play with a 3 year old all the time.